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Could I ask a favor?

Forum: Blended Families


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August 18th, 2005, 10:21 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,883
Could I ask you all to do me a favor? I posted a topic in the November DDC that I now realize I shouldn't have. It's titled "Off Topic...But am I Being Selfish About My Baby" it turned into a disaster and it has since been locked but you can still read it. Could some of you maybe pop over and read it and let me know your responses on here. I'm not sure if it's me overreacting or a lot of people who have never dealt with a step situation but I'm just not sure where I fit anymore. If any of you could pop over and read it and pop back here and let me know what you all think....I'd appreciate it.

August 19th, 2005, 09:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,098
Since I'm in the November DDC, too, I already read and replied to your topic. I do think you need to talk to your husband about how you feel more. Sometimes it feels to me that this new baby isn't special to my DH because he already has 3 kids and this is technically my first. He tells me that's not true, but... Just because you "got yourself into this" as people say, doesn't mean it's going to be easy. I can tell you, though, that it does get easier with time. I've been with my DH for 6.5 years now. I can actually sit down and talk to the kids mom when she comes to visit them once a year. I never thought I would be able to do that.

Sorry to ramble on. I just think that your husband is going to have to step in and help a lot more with his son and with your new baby. Good luck with the whole thing. And you can send me a message if you ever want to talk about it.

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
August 19th, 2005, 02:33 PM
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Boston,Ma.
Posts: 359
Well we pretty much have the same life.Except i just mc.So there is no baby right now to worry about.But my bf does have full custody of his 6 year old.Mom is not around at all and family lives and hour away.At times i do feel like saying some of the stuff you say but it really isnt the childs fault.If you dont want to spoil this child and follow him around then dont.treat him like you will treat your baby thats coming.Raise him like you would your own.I do worry about my bf not loving our child like he does his other one.But he tells me they are BOTH his children.Mom or no mom around he will love them both the same.I have come to terms with that.Its very hard.there is alot of hard feelings and resentment but it really is not the childs fault.I willingly got out of work the other day to bring her to her new 1st grade class.And i finally am ok with that because I am all she has as a role model for a mother.I guess i figure i can at least try to be a good one whether i like it or not.I go school shopping for her and enjoy being the one buying her things,Her mom is the one missing out.And when we do have our own i will shop for both of them.Even though i didnt give birth to her she kinda is mine.Maybe after you have your baby you will see how you would want people to treat and feel about your child.I understand the child was a 17 year old mistake but the child didnt ask to be concieved.I hope someday you exept this little boy.It is very hard.I know!!!!!!
August 19th, 2005, 03:05 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,883
Ok, I'm putting a stop to this thread here and now because it is clear that it will turn into the same situation it turned into on the other board. I clearly should not have posted it here either. However, before I ask for this to be closed, please let me say that what everyone does not seem to understand is that yes, I do realize NONE OF THIS IS THE CHILD'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!! I also understand how "I WOULD WANT PEOPLE TO TREAT MY CHILD" and let me state, once again, that if someone did all for my child that I do for this one, personally, I would want to thank them. So, now that it is very clear that this should never have even been mentioned anywhere, let me please ask anyone who may read this to considered this thread closed and I will try to refrain from posting about such issues in the future.

August 19th, 2005, 03:07 PM
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Boston,Ma.
Posts: 359
Not meaning to make you angry just this subject i guess rubbed me the wrong way.If you have not had the baby yet how do you know how dh is going to treat it?He probably will treat it exactly like his other child.I know when family spoils the child because of there past and there situation is very hard.But as long as you guys dont under your roof then parenting this child should work out.And if your dh doesnt want to hear it and wants to parent how he wants to then i dont really understand why your still there.This should be a partenership with BOTH children.I know the child is 9 and should be picking up his own stuff but when your baby is 9 and left out a dirty dish wont you put it in the sink for your child?Whats the difference both these children really are both of your children.....I guess this post just really makes me realize how much i have grown and how much i love my bfs daughter.I do also think your baby should be treated equally.When you go clothes shopping for your stepson maybe you should also buy for the baby.Really does get easier after a period of time.Just seems like you hate the child for your choice of giving up your life.Im sorry but it was your choice.Please dpnt get me wrong your child SHOULD NOT be pushed aside but neither should the other one!!
August 19th, 2005, 03:17 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,883
Once again, I am asking that this thread be considered closed. I have NEVER, EVER stated that I hated this child or any other child, I simply chose the wrong place to vent my frustrations at a situation that has been bothering me. I do take offense to the implications that I am being childish or whatever it is you would choose to call me because frankly, if anyone involved in this is childish, it would be his actual mother. I, on the other hand, have taken responsibility for a child over which I am allowed to have no control and at that, I am frustrated. I simply posted this on a board in which I had believed that I had grown to be friends with many of the people on and everything I said was taken completely out of context. I stated very clearly that it was simply a vent, no need for anyone to reply, certainly no need for anyone to pass judgement, and that has not at all been the case. I moved it to a place where I had hoped that someone in a similar situation may recognize it for what it was, a vent at a situation that frustrates me. However, that too has not happened and since this is obviously a problem of me not clearly communicating exactly what it is that I was trying to communicate, it is probably best for all concerned that I eliminate myself from all JM boards, as it is quite clear that a vent on a situation which bothers you, regardless of the circumstances, or anyone else's beliefs, cannot simply be taken for what it is, namely, a vent on a bothersome situation. Once again, I ask that everyone treat this thread as a closed thread. My apologies for intruding on your boards.

August 22nd, 2005, 07:59 PM
Cameron-n-JaydensMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Parma Ohio
Posts: 4,938
Girl let me tell you, I read your post and felt like I was reading about my life! The same exact thing happen to me! I know exactly how you feel any exactly what you are going through!

If you would like to talk PM me and we can chat more!!!

Take care, Kristi

August 25th, 2005, 06:20 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 47,594
In the future, if you would like a post closed or reviewed, please hit the report button. We have several thousand posts a day and unfortunately we can't see all of them. I will go a head lock this post for you.


Check out my running blog - Wannabe Running Mama
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