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Soooo many feelings of resentment

Forum: Blended Families


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October 18th, 2005, 11:03 PM
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Hi All,
I was pondering if I should talk about these feelings at all.... I brought 6 kids (from a previous marriage) into my marriage to the love of my life.
My dear husband is 26 years older than me. He has 2 grwon kids who were basically raised by their mother.
My DH and I had 5 babies in less than 4 years (two sets of twins and a singleton). My older 6 accept my dh just fine.
His grown kids however always treated me like scum. What hurts me the most is that my dh's family (in Ireland) ONLY talks about his first two kids and totally disregards our 5 children together. This has caused friction between us to the point where I don't even want to hear about his kids from his first marriage anymore.
His entire family disregards me and our 5 kids completely....(I'm not even "pushing" my other 6 kids onto anybody, just our 5 kids together would be nice to be acknowledged!)
Has anybody heard of anything so hurtful before?
I feel like I'm going to drown in hate for his family but I don't want to....
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October 19th, 2005, 08:35 PM
magilatuzzi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, British Columbia
Posts: 4,599
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Man can I relate to you... well, in a way. My EX DH's family all still lives in Oregon. (he was born there, moved to Canada when he was 4, and stayed here when his mom returned to Oregon when he was 19) In my situation, My Ex DH's family is very hands on with his brother's kids... but his brother lives in Oregon as well. With our kids, I am lucky if they get a card on their Bday's with $5 in it, and phone calls or emails....maybe once a year, but prob not even that. It is like my kids are being punished for my Ex's choice to remain in Canada. Drives me insane! The way I kinda look at it though is that I would rather that they didnt bother if they cant be a positive role model. I did at one point write a rather nasty letter to my ex mother in law, but it got me nowhere, so I gave up. Best of luck to you, and loads of
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DS Drew, 04/94, DS Braden, 10/97, DS Nick, 07/99, DD Danika 07/06, DD Gabriella 11/07,
DSD Rayelle 03/97, DSD Seryna, 06/01
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November 30th, 2005, 11:18 AM
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I'm so sorry I'm seeing this so late... My step-mom's family has never included me or my brother as "family" more like friends. They let us come for dinner but not being considered family is very hurtful so I've quit seeing them. (Now that I'm older I can do it.) The down side is I know my step-mom wants me there but I can't do it. My step-mom's dad's last words to me were something along the lines, I only have one grandchild from Rose. (Rose is my step-mom and I have two brothers, one a half brother from Rose - obviously the only grandchild in his eyes.)
Strangely enough, it took my dad's parents a long time to warm up to my step-mom and to this day she would maintain that her son (my half-brother) is not treated the same as me and my other brother.
There are a ton of family issues here, obviously but I wanted to let you know, you're not alone in this strange way we get treated and are treated... I hope the holidays are good for you... I know I get stressed out because of all the pressure of unresolved family issues.
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December 1st, 2005, 05:40 PM
Mommy2Aiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,880
wow that is a lot of kids. I would love to have a whole bus full one day. How do you do it? That much take one BIG Suv.

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