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Dating and not know where he lives

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  • 1 Post By pickle0313

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July 30th, 2012, 06:50 PM
icymommy's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 75
Ok...so I met this guy that started off as a business transaction to use seeing each other after 6 months. He is 11 years older than me and we talk on the phone everyday.

This is the funny thing...I don't know where he lives. And I am not talking just me, I am talking about people in general. I knew this before we got involved. He has a business partner and she doesn't even know. Only his family knows where he lives.

Now I talk to him on the phone all throughout the day. I have been on the phone with him til sometimes til 3am. We have been talking like this since Aug of last year. I have met some of his family and I talk to his close cousin and all say that he isn't married. In fact he's never been married.

So that brings up the question...why is he hiding where he lives? When I talk to him and when we are out and about driving he will share stories about the various businesses that he did and franchises he operated and stuff. I was sitting next to him and this woman IMed him about her house being up for short sale and he told her he will buy it. He is self employed but starting to wonder if he is wealthy and don't want me to know so I can like him for who he is..

My kids love him and he loves my kids and he spends 2-3 days straight with us each week and don't know too many married me who can stay at another woman's house for that length of time...

Any thoughts on this?
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July 31st, 2012, 06:22 PM
terryterry's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 652
Maybe it's just my opinion, but this seems really sketchy to me. If a guy I was dating didn't show me where he lived I'd be asking some serious questions, particularly since he obviously spends time at your home.

I'd hint around it gently at first, in case there's a good reason, maybe he'll spill the beans, but if that doesn't work I'd ask flat out why he's never offered to take you to his place, and if the answer isn't satisfactory, I'd bail.
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August 1st, 2012, 08:07 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
Red flags there too me.

I would ask same as Terry and if the answer isn't good enough then time to bail.

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August 6th, 2012, 11:29 AM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
My advice from my own personal experience....... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
terryterry likes this.

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August 8th, 2012, 04:20 PM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
The dude I was dating told me I wasn't allowed to know where he lived until we had dated for 3 months. He said he had some crazy women in the past and just found that it was better if he didn't tell them where he lived. After dating him for over a month, having him over to my house MULTIPLE times, and him STILL not telling me where he lived along with other games he played I said goodbye. The games he was playing were probably responsible for the "crazies" he had a problem with in the past. The dude had trust issues, and I thought it was unfair he knew where I lived and stayed there multiple times but I didn't know where he lived. Ridiculous. If you can't trust me, then we don't need to date. Or at least I'd have leveled the playing field by not letting him know where I lived for a while, but I didn't find out until 2 weeks in that I couldn't know where he lived.

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August 9th, 2012, 05:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
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I think I would back off and end things if he couldn't tell me where he lived. That gives me red flags. Especially if he's been around your kids a lot. I would cool things off and just be direct about it.

And if you've been dating since Aug. of last year.. I'd have a serious talk or bail.

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November 2nd, 2012, 02:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,822
Yea that sounds super sketches I agree with the other ladies that poses some huge red flags for me! I agree with all the above. I'd ask him out right directly. You guys have been involved for over a year I think it's time to spill the beans. If there is t trust there now the there never will be.
Good luck!

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