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  • 1 Post By rugby_girl
  • 1 Post By Mom2Brendan
  • 1 Post By Love My Joey

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August 6th, 2012, 10:06 PM
Love My Joey's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 715

Last edited by Love My Joey; December 30th, 2012 at 11:51 PM.
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August 6th, 2012, 10:24 PM
terryterry's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 652
First let me say that I have no experience in this area, so you're just getting my gut reaction.
1. If he can't call you to chat about visiting then forget it. It's important to him or it's not. (I'm presuming that you haven't been a crazy lady in the past and called him a bunch when you shouldn't have, because then he might have good reason...)
2. He should come to you and your son, at least for this first visit. Again, if he's not willing to make the time and make the trip, then let it go.
I'm sure that you feel like you might be letting down your son by not doing these things for his father, but I think in the long run your son would rather know that his mother was doing the best she could to protect him from being hurt by a father who wasn't dedicated to him.

Congrats on the new job! Glad you've found something you enjoy!
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August 6th, 2012, 10:46 PM
Love My Joey's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 715
Thanks for the response

I definitely wasn't a crazy lady before haha He changed his number once he decided he didn't want to be involved and we didn't talk all that much before anyways. I just feel like after all this time there are some things that we should talk about to at least make sure we are on the same page. I think I need to just let it go and when he has a actual plan to come visit here with actual dates then I will consider it. It is so hard to be a parent sometimes...you just want what is best for your kid but you don't always know what that is. I really wish he didn't have a gf though, for some reason that is really bugging me that he can care about her so much but not his own son...I really don't like FOB lol.
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August 7th, 2012, 03:58 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
Pisses me off when guys do that - claim they can't support their child, yet they give their 'new family' everything..... Gah.

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August 7th, 2012, 09:33 PM
Love My Joey's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 715
^^^That is exactly what I can't understand. He can put so much into this relationship with his gf but can't be there for his kid.

So randomly today I get a email from FOB while I am at work where he brings up his gf...thought it was crazy since I just posted here about it haha. He told me that he has a gf that he has been with for a while and he asked if he could bring her with him when he sees our son for the first time in years...I was shocked. First, he says he has been with this girl for a while which really only is about 4 months now...I don't consider that to be very long. He told me that she is really supportive of FOB contacting us and she really wants to be there and FOB says it would mean alot to him. I'm not ok with it. It's not like they are married or anything and a 4 month relationship isn't anything in my oppinion especially at 24 years old when he is still partying all the time and stuff. I just don't get it. I told him I'm not ok with it and if that is what he wants then I don't want him around. This situation isn't any of her business. Our son should be the priority here and there is no reason for her to be around at this point. Am I wrong? Would anyone else be annoyed that he would even ask that? Be honest
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August 8th, 2012, 04:31 PM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
I'm going to keep it short & sweet - You can't worry about the new girlfriend. That really doesn't concern you honestly. Yes, it sucks, but that's as far as you should think about it because it sincerely will drive you crazy.

About your son - I understand your drive to do right by your son. Here's how you can do that. Tell the sperm donor if he wants to see his son, let you know when he's in town and you guys can make arrangements. Don't offer to take the kid to him, that's BS, especially knowing he can afford to come and just hasn't or won't. As a mom if you open the door to the sperm donor and say we are here and you are welcome to visit when you are in town you are doing ALL you have to do to being doing right by your son. The rest is BD's fault if he can't make it happen. If it's important that he be a part of his kid's life then he will make it a priority & make it happen. You shouldn't go out of your way for this dude who clearly isn't that concerned about seeing your son or he'd have done it already.

That's just my two cents hun. Sounds like you and the baby are better off.

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August 8th, 2012, 06:41 PM
rugby_girl's Avatar <3 my boy :)
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NH
Posts: 1,176
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Honestly its sounding like he's only making contact so his gf doesn't think he is a dead beat and that he is trying... More like trying to impress the gf rather then have a relationship with his soon

Sorry hun guys suck!

PS sending you a pm
pickle0313 likes this.

Jaime, single mommy to Austin (2/8/11)

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August 9th, 2012, 04:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
Yep sounds like he's trying to impress his gf
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August 9th, 2012, 09:46 PM
Love My Joey's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 715
Yeah I agree with you guys...that is definitely what is seems like. I emailed him back telling him I didn't want his gf to meet Joey this early into their relationship but I still supported the idea of him coming here to see him if you wanted to still and I haven't heard from him...whatever lol. My email back to him didn't sound as nice as that but that was the basically what I said haha. I knew it must have been to good to be true when I heard from him...Joey will have a good guy to look up to one day and I love him enough for two people

Jaime- I just got your message and I will do that tonight or tomorrow...my internet is being slow right now lol.
pickle0313 likes this.
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August 10th, 2012, 01:27 PM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
Good for you hun!! He hasn't been around all this time and it seems like you and the little man are doing great. If it ain't broke don't fix it!!

Keep on pluggin' mama. You're doing a great job!

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