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parenting disagreement

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February 3rd, 2017, 04:00 AM
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1
Hi. I'm recently separated from the father of my 6yo daughter. We were together almost 9 years. He was an absolute control freak and I'm glad it's over, however it is still very raw and our daughter is sad. We were planning a holiday overseas next year. However, as I now won't be going, I have made a clause in our parenting agreement that our daughter will not go overseas until she is at least 10yo unless I am with her. I would be worried sick until she is old enough to be aware of strangers and know what to do if she happened to get lost. I just feel she is too young to go without me. Now my ex is REALLY angry about this. Am I wrong ???
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February 3rd, 2017, 09:43 AM
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 53
Unless you have a very serious reason to doubt that your husband won't take care of her, yes I think you are wrong. It's not like she'll be alone. She'll be with her dad the entire time. I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

It's not like you can't talk to your daughter and make plans about what to do if she is lost and to stay close to her dad at all times before she leaves for the trip. That's something that should be done regardless of if you are going on the trip or not honestly. The more the plan is talked about the better chances of it sticking in the kids brain if they actually get lost.

I don't know you or your husband or anything about your situation. But if there are no red flags and he's a responsible parent, let them go and have a good time together.
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February 4th, 2017, 06:47 AM
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1
I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" in this situation. You might be hurting because it is all still very raw and painful. You are not a family anymore, you will not be doing things together as you once did. The thought of your daughter and her dad being together may be tough because you are reacting to the separation. Yes, she is young. But no one but you knows the right answer here. It might be worth talking to a counselor and working through your feelings. I am sure you want what is best for your daughter. Parents may separate but the child should never feel caught in the middle or feeling like they have to choose sides. She is young and should grow up knowing that both parents love her deeply and want to be with her and share the important moments in her life. Search your heart and your motives and you will have your answers......but working those feelings out with a professional counselor will help to put you on a path of healing. You have been through a lot. I wish you and your daughter the best.
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