Log In Sign Up

New Here and need a quick vent

Forum: Mental Health


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Mental Health LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
March 18th, 2010, 03:00 AM
KiwiMommy's Avatar Ashlynn's Mama
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 3,863
Not sure how often I'll be posting in this forum, but I'll introduce myself before I vent
You can call me Kiwi (it's a nickname i've had since I was about 10) and I'm 18.
My daughter Ashlynn is 7 weeks old.
I'm a single mommy and we have no contact, nor do we plan on having contact, with her father.

Here's my rant..
I am pretty much a walking disorder..
I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 10. In 5th grade I had a panic attack due to something I can't honestly remember, and hid under a table for nearly an hour.. When the counselor got me to the principals office, my mom and a police officer were there.. I began to scream about wanting to be dead..
Needless to say, I was diagnosed with a mild form of depression. At about 13, I began a round of self-harm and not taking care of myself (showering, brushing my hair..) and was diagnosed with a more severe form of depression.

After some counseling 2-3 years ago, I was formally diagnosed with Depression as well as Anxiety (social and generalized), OCD, Sensory Processing disorder (Tactile-meaning I can't bear to touch certain things like clay, mud, etc. and crave certain things like silky blankets- and Auditory- meaning my ears are sensitive to certain sounds like the vacuum),as well as a possible ADD (though some doctors say I have it, some do not)
I had/have undiagnosed Anorexia, but have been doing VERY well since last may.

I have been on multiple medications..
Strattera(sp?) when I was 12. I went from 85lbs to 67 and took myself off it, even though my mother threatened to make me take it... I was too thin and always felt VERY sick!

Prozac when I was 16-17. Best medication so far. My depression was nearly gone. I had to stop taking it when I got pregnant, and since I'm BF'ing, I'm still off it.

Ativan- amazing anxiety medication. My dr. gave me too low of a dose, so it didn't help (.5mg) so I had to take 2-3 to be able to stand situations that triggered panic attacks.. They took me off of it when they found out as opposed to realizing that the dose was too low.

I can't remember the others, though..

I've been doing wonderfully since stopping the Prozac, though I had some depression relapses often while pregnant, they've been happening less lately (I 'blame' the happiness from my daughter!)

I had never intended on getting pregnant, however, for fear of passing on the family's genetic problems..
Anxiety is a big one..as well as depression, bipolar, and ADD.
I'm terrified my daughter will go through the same things I did.
Her father confided in me that he had ADD, so her chances of getting that may be a bit high..
It's a constant worry I have that she will develop these problems and have them interfere with how well she succeeds in life. I know that my anxiety and depression caused me to fail many classes.
I could not speak in class, so teachers gave me low grades on presentations and class participation, as well as threw me out of class for not reading out loud..
And when I hit a depression, my grades would go from 90-100s to 40-60s within weeks.. I could never find the energy or desire to do much of anything..

Alright..thats my rant..
I'll most likely lurk more than I post, but I'll try to be at least somewhat active here!
I'm sure it'll help when i'm feeling low!

Reply With Quote
March 18th, 2010, 02:55 PM
girlggc's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,053
I know how it feels to have a ton of diagnosis.

Thank you to pattyandthemoos for the beautiful siggie!

Reply With Quote
March 18th, 2010, 05:01 PM
Posts: n/a
Hi Kiwi! Welcome! It does seem like you've got a lot on your plate but it seems as though many of us do. I'm sure that you are so committed to your daughter-- I can definitely sense the love-- even if she does develop mental issues, you have the experience to help her through them! I'm glad you are still feeling OK off of the Prozac and that your daughter makes you so happy! Please stay and help us all cope!
Reply With Quote
March 19th, 2010, 02:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
Hey Kiwi, welcome to the board. It's a slow board, so it'd be great if you posted!! I'd love to have this board a little more active, because there are times when I really need it.

I also have major depressive disorder, OCD, anxiety (generalized & social). And like you, I am worried about passing on mental illnesses to my son. They run in my family and his father's family. Both of our families have Bipolar, ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety in them... sooo. It worries me too!!! But I know it's also completely out of my control, and it's not going to be my fault if he DOES happen to have a mental illness.

Plus, like Michelle said, we'll have some experience and we won't be going through it in the dark. Like when my sister was first diagnosed with ADD (idk, 15 years ago maybe), I remember my mother crying for days, because she had no idea what it was, how it was giong to affect my sister, etc. So at least we will have the knowledge and we won't freak out like my mom did, lol.

Oh, and my sister is also bipolar, and she just had a son. So I'm sure she's pretty worried too. But we really can't dwell on it, you know? Because there's also a good chance that our children won't inherit any of our illnesses!! So try not to stress too much.

Reply With Quote
April 11th, 2010, 09:59 PM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Trinidad
Posts: 20,622
Send a message via MSN to Lisadear Send a message via Yahoo to Lisadear
you know Kiwi

it's when I read posts like yours that I feel wonderful ... you've been through so much and from such a young age and you are doing well you really are!

Thanks for sharing with us ... I'd like to suggest that you rename your post from 'rant' to 'a story of inspiration' cause I honestly felt good reading how you have pulled through and still trying ... WONDERFUL proud of you.

xxx Lisa xxx
xxx Lisa xxx<div align="center">

Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:18 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0