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Resisting urges

Forum: Mental Health


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August 26th, 2010, 01:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,338
I haven't been doing too well lately. I found out I have to cancel my doctor appointment yesterday as per my DH's request. I cannot get help despite having insurance due to the costs involved. I might be able to start to get help come January. I'm managing the best I can on my own. When I get to the point where I'm at right now I tend to fully evaluate my life and why I still stay with my DH. I love him of course and he's a good dad to our kids but in the past he has abused me(if you want to know the whole story you'll have to [email protected] survivors of abuse board)but hasn't in 2 years. However, I've noticed that things are just to a point now to where I'm seriously questioning my own sanity. I know I need help, someone to talk to but like I said we can't afford it. I'm trying not to make things blow up between my DH & I. Last night he was trying to be all lovey but I wasn't in the mood. I apologized and had told him all day that I wasn't doing well and was having an "off" day. He copped a huge attitude about it. I honestly ignored it. I'm trying not to let my moods or my issues affect things but I know that's impossible. I'm trying to resist the urge to truly tell my DH what's going on inside me because I know all it'll do is cause fights and issues. I'm trying to not stay in bed all day. I'm trying to be who I'm supposed to be as a SAHM but I'm barely able to keep up with things.

How do you all manage your urges, be they harmful or just irrational(or maybe even rational?)

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August 27th, 2010, 02:08 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
I have urges that make me feel horrid after I've even thought of them. I have NEVER and would never act on them but it can be hard sometimes. I normally just take time out. Go in my room and read a book or take a bath anything to get my mind off of the situation. I hope you are doing ok.
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October 8th, 2010, 05:45 PM
HailandNevansmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,990
i know how you feel... ive had a huge history of phys / emotional abuse with men.

Heres what i think...only my opinion.

My ex ( nevans dad ) pushed me for the first time when i was pregnant, and also some other threats, and phys / mental stuff... i left him when the alcohol and abuse was gettn too much ... i was a few mo pregnant and went back after 1 month.. he was sober for 3 mo, but started again.

i stayed with him all the way till the end of august when i left, and we still talk and he sees nev once n a while... but i feel like all my anxiety issues got worse being around him, because i never really FORGAVE him, nor LOVE him like i used to because of the things he said / did. my story is also in the abuse forum, but that was way back when i was pregnant.. my son is now 17 mo old. the last straw was him freakin out over something dumb, drunk, and outta control.. and i finally had enough.

I can tell you now, that was a HUGE stress and trigger in my life that was bothering me, and now i feel a huge relief... im not 100 % better, but i do feel better since leaving him. I also have other issues i know are bothering me as well.. and i strongly believe our mind is a very powerful thing, and when we are enduring something, or things are bothering us, our minds can throw other things at us that seem worse... its a subcouncious thing tho .. and sometimes you cant pinpoint what it is thats the real problem right away.

Now im not telling you you should or shouldnt leave him... or if youve forgiven him or not... but this MAY be the issue with you... if you just sometimes relax and maybe get a spa relaxation cd or something and when its quiet, lay and just think " what is it thats really bothering me? " its worth a try... i hope you feel better soon.

oh and with the urges, mine are not URGES per se but just irrational thoughts, worries , fears.

I posted in another thread .. the things i do for self help for these things... which helps but of course doesnt competely make them vanish. One thing you have to say to yourself is... ( i know easier said than done but it works sometimes believe me) " these are just thoughts, urges what have you , and not me as a person" " i have faith in my true nature" and just allow yourself to accept (NOT RESIST) the thoughts for just a second , and then let it go ... the anxiety u feel will be high for a few seconds, but resisiting, or pushing away, or avoiding these thoughts, can actually make it worse on you mentally.

I have trouble practicing these most times, but sometimes i can guarantee you, it works!~


Last edited by HailandNevansmom; October 8th, 2010 at 05:56 PM.
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