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Codependent couple

Forum: Mental Health


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November 28th, 2012, 09:25 AM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 26
My boyfriend and I are both codependent (I'm recovering, and he's the adult child of a narcissist). I have only known him since June. I found out that I had an unplanned pregnancy while we were taking a break. I'm concerned that breaking the news will just intensify his love addiction. Can a relationship between two codependents work? What are the pitfalls and things to watch out for? Any success stories?
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November 28th, 2012, 02:00 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,884
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Hi there
I am not sure anyone can judge whether or not it could work, because every situation is soooo different. My spouse and I are co-dependant to a certain point.

I really hope it can for you, for the both of you and for your baby.

Are you too in any sort of counseling? Maybe you could benefit from couples relationship counseling?

Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (15), ds Marcus (13), Our together miracle, baby Dean, 17 months

Crazy enough to try all over again for a second together baby! Hoping for a much less wild ride this time!

TTC with PCOS for 5 very long years. Annovulatory cycles. Multiple doctors. Different meds. One horrible loss. And then one wonderful success, born 2/18/14.

I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
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November 29th, 2012, 10:45 AM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 26
It actually just dawned on me recently. I initiated the break so I had time to think about it. I knew he had a narcissistic mother, but it took me a while to KNOW he had a narcissistic mother. After our break I'll be observing his behavior closely to know if the relationship is salvageable or not. I have no doubt that he could be a nurturing father, but I wonder if he could be an accepting father. As for me, my challenge is reigning in my spending habits because I'm going to have to do some serious saving.
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December 4th, 2012, 02:43 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 26
Is it possible that a codependent/love addict would have an ulterior motive to using the withdrawal method? I have a feeling that my boyfriend may have impregnanted me on intention so I wouldn't leave.
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