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Panic disorder (a little vent/freak out)

Forum: Mental Health


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  • 1 Post By Spottts

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January 15th, 2014, 04:46 PM
..Michelle..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 1,299
Cross posted from my DDC If any of you remember me, we got our BFP in December! But here it is (cut/pasted)

I have bipolar 1 as well as social anxiety, depersonalization disorder, panic disorder, slight agoraphobia and anxiety attacks.
I've been off my meds completely since the middle/end of September 2013 so we could safely TTC. Got my BFP on December 27th and up until a week ago the anxiety was under control. Not gone, but manageable.
For the last few days I don't sleep, I have panic attacks when I feel the littlest things and my mind is racing. I feel like a manic episode is coming on because I recognize my symptoms and see the signs.
I go to my OB on Friday at 9am and I don't know if I can wait that long....just because I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
Since losing our son in 2008 I feel like I can't enjoy this pregnancy...like I know something is going to go wrong. At 5 months PG is when we found out about Roman's hydrocephaly and all I can think about is that something is wrong because I have no morning sickness right now...that I'm not "normal" and it's freaking me out.
Then when he came unexpectedly at 30 weeks, 2 days we found out about the cerebral palsy, blindness and he contracted spinal meningitis.
I'm just so worried ALL THE TIME and can't calm down. Before, my meds helped me to be calm but now I have nothing, just relaxation techniques that AREN'T HELPING
I am not going to say I can't do this because, well I HAVE to....but jeeze....it's just becoming SO HARD and I'm only a little over 7 weeks along! I've got (hopefully!) 33 more weeks to bake this bub and I just don't know how I'm going to do it.

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January 18th, 2014, 08:07 PM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,476
:dothugs: I'm sorry your feeling like this already Congrats on your pregnancy though! I was so excited for you when I saw your new ticker.

You've probably done some or all of these but maybe not? Maybe you could try Benadryl to see if it helps you sleep? It's on the safe list from my OB and listed as something that may help you sleep, as a side effect. It doesn't do it for me but knocks out my DH.

I try to stay busy which helps me to not worry so much and use a mental picture of closing those bothersome thoughts in a locked up chest or locked door. When I really felt like I was loosing it, journaling helped. It had to be with pen and paper, not the computer. Writing in cursive also helped calm me down some, as odd as it sounds.
..Michelle.. likes this.
Mom to 4 girls - age 11 (1/05), 9 year old twins (1/07), 21 months (7/14) and baby BOY is due May 26, 2016.

Sept. 2013 3/10/15
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January 22nd, 2014, 05:38 AM
..Michelle..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 1,299
I take diphenhydramine (the sleepy part of Benadryl) to sleep, my doc said that is fine too I'm thinking of trying to start a journal and it is odd but cursive helps me too! Printing to me seems harsh or rushed, if that makes sense.
thanks for stopping by to lend an ear 's to you too!

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January 23rd, 2014, 09:58 AM
HeavenlyJewel's Avatar Loving Wife and Mom
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,117
Wow I'm am sorry hun. It is understandable that you would be worried I would be to but just remember that each pregnancy is different. Also that we are here to listen you do need us. I have high anxiety as well and am off meds to currently TTC. I know a little how you feel. I have Borderline personality disorder, PTSD, depression, anxiety, panic attacks and well fibromyalgia. Possibly a slight form of autism so I worry. I had PPD with my son and I know my one was medically caused but I worry it will happen again but then I try to remember that I have support that will be here for me and a very supportive hubby. Just try to use your relaxing techniques and take it one day at a time and if you have to take it an hour at a time or even a minute at a time. HUGS.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for making my siggy!

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January 24th, 2014, 08:58 AM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 61,857
(((HUGS))) I have bipolar 1 and panic attacks as well. One of my biggest problems when I'm not on meds is with insomnia. The benedryl does help, but for me it only helped for a while. I'm wondering if there is anything your doc could give you to take as needed for anxiety. I believe there are some that are safe during pregnancy. I don't know how you feel about that.

One of the things that helps me with my mood swings and anxiety, is to remember that they don't last forever. I have rapid cycling bipolar so my moods change pretty quickly. I might be extremely anxious and depressed one day but the very next day I may be happy and hyper. I just try to tell myself when I get on the down side that it's not going to last forever and try to ride it out.

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