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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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February 6th, 2009, 02:32 PM
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Ok, so everyone here KNOWS how much I love my babies and the fact that my mom and I put a lot of time decorating their headstone for the Holidays and whatnot.....well, we've ALWAYS been told that we can leave stuff on their headstone as long as it fits within the vase (it is a perpetual care cemetary, so they have lots of rules) Around Christmas and stuff, they are more leniant and will allow things outside of the vase but only for a short time (roughly a week)...

Well today when I got off work, I called my mom like I always do and she informed me that the boys' Christmas tree (which was in the vase) was G-O-N-E!! I freaked out and drove there myself, and sure enough the maintenance crew THREW IT AWAY!!! The tree was FULLY decorated and adorned with ornaments that we planned to keep for years and years as a tradition within our family. And now it's all gone, in a dump somewhere, next to dirty diapers and other GARBAGE!!! I am so upset! I stormed into the Funeral Home and DEMANDED to speak to someone.....well, when that "someone" finally appeared, I lost it!!! I tore into him and asked him what gave them the RIGHT to throw my babies' things in the garbage I yelled at him and told him how disrespectful and HEARTLESS it was to toss their things into a dumpster, not even taking into consideration the SENTIMENTAL value of those items. He proceeded to tell me that it was thrown away because it was "seasonal" ***???? WHO CARES???? If I want to leave a Christmas tree in the VASE (which is the rule) ALL YEAR LONG, then who are they to tell me I can't????? And even if they threw it away because it was seasonal, are they too heartless to at least CALL us and let us know that we need to come get the items??? I'm just so torn up over this....I can never replace those *exact* items, just like I can never replace my babies.....it makes me sick inside.....UGHHHHHH!!!! I just wanna diiiiieeeeeee
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February 6th, 2009, 02:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
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Oh no!!! I am so so sorry that happened to you! I can't believe that guy was such an insensitive jerk. You have every right to feel the way you do...just know that we're all thinking of you...
Alexandra Eva is here! Born 1/17/10 at 5:55pm. Weighing in at 6lbs, 8oz and 20 Inches Long!
Secondary Infertility Blog*~*http://onemunchkin.blogspot.com/ *~*

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February 6th, 2009, 02:52 PM
jlk jlk is offline
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OMG, I seriously want to go over and ring that guy's neck for you. How rude and awful!! I am so sorry that has happened to you. I absolutely agree that they should have at least called you to tell you that seasonal items are not allowed outside of the season.

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February 6th, 2009, 02:57 PM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Brandi, I am so sorry they did that. I'm amazed they threw it all out when you'd put so much into it. Anyone should have been able to look at it and know it wasn't meant for the trash.
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February 6th, 2009, 03:23 PM
jmichelle77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry they did that! How thoughtless and disrespectful! ESPECIALLY, for people who are IN THE BUSINESS OF being compassionate to people's losses!! I am so so sorry, Brandi.
Thank you so much AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!!

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February 6th, 2009, 04:34 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry Brandi ((HUGS))

Lucky mother to five!

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February 6th, 2009, 04:48 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry, hon. That's really insensitive of them to do that without calling first. I would be angry too. Vent away.
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February 6th, 2009, 05:24 PM
richmond_girl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Brandi, I am so sorry. There's nothing I can say that will take the pain away. They shouldn't have done that and you have every right to be furious.

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February 6th, 2009, 05:26 PM
JCT2005's Avatar Teddy's Mom
Join Date: Jun 2008
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I'm so sorry! I can't believe how freaking heartless and rude he was.

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February 6th, 2009, 08:16 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
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I just can't believe how incredibly insensitive some people in this world can be! I would be outraged too!!! I"m so sorry about all this happening... nothing we can say will bring you stuff back, or your precious babies for that matter but we ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!!

Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!

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February 6th, 2009, 10:13 PM
Bakin8th's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am in shock!

I hoped by the time I got to the end of your post they had a resonable explanation and a plan of action to compinsate you somehow.

What a disapointment. I am so sorry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
~IRENE~ MOM TO 8 KIDDOES! DS 18, DD 16, DD 14, DD 8, DS 6, DD 4, DS 3 and DS 1

Ttcing #9 After TWO 2nd trimester loss's and FIVE 1st trimester loss's. Missing our 8 ANGEL'S


Kyle (absent) Chelsea, Miki, Hanna, Johna, Sari, Jessiah and Isaiah.

Our 8 Greatly missed Angels
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February 6th, 2009, 10:46 PM
A*LOT*OF*HOPE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Washington
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Im so sorry, I would have Frickin' snapped!! That is so rude!! Who the F*** cares if it is august and you still have a christmas tree there, they are your babies!! I probably would have punched him!!
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February 7th, 2009, 12:05 AM
ZaydensMomma's Avatar Aaron Nicole
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,454
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously that is beyond too much .............. i'm speechless!

I would call the cemetary's company and report the lot to them.. if they have CORPORATE phone number you can report??? Man..that just makes me so sick maintenance crew HAVE THE NERVE to throw away the Christmas tree and ORNAMENTS..... ohhhhhh that is NOT right!

You have every right to vent!!!!

Age 36 with PCOS, poor ovarian reserve (.197), and blocked left fallopian tube.
We are TTC our 2nd blessing baby.
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February 7th, 2009, 06:03 AM
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Thanks girls DH was furious too. We had to drive right by the cemetery last nite on our way to the ILs and I just burst out crying at the thought of my boys' stuff in the garbage It's going to take a while for me to "get over it"....I'm a very sentimental person, and that was just more than I could handle......

Thanks for the support and as always, for letting me vent...you all are wonderful
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