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Having a pity party today

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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December 5th, 2009, 09:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
I'm allowing myself a pity party for today...tomorrow I will buck up and put a smile on my face.


I found out yesterday that a friend of mine (not a close friend) is pregnant and due in June. She hadn't really told many people until recently, and now word is slowly getting out.

The annoying thing is---I had dinner with her and another friend of ours in mid-September and she was saying how she and her hubby don't want kids for a few more yrs, they want to travel, enjoy this time early in their marriage, etc.

OF COURSE SHE IS PREGNANT. She must have gotten pregnant RIGHT after that!

Anyway, I am shocked---I had a Silpada party three wks ago and she was there and she wasn't showing, didn't say a word, etc.

I sent her an email yesterday w/congratulations and she wrote back and said thanks, that she'd been quiet about it b/c she was shocked and needed time to absorb everything..but that she and her DH are now super excited. So that's good....but still...WHY does it happen for people who aren't even TRYING?

And I am really mad, too, because DH and I can't do the JanFeb IVF cycle. My RE's pricing went UP and it's about 4K more than we initially thought! I spoke w/the IVF financial lady yesterday and figured that we would need to put down a deposit of $3000 in the next two weeks, and then pay the remaining $8000 in 2 installments, due by the first week in Jan. Then the meds are another 2K. UGHHHHH. With Christmas, and two 7 yr olds, it just isn't gonna happen! We cannot come up with that in a matter of 4 weeks I *could* go to my parents and ask for a loan, but I hate to do that...I really would rather not.

So...that puts us in the March/April IVF category which is do-able financially...but here's the problem. We go to Grand Cayman every spring break, and this year will be there the 18th of March through the 28th. I don't know where in the IVF cycle I'd be, but I am betting I would be stimming at that point...soooo...I don't know if it would even be a possibility to find an OB down there and get some bloodwork/monitoring? I am going to have to call my RE's office on Monday and give them the dates and see what they think. If that doesn't work, then we are looking at May/June. AUGHHHHH. I can't cancel or reschedule our trip b/c it's planned around our kids' spring break.....plus, it just wouldn't be fair to them. They look forward to this trip every year!
Married with two awesome 7 year olds, we're TTC with unexplained infertility.
Thank you sophiasmomma for my beautiful siggy!
Nov/Dec Follistim cycle = BFP, chemical pregnancy
Dec/Jan TTC naturally after m/c, BFN
Jan 2010 2nd round of Follistim

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December 5th, 2009, 09:51 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
OH, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Pity parties are A-OK here and we're with you every bit of the way! ((HUGS))

I can totally relate to the IVF financial thing. We are still scratching our heads as to where we are going to come up with the $ if we have to go that route. I think that is why I am so desperate to get this IUI cycle going!

As for the timing... I had to take bcp the past 3 weeks because of my RE's office closure (24th-1st). I remember reading on-line to be VERY leary of RE's offices that won't work weekends or holidays, and lo and behold I'm at one (for a few more weeks!) My point is, I was able to manipulate my cycle so I could get an IUI in before they close with bcp's. Unless your RE's office has every batched and on the same schedule, you could actually manipulate your cycle so you don't have to worry about that week with bcp's. They'll probably have you on them anyway, and an extra week or two on them to stave off AF usually doesn't hurt.

Just a thought!

Have a great holiday. Try not to think too much of this setback, as it will happen!
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
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December 5th, 2009, 11:22 AM
momma S's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 837
I have a pity party every month for at least one day! I feel the same way about the people who get pg by accident. I think when we are trying so hard it is impossible to not wonder why it is so easy for others.

We don't have the money for IVF so I am also hoping the IUI works sooner rather than later! I hope you feel better soon and the plans fall into place.
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December 5th, 2009, 11:56 AM
Posts: n/a
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December 5th, 2009, 01:00 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
You go right on and have your pity party... everyone needs one now and again.


Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!

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December 5th, 2009, 01:07 PM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Land of Infertility
Posts: 16,586
Lots of HUGS! I could have written most of what you wrote. I wish this wasn't so hard...
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 41 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
IVF#3/FET#2 (November 2014) Transferred two perfect blasts- First BFP Ever.

BABY BOY- JULY 2015 @ 34 weeks 6 days

Our family is now complete. The End.

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December 5th, 2009, 03:12 PM
barbarella's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 738
Pity parties are absolutely fine. I think it's something that we all need to do. I'm pretty sure we all have them from time to time...I know I do
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December 5th, 2009, 06:44 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
I'm sorry:/
I know how bad it sucks to watch people all around get knocked up when they don't even want to be or even worse, don't deserve it.
It seems like everyone I freakin know is preggo. One is smoking while pregnant, one was unplanned, one does NOT need a baby, one can't afford anothe one, oh, the list goes on & on.Ahh!
Anyway, sorry to vent my own "pity party".
I hope you get better real quick & I hope you get your BFP very speedy!
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December 5th, 2009, 07:10 PM
brynnkelley04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: DeWitt, Michigan
Posts: 3,164
I'm sorry. We all have rough days and it just seems so unfair. I have an employee who just got married in Aug. and got divorce papers in Nov. to try to get her hubby to straighten up and act married. She was talking divorce again on Tuesday and then comes to work on Friday and says I just took a test this morning. I'M PREGNANT. All with a big smile on her face. What is wrong with this world??????? Maybe I'll have a pitty party tomorrow

Brynn 30,
Rich 41, Marcus 11, Gavin 8
~~IVF #4 using Donor Eggs=BFP
~~April 18th 1st U/S=TWINS! Baby A 128bpm Baby B 124bpm

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