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Maybe I shouldn't complain but . . . (depressing rant)


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
December 5th, 2009, 08:02 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I know, I'm pregnant, so I probably shouldn't complain. But a friend of mine just announced her pregnancy, she got a BFP . . . 3 weeks and 6 days after stopping the pill.

I needed Femara and Metformin to get pregnant with my son. Then he was stillborn (for non-infertility reasons). Three months off, I figured Femara would do the trick. 3 cycles. Nothing. So we try IUI with injectibles. We are a litle aggressive with the injectibles. I get severe OHSS and nearly get hospitalized. BFP woohoo! Oh wait it's triplets! Oh wait, they tell me I'm not healthy enough for triplets. Baby B dies. Baby C gets diagnosed with severe Turners, no real chance she'll live. We have to reduce Baby C so I don't go into labor and lose Baby A too. Oh yeah, I've got a blood clot under Baby A, so lots of ER trips there. ALL of this was in the first trimester.

My friend who got pregnant ******* IMMEDIATELY and with no assistance? Picture perfect pregnancy, made it to 12 weeks no problems.

I should be a lot happier for her than I am. I am soooo jealous. She is an awesome gal and deserves happiness without stress or heartbreak, but don't I deserve that too?
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  #2  
December 5th, 2009, 08:09 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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Location: CO
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Oh, Rebecca. Your story has touched my heart from the moment I met you. It has seemed to be challenging every step of the way and I am so sorry you've had to experience such painful situations. You are one strong lady!

I hear you on the whole fertile friend thing. I seem to be surrounded by them now. Even the gals on my PR are just getting preggo left and right, so I just can't seem to check in there any more. It doesn't seem fair that so many of us work so hard to get that magical BFP, and others just don't even care or try.

((HUGS)). You know we are here for you to vent away!

By the by, how are you feeling? Any fun baby bump photos you can post for us We're rooting for you and a healthy 22+ weeks!
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  #3  
December 5th, 2009, 08:37 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I have been shy about the bump photos because I was a big girl anyway and I am as big as house, but when DH finally gets me to take one I'll post it!

All of my friends got pregnant so easily, I just can't wrap my mind around deciding to start a family and being pregnant 3 weeks later!

ETA: I mean, I had to get OUTSIDE parties involved! One day this baby is going to ask the time honored "where do babies come from" question, and if I'm being honest, my answer will have to be "From Dr. Weinstein's office!"
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Last edited by rebeccabaltimore and more; December 5th, 2009 at 08:41 PM.
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  #4  
December 5th, 2009, 08:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,292
(((HUGS)))

I know how hard it is. Well--I don't know exactly, as I am not in your shoes, but I can sure relate to that feeling of jealousy of another's pregnancy, even when the other personis someone we are close to and care about!

My cousin and his wife just had their first baby. I am close to both of them--will probably ask my cousin to be a godfather to our baby Anyway, they will be fabulous parents, and I'm super happy for them---but I am JEALOUS at the same time. They emailed a bunch of pics of their newborn son and I could feel myself turning green. My heart literally aches for that again.

You definitely do NOT deserve the road you've traveled. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Ethan and the loss of two of your precious triplets. I don't know why life is like this, but it's certainly true that "bad things happen to good people" all the time. Personally, I just try to hold onto my faith and trust that there IS a reason for everything, even though we can't see it at the time--and we may NEVER know the reason.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and uneventful and that you are able to enjoy every minute of it!
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  #5  
December 6th, 2009, 06:38 AM
Oriyan's Avatar Platinum Superdupermommy
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(((Hugs)))

To make you laugh and smile, i had planned on telling my son he came from a petridish. Our RE office gave us the dish he was "made" in. I have it in his scrapbook.

I get annoyed with people who get pregnant on accident and were not even trying or don't even have a support system. Bothers me. *hugs*
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  #6  
December 6th, 2009, 08:05 AM
Angel_Maker
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I can definitely relate.....I'm sorry

Think of it this way, God chose us to go down this road because He knows that we're strong enough to handle it. Everytime I hear about someone accidentally getting pregnant, I tell myself "God knows I'm stronger than they are". It's not much, but it has helped
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  #7  
December 6th, 2009, 08:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Asher_n_Noah_n_Tres View Post
Think of it this way, God chose us to go down this road because He knows that we're strong enough to handle it. Everytime I hear about someone accidentally getting pregnant, I tell myself "God knows I'm stronger than they are". It's not much, but it has helped
This is exactly what I tell myself too!

Our best friends got pregnant one month off the pill as well. I'm happy for her. I would never wish anyone to have to go through what I have, or we all have been through. But it doesn't make it any easier either.
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  #8  
December 6th, 2009, 12:07 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Oh, Rebecca, you have every right to complain!! You have been through more than anyone should ever have to go through, and pregnancy doesn't take away the years of hurt that you have endured already. ((((HUGS)))) I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly, and I can't wait to see those belly pics! I bet you look fabulous!
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  #9  
December 6th, 2009, 08:38 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
Oh man, I know what you mean. I'm pregnant, but every announcement just makes me so freakin' jealous. I know no one deserves the road that you and I have gone down, but man it's infuriating when people just "get pregnant" so easily and I've had to struggle every single step of the way.
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  #10  
December 7th, 2009, 09:15 AM
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I just wanted to say, although I have had my beautiful boys now, I too get jealous when someone just gets pregnant so easy or without trying. I can't help it. I get jealous that I had to spend my whole savings to have something that others don't have to spend a dime to get. It's not like I want others to have problems too, it's just that it kind of hurts and it never really goes away, it will always be there to remind you of the path you've been down. I think it makes us all stonger though.
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"Victory is sweetest when you have known defeat" ~Malcolm Forbes

IUI #1 - Nov 07 = BFN, IUI #2 - Dec 07 = BFN
IVF #1 - Apr 08 = BFN
IVF #2 - Nov 18
Dec 2 - Beta 1: 198!! Dec 4 - Beta 2: 660!!
Dec 15 - 1st U/S - We're having twins!!!
Dec 23 - 2nd U/S - Surprise it's triplets!!!
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  #11  
December 7th, 2009, 03:57 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am also still very jealous, three kids later. I'm also still mourning my inability to get pg easily. I've been TTC since April 04, most of it TTCMA, one m/c, one term DS, two adopted babies, and my heart still breaks inside a bit each time I see somebody else's bfp, maybe all these years of bfn's will finally wear out and I'll be happy to see another bfp for somebody else one day? I am now on month 37 of TTC #2 since DS1 was born, I'm not even sure that I want a 4th child now, but its still heartbreaking, kwim?
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