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Does anyone else think this is unfair!

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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December 18th, 2009, 12:16 PM
jamie7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
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I don't know if you have talked about this before on here but I just need to vent. I work at a jail as an inmate couselor/social worker and it just breaks my heart to deal with some of these peole. I might be to emotional these days because of TTC everything just gets to me. I have to set up visits with inmates and their children who are with DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) and I just think how unfair! My DH and I as well as all of you ladies would be great parents and we are having trouble getting preggo. These inmates are in and out of here non stop and really don't care about their kids. I have mothers come in that are pregnant and using drugs, and mothers who come in and want to have an abortion, fathers who have never been in their childs life. It rips me apart inside. Here it is the holidays and these poor kids are coming to visit their moms and dads in jail and should be having the holiday that they deserve filled with love and family!

Sorry I'm done now I just had to get that out, there is no one I can talk to at work about it!


Last edited by jamie7; December 18th, 2009 at 12:31 PM.
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December 18th, 2009, 01:14 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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HUGS.... It is always hard to see situations like these.... It is even worse when you know.. How bad you want it... and how much that child if you were blessed with.. would be loved, cherrished and honored... And yet you don't have it, why? I feel my self asking why... way to much over the last year +.... Hugs for all times you have to see these Children go through this.. and also what you have to go through. HUGS, HUGS, HUGS

Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!

BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
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December 18th, 2009, 01:21 PM
momma S's Avatar Super Mommy
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Couldn't agree with you more. I would have a very hard time seeing that right now. I often wonder why the bad moms can get pg and the ones that would be the best moms stuggle the most to be one.
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December 18th, 2009, 01:29 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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I think about this a lot...every time I turn on the news it seems like another parent is beating their child or neglecting them, and it just doesn't seem right at all. I feel so sorry for those kids...they don't deserve the circumstances they were born into. I don't understand why this happens; every child deserves to be loved.

Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

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December 18th, 2009, 01:43 PM
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I totally agree....I work in an inner city school and the parents of my kids are either dead (violent crime or AIDS), in jail, or totally uninvolved. They all have SEVERAL kids by SEVERAL different men, are on every kind of government assistance, their kids get free breakfast, free lunch, and free dinner provided by the school and yet their parents pick them up in Chrysler 300s and Lincoln Navigators

One of the 12 year olds in my class told me the other day that his mother has NEV-ER told him she loved him!!! IN TWELVE YEARS????????? It makes me sick.....ugh!
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December 18th, 2009, 02:49 PM
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Oh man....I have been there! I work at two schools (fairly poor schools) as a school psychologist. which means that I have seen a lot: abused kids, neglected kids, unwanted kids...you name it.

I remember sitting with a parent that I did not care for while she was telling me about how angry she was that she was pregnant for the 4th time. I was on the verge of tears because I just got my beta results that day and they were a big fat zero.

It is so unfair and I don't know why these things happen. I like to think that there is some grand plan or scheme that we just don't understand. It was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I can't help you feel better-but please know that I completely empathize with your feelings and still deal with them myself.
Alexandra Eva is here! Born 1/17/10 at 5:55pm. Weighing in at 6lbs, 8oz and 20 Inches Long!
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December 18th, 2009, 03:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Oh man. I think we all relate to you on this one! It is hard when it's "in your face" like this on a daily basis.

It just doesn't seem fair or right. I believe in God and a bigger plan but WOW....sometimes I just don't understand WHY things happen the way they do.

I'm having a hard time now because my stepson's mom is pregnant for the 3rd time. UGH. She smokes and didn't stop during her last pregnancy, so I am sure she hasn't now, either. She drank the last time, too, but has since gotten into AA and no longer drinks....but it makes me SICK that she behaves like that and then here she is having her THIRD unplanned child.

What kills me is---DH and I started TTC two years ago, right when she had her baby girl and here we are, two yrs later, we have had 1 miscarriage, and she's pregnant AGAIN.

I picked my stepson up from school the other day and he got in the car and the first thing he said was "My mom found out she's having another girl and she's really sad b/c she wanted a boy."

I wanted to SCREAM. I would give ANYTHING to have a healthy baby, boy, girl, I don't care!!!!

I'm sorry you have to see such awful stuff on a regular basis. I hope you get your very soon!
Married with two awesome 7 year olds, we're TTC with unexplained infertility.
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December 18th, 2009, 05:23 PM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by Mommy2Asher_n_Noah_n_Tres View Post

One of the 12 year olds in my class told me the other day that his mother has NEV-ER told him she loved him!!! IN TWELVE YEARS????????? It makes me sick.....ugh!
This is actually something that I can relate to and is not as bad as you think. We are not a very close knit family.....and I have never heard my parents tell me they love me and I have never said it to them as far as I can remember. They show their love with money.....my parents are not really the affectionate kind, but we grew up middle class. It actually doesn't bother me because it is something I'm use to....I have no doubt that they love me, they treated us kids great and still do to this day! I don't hold that against them.....my mom grew up with her mother being very unaffectionate towards her and I'm not really sure about my dad's childhood.

My husband on the otherhand, had to groom me because his family is very very affectionate which was very new to me....I can't go to his families houses without hugging and 'I love U' getting thrown around.

It may be shocking to some, but if that is how you are raised....you don't really think twice about it. The first time I had actually thought about my parents saying I love you was when me and my husband got together because I was so overwhelmed by all the affection by his family. I had never even thought about it growing up.....it was never an issue or bothersome. It's a way of life for some of us.
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December 18th, 2009, 10:02 PM
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KDD KDD is offline
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My family is a lot like yours Lee Ann. We're not very affectionate either. But I always know that I am loved.

Jamie that must be really hard to see day in and day out. I know that when I had my m/c I was really mad at the irony of the world that I would lose my baby - when I ate right, didn't do drugs, etc - and drug addicts are able to carry to term.
Missing our Angel since April 11, 2008
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December 19th, 2009, 05:05 AM
jamie7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies! It makes me feel better that I'm not alone on this!

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