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etiquette question - about switching REs

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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February 20th, 2010, 06:06 PM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Posts: 1,974
So after talking to my RE yesterday on the phone, he really just rubbed me the wrong way and came across as condescending and callous. Didn't seem to care at all about my concerns, and when he told me I was a) not pregnant, and b) couldn't try this month because of a cyst, he was like "oh well, we'll just get you pregnant in a couple months." Um... first, I want a full recap of why he thinks I didn't get pregnant THIS month. But no, nothing. And second, how insensitive can you be?! As if a failed cycle and a month of sitting around doing nothing is not at all troublesome for me... I just feel like he doesn't GET it. Because I'm not a 40 year old who's been trying to get pg for 10 years, somehow I'm just not worth the effort, or my concerns about not getting pg are totally baseless. Yes, I'm 28, and yes we have male factor IF... but still, I'm NOT pregnant, he can't tell me why, and he doesn't seem to care that I'd at least like to have a discussion where he doesn't pass it all off as if its nothing.

So anyway, here's my predicament. The clinic I'm currently going to is the closest to school and to work. It's the ONLY way that TTC hasn't totally interfered with my life - because I can usually just barely get to class on time, so I usually don't miss much after my appointments. For geography, I want to stay at that clinic. There are 3 other clinics in the Twin Cities area, but they would all be a huge pain in the butt to get to, and I feel like the extra commute, and additional lateness and absence from class would just be more stressful. So ideally I'd like to stay at the same clinic. There are 4 REs at this clinic... so.... what's the rule about switching REs within the same clinic? I'm the kind of person who loyally goes to the same hairdresser every time because I feel like I'm cheating if I don't! I would really like to consult with the female RE at the clinic, to see if maybe she'd be a little more compassionate. So... any advice on what I should do? If you think I should consult with other REs at the same clinic, how do I do that tactfully?
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February 20th, 2010, 07:03 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 2,585
My RE clinic has 2 diffrent REs, a male and female. I was OK with the female till we found DH's translocation after I fought with her for 3 months to do the genetic testing on us. After we found the biggest issue she just said "We should have tested long ago." I wanted to slap her. Then she was all doom and gloom about the translocation. Saying that if we did get pregnant the child would be mentally or physically challenged. She wanted us in the next IVF group or do IUI with donor sperm. All this before us seeing a geneticist.

After that she left a sour taste in my, so I'd just request the other RE.

made by BAM

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February 20th, 2010, 07:05 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 7,986
I would just make an appt with the RE you want to see, and if they ask why you dont want to see the RE you normally do just say you didnt feel that he was the best match for you. Tell them he was too conservative and you want an aggressive doctor.

I'm sure you wont be the first person that switched to one of the other RE's =)

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February 20th, 2010, 08:15 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
I don't think it's out of the question to get a second opinion. It's your body, your money and your future.

Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!

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