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How do I handle this? Any advice?

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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October 4th, 2010, 10:51 AM
Jenn in DC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 1,042
This coming weekend, DH and I are going away to a cabin for three nights with some friends. This past Friday, these friends came over so that we could make plans for the trip and announced that they were 7 weeks pregnant.

I am very happy for them and was so excited when they told me. I knew that they were going to start TTC soon so I was somewhat expecting to hear this someday (maybe just not this soon though - they got PG their first month of trying). I was fine the night that they were visiting but woke up the next morning feeling really sad and couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she got pg so easily. I ended up breaking down and crying a lot on Saturday. That finally passed but since then I've just been really crabby.

I was pretty surprised by my reaction to this news and am now worried about spending three days with them next weekend. She's only told a few people that she is pg and so I know that she is dying to talk more about it. I'm trying to figure out how to prepare myself so that I can be a good supportive friend and not be miserable for the entire weekend.

Any advice for handling this?
My History
Started TTC #1 July 2009
Three IUIs - BFNs
IVF - Cycle Cancelled
Three Rounds of Mini-IVF = 5 frozen embryos
July 2011 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP and then miscarriage
November 2011 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP!! Aven Born on August 4, 2012

July 2014 - Got Pregnant Naturally with Twins! Miscarriage at 9 weeks.
November 2014 - Single Frozen Embryo Transfer. BFP!

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October 4th, 2010, 11:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: MD
Posts: 1,775
Oh Jenn! I'm cringing for you because I have been there and it didn't feel good. We had been TTC for numerous months when DH's best friend and his wife announced they were pregnant (on the first try of course). And while I was so excited for them, all I wanted to do was cry. Honestly, I think you'll surprise yourself... now that you've gotten over the shock and had a much deserved pity party I bet you'll handle your trip with them with nothing but grace. Does she know of all of your trials and tribulations TTC? If not and you are close friends then I would think about letting her in - it may even be nice to chat with someone about it. Not to mention if she knew, I doubt she would be overly chatty about how easy it was to get pregnant or about baby names, etc. DH and I didn't tell a soul when we were TTC DS because I knew it would take awhile - this time around I told my best friend, and I have to tell you it feels good sharing my woes with someone other than DH. Hope this helps. Hang in there sweetie!

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October 4th, 2010, 12:03 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
I'm so sorry Jen, hearing news like this, while really exciting for your friends, makes you feel sad for yourself. That is just normal.

I think you will be surprised by yourself too. You are a strong person and while it might be hard, you'll be able to support your friend, I have no doubt.

Does this friend know about your TTC struggles? If not, and you are comfortable with it, maybe this would be a good time to share those struggles. The support from your friends is worth a million bucks! It makes the process so much easier, and I know for a fact that my friends are much more sensitive about tell me news like this because they know. I appreciate it that so much.

I hope that you have a great weekend with friends!

Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!

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October 4th, 2010, 02:41 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
I agree with above.
I think it will just come natural to be happy for her & show it.
I would also let her into your TTC struggles if she doesn't already know.
Plus, if she does already know, then more than likely, she won't gush about it the whole time.
Good luck, hun! Try to relax & have fun!
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October 4th, 2010, 03:05 PM
Dóchas's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Ireland
Posts: 6,129
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I think now that the shock is over you will be ok. I know it will still hurt but I'm sure you will get through it.
I have spoken to my friends about our problem ttc and really dose help. While we have been ttc I have had 4 good friends get pregnant & have babies & yes I felt just like you but once it sunk in they I really was happy for them that they did not have to go through all that we have had to.

If you are very close than maybe think about telling her about you & ttc.
Good Luck sweety & remember we are here for you to vent and cry to and never feel bad for your feeling believe me "We have all been there"


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October 4th, 2010, 03:12 PM
~Lynda~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 7,264
oh dear, that is a tough spot to be in. she is going to want to talk about it. i don't know what to tell you cause i've been there and my time with my friend was pretty much difficult for lack of a better word. i just kept telling myself it would be me one day! helped a little. hugs

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October 4th, 2010, 05:05 PM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
I agree with all the other ladies. I know it has to be so hard, ive had to go through it a few times at work and i dread the day i will have to do it with a close friend( eventhough i know i will be happy for them).

** Thank you Oona for the awesome siggy**
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