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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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April 1st, 2011, 01:29 PM
txjovigal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX
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at least with the agency we have been working with.

They don't like our pool fence and wont approve us without us redoing. Which we won't do, because thier reasoning makes no sense and I think its just an excuse. They are the only agency that requires it (a fence that is only required by this agency not Texas Law, we meet all state requirements) and we feel we have bent over backwards to please them, spent $1000 to put this fence up for nothing. And what's worse is their reasoning makes no sense. We used lattice wood for the fence and our adoption specialist tells us, well a kid can climb it, you should have used a chain link, it's sturdier. WHAT... Chain link is easier to climb!

Then I got the email, earlier this week that basically told us that we needed to redo the fence again or find another agency. But, while she was at our house she tessls she doesn't want to lose us as a family.

What I am figuring is we didn't get approved because of our pool. And what really upsets us is that I asked her back in October to let us know if the pool was going to be an issue because if it was then we could go somewhere else and she said that once we built the fence we would be ok. We build a sturdy fence and this is what we get.

Right now I am so heartbroken, its just another slap in the face after dealing with all Fertility treatments. It makes no sense that we WANT A CHILD more than anything and that someone else's wants are stopping us. My adoption specialist's boss hates pools.

I thought about talking to the director of the center but what's the point... lets say he moves us forward anyway, then our adoption specialist and her boss would still be involved and I could see any little thing that happen being written up on a report. And I would hate even more to get a kid and then 6 months down the line they say no to the adoption... That's just not worth it the risk.


Whats worse is that in the email, our adoption specialist tells us that if we want to go to another agency she recommends a certain one. I go to the website and its a PRIVATE ADOPTION one where it would cost over $30K to adopt. If I had that money in the first place don't you think I would have done that first instead of going to a State one!

I am just so HEARTBROKEN!

I am taking some time away from this and looking for a new agency.
Esmy & Tony
~*~ TTC since 12/02 ~*~

working on my 3rd, for sure by 11/15/11
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April 1st, 2011, 02:38 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
Esmy... My heart is breaking for you right now. I'm angry that they seem to have totally misled you and are treating you this way.

I really hope that after taking some time away from this whole mess you can focus on finding some where else you can pursue your adoption dreams.

Hang in there hun...

Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!

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April 1st, 2011, 06:10 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
Oh Esmy, I am so sorry, what a circus.
You're in my thoughts and prayers for a speedy resolution, whatever gets you your LO fastest ((hugs))

Lucky mother to five!

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April 5th, 2011, 06:59 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 976
Esmy, I am so sorry! How heartbreaking!! And you have wasted so much time and effort on this agency! I hope that your time away provides a much needed break. And I hope that you are able to locate another agency who will work with you!
~Tracey (42), mom to Reagan(born 08/07/11)

3 failed fresh IVFs, 1 failed FET
Surprise BFP in 12/10 after acupuncture & herbs!!
1 beautiful, perfect daughterl!

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May 3rd, 2011, 08:46 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 7,986
Im so sorry!

After Bryar was born we started back up with trying to get approved to foster adopt....we had numerous social workers in our house...one even looked at the bedrooms and said it was fine. fast forward a few months they say we cant be approved because the kid bedrooms are loft style...one big room split in two with a wall and a door..you walk up the stairs..boom you are in the first room...walk thru that room..get to the door...there is the next room....they said that its against regulation to have a room that requires you to walk through another room ....and so we were disqualified...total BS!!!

our agency was against pools too..actually all of them were...they said not to ever get one because it was a lot of trouble to get them passed inspection.

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