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Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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April 21st, 2011, 07:48 AM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
I think i have told you ladies before about the bookclub im in with some friends and how 4 of them are currently pregnant.Its been so hard to be around them because of that. I always had the comfort of knowing one of the girls( who i have become very close to) was having the same TTC difficulties as me. She called me last night to tell me her first IUI worked and that she is now pregnant. I am so happy for her! But i just cant help feel so left behind. Its like i lost my one " real life" person to connect to about this. I cried for a long time last night, not because im upset with her becoming pregnant cause it does give me a bit of hope, but because i really just feel alone. DH wont go further with any more MA right now. He says we dont have the money and that its not a good idea to be in debt and then having a baby. He even got mad at me yesterday saying he was sick of talking about this whole thing. I think my body has given up just like me cause ive stopped ovulating the past few months. Is there any hope?

** Thank you Oona for the awesome siggy**
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April 21st, 2011, 08:28 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,949
My heart breaks just reading this. I know this feeling allll too well. I have told a few of you here before, but 3 or 4 years ago I was teaching preschool with a bunch of other women about my age, a little older...
I was ttc, none of them were because they all had one child at the preschool around 2 years of age. I already felt out of the club because of that...We tried for a year (with everyone knowing) with no success, out of the blue I finally got pg. I was finally "in" all my friends were so excited they all got pg too. I ended up loosing that pregnancy and they all carried to term. All 5 of them. It was devastating...

I am so sorry... I really hope you starting O'ing at home on your own until you can save up for TTC w/MA!!
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April 21st, 2011, 09:27 AM
Posts: n/a
I'm sorry you have to go through this, and yes, there is ALWAYS hope.

I can kind of relate to how you are feeling. I had one friend who was TTC the entire first year that I was and we talked about our struggles all the time. Well, she is now 28 weeks pregnant and I am still TTC and when I did conceive back in late December, we lost the baby . Also , ALL of my friends either have 2 kids or their second on the way. I feel like we are being left in the dust. Alot of my friends who had just given birth when we started TTC are now pregnant again...we are being lapped. I feel like a loser
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April 21st, 2011, 11:47 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 976
I am so sorry Holly. I have been in a similar situation and I know how horrible it feels.

I hope that your DH will come around and realize that you need to feel like you can talk about it with him. There were a couple of times in the beginning of my MA that I drove DH crazy talking about my feelings. Please know that you have your TTCMA ladies that are always here for you.
~Tracey (42), mom to Reagan(born 08/07/11)

3 failed fresh IVFs, 1 failed FET
Surprise BFP in 12/10 after acupuncture & herbs!!
1 beautiful, perfect daughterl!

Last edited by ttb1105; April 21st, 2011 at 11:51 AM.
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April 21st, 2011, 12:03 PM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,973
I'm really sorry, I know this feeling all too well - with people all around you getting pregnant. I'm sorry that you lost your one RL person to connect with on this too.

Have you tried any natural supplements? They aren't for everyone but have done wonders for me and you said money was an issue, so I thought that might be a less expensive alternative to try since you're not ovulating on your own anymore.
TTC #1:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
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April 21st, 2011, 02:43 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NY Baby!
Posts: 639
i think we all feel like this at times; it will pass but it is hard when you are around your friends from the book club a lot ; there is most definitely hope for you and please try to keep your chin up; try to have a plan in place for next month, even if it does not involve spending enormous amounts of $; even if you maybe start acupuncture or something simple w proven benefits
acgka; ALI

Married May 2010
TTC since August 2010, almost a year
IUI in December 2010 - BFP - chemical
IUI on 3/13/11 - BFN
April natural cycle - BFP on 4/22 - chemical confirmed 4/28
IUI done on 5/12 - BFN

IUI #4 done 6/6 - BFN
so sick of getting BFNs

total of 4 failed IUIs
IVF in July

using acupuncture 1x week, Royal Jelly, pre natals, organic Spirulina, Maca Root and Red Raspberry tea
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April 21st, 2011, 03:28 PM
WrightWife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,493
awwww Holly I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. I think each one of us knows how you feel on some level. I know there is not much I can say to make it better, but know that we are all here for you.

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April 21st, 2011, 03:37 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Japan
Posts: 4,016
Hugs sweetie..i have been there! I know its tough its heartbreaking..you want so bad to be so excited for them..but your sad for you..its totally understandable! it hurts..hang in there hun..i know easier said then done..but remember there is hope! BIG HUGS!
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April 21st, 2011, 05:04 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,854
*hugs* I'm so sorry. We've had to save for years to be able to move on with MA as well, I hope you cna get your bfp soon

My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

IVF referral in= 7/2017
RE Appt #1- 8/22/2017- doctor swears I don't have PCOS or RPL, go VEGAN to cure all
RE Appt #2- 8/24/2017- sono shows clear cysts, high afc, all bloodwork comes back PCOS typical

PAUSED UNTIL JANUARY 2018 to find a new IVF clinic

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April 21st, 2011, 07:52 PM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
You ladies are awesome! Thank you so much for making me feel better. I knew you all woube super understanding.

Jacquie: I've been trying soy and fertiltea geritol and lemon water. So far no luck. My temps have been super low. Usually pre o temps in the 97 and recently they have been in the 95 which is odd

** Thank you Oona for the awesome siggy**
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April 21st, 2011, 09:38 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Lafayette, California
Posts: 10,512
I'm so sorry. People who started trying after us already have babies. It totally stinks, but there is always hope. I know a couple people irl who tried for years and ended up with babies naturally. Both women i am thinking of have 2 kids now. I hope it happens on soon. ((hugs))
Enzo Alexander, Born June 15th 2008, 6lbs 1oz, 20

Thank you Sara (misfitinmn) for my awesome siggy!

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April 21st, 2011, 11:14 PM
TTC #1 with PCOS
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Urbana, OH
Posts: 47
I am sorry too. I know how you feel also. We've been TTC since august 2010 and I finally started clomid this month. The first day I started taking it...I was informed I was going to be an aunt again. My husband's brother and his wife are expecting #2 (#1 will turn 1yo may 16th). I was out of town at my mom's when hubby called me with the news. I kept it together until I got off the phone and then I lost it. I cried for a while with my mom conforting me. I also feel left in the dust... And your hubby will come around. Mine is the same way sometimes. Its a touchy subject for him because he is taking it harder than me. He had no idea it could be so difficult. I wish you the best. Tons of baby dust!
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April 22nd, 2011, 07:36 AM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
I hope he will come around. Its wierd cause he doesnt take it hard at all. He is so laid back about the whole thing that he doesnt think anythings that wrong sometimes. I know he does care and he is prolly just trying to be strong by not showing it but it really gets frustrating.
We are taking this cycle off of meds and then i think ill go back to the clomid next cycle. It will be my 6th cycle of clomid. Not sure if i should do the 100 or 150?

** Thank you Oona for the awesome siggy**
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April 22nd, 2011, 11:01 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
Im so sorry I know EXACTLY how you feel. My ONLY "real life" person that I connected with got pregnant a couple months after her wedding, and now she is 6 months pregnant. Its really really hard, I connected with her because she had miscarriages before and she was the only person I know/knew IRL that had any fertilty issues whatsoever. Now I know NO ONE, its so tough. And it really makes you feel disconnected and like no one knows what your going through and that you are in such a different place in your life that you dont want anything to do with those "normal" people. At least thats how I've come to feel. Im sorry that your husband feels you need to take a break/be done with MA, I also know how that feels but im the one who feels that way. I just really cant wrap my head around putting us in such debt to bring a baby in the world where you need more financial stability than ever before, im also scared of moving forward and failing.

I really hope your DH comes around and you guys can continue with MA, I know how incredibly tough this process is...it can break you Were always here for you though.
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW

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