Log In Sign Up

Do your parents know?


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 26th, 2011, 11:10 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
Does your mom & dad (Or just mom, or just dad) know about the struggles you are going through with infertility?
__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 26th, 2011, 12:05 PM
wishfulgal
Guest
Posts: n/a
My parents both know and so do DH's. At this point nobody who knows DH and I would would ever believe that we wouldn't want to at the very least be pregnant again by now, and I'm sure almost everyone expected us to have another baby at this point. I told my mom we were trying after only a few months...I just had a feeling something was wrong. We told DH's parents b/c they made me cry one time by pestering us about "giving them another grandchild"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 26th, 2011, 12:10 PM
KMH KMH is offline
TTCMA Cheer Captain
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: right of center
Posts: 19,318
My Mom knew all along...I talk to her about everything. She didn't have any experience with infertility, but was supportive and wonderful. Both times my sister called to tell me she was pregnant, my Mom called right after to try and comfort me. She was as supportive as someone can possible be who hasn't actually been thru it. My Dad knew, but my Mom was the one I called when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

This time around we haven't decided what to do. Will we be open about our FET, or just try to keep it under the radar? I am torn right now.
__________________


Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 26th, 2011, 12:55 PM
LindseyMarie's Avatar Professionally Awesome
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 11,665
Pretty much everyone knows
__________________



After years of trying, 2 years of fertility meds, multiple surgeries, blood draws and needle sticks, some awful pre-IVF complications, and endometriosis and PCOS,
We are done TTC. Praying for peace as we accept this...
Hoping for some comfort after our most recent (and 3rd) surgery and starting Lupron!






Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 26th, 2011, 01:33 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
Unfortunately when you've had recurrent losses and get too excited and tell everyone then more people know than you want to. My mom, stepdad, grandma, one aunt, and sister know. I hate that they all know because I HATE feeling like they pity me
__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 26th, 2011, 01:46 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,854
My mom knows a lot, but not everything. Not sure what my dad knows. my inlaws know a wee bit. We've kept it pretty quiet because while our family would be supportive, they are also a bunch of idiots and say things like "It'll happen in God's time" or "relax and it'll happen".
__________________

My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

IVF referral in= 7/2017
RE Appt #1- 8/22/2017- doctor swears I don't have PCOS or RPL, go VEGAN to cure all
RE Appt #2- 8/24/2017- sono shows clear cysts, high afc, all bloodwork comes back PCOS typical

PAUSED UNTIL JANUARY 2018 to find a new IVF clinic







Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 26th, 2011, 02:14 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 5,620
My mom knew we were trying before she passed away. She was so excited about grandbabies but sadly passed away before I ever conceived. My dad knew through my mom before she passed and then I only told him when I did finally get pregnant. This time around, he knows we are trying and the basics but no details. Not that I'm purposely withholding info from him, it's just kind of weird to talk about that with him. Dh's mom doesn't really know but that's because we don't see/talk to her very often.

Otherwise, it's not really a secret, so anyone who wants to know can know.
__________________
Mommy to Noah (4.5) and Emilee (2.5)

Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 26th, 2011, 02:45 PM
HaveFaith's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 986
My Mama knows a little. DH's parents know nothing! I am a very private person though, and just keep it to myself mostly.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 26th, 2011, 02:52 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 94
My mother in law knows, but I haven't discussed it at all with my parents. My in laws are more baby-focused and love big families, whereas my family of origin thinks 1-2 kids is ideal. I think I will just tell them when we finally get pregnant.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 26th, 2011, 03:04 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Yes, they do. DH's parents know that we're having trouble but they don't know everything about treatment.
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 26th, 2011, 03:16 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 845
My parents are both in heaven now. We haven't told my in-laws anything, and I am not sure we will. They may have guessed by now though, since we've been married for almost 5 years. We are very private people, so we really don't talk about it with anyone.
__________________
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:9










TTC on our own for over 2 years
Dx with Severe MFI- Blood work shows no Microdeletion and no CF mutations

Ultrasound scheduled 3/22- DONE! Everything looks normal, other than some cysts on my right ovary.
HSG scheduled 4/14- DONE! Tubes are clear!!
On BCP until our IVF w/ICSI scheduled for August!!!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 26th, 2011, 06:01 PM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
Both my parents and in laws know. All of DH's extended family knows because someone( my MIL) spread it all around. I feel the same way you do Ashley, i didnt want them to know because i didnt want them to look at me any different.
My mom is the best out of everyone eventhough sometimes she still thinks being stress free would help. That can get to me sometimes, but i know she is just trying to help.
__________________

** Thank you Oona for the awesome siggy**
Reply With Quote
  #13  
April 26th, 2011, 06:22 PM
Working mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Moreno Valley, CA
Posts: 409
My Mom knows but knows not to ask too many questions, just let me share. My in laws were told because they were pestering for another grandchild and I couldn't take it anymore. They never ask questions but do help babysit when we need to go in for procedures. My sister-in-law knows and is good to talk to but has no idea what I'm going through (she just delivered #2). Some friends at work know.

But I don't know ANYONE that has been through this. Which is exactly why I joined this board!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
April 26th, 2011, 06:51 PM
A*LOT*OF*HOPE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 2,689
My mom knows everything....maybe to much...lol!! She knows when AF starts, when I am o'ing....LOL I need somebody to talk to about it, an my mom and I are very close. I honestly don't know what I would do without my moms support. My dad knows we are having problems, but my neither my mom or I fill him in on the details. It's better if he doesn't know everything, he wouldn't get all the infertility stuff anyways....LOL. DH's family knows as well.....well actually most people know. I am very very open, it helps me to talk about it.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 27th, 2011, 07:46 AM
jesridge's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,455
We told both our parents. Some grandparents know. Actually most of our families know, and our friends have figured out that we're trying. The friends do a fantastic job of leaving us alone about it and letting us tell them whenever we have news... the families, not so much.

DH's mom and my mom both ask frequently "when are we going to have some news?" They know when we get procedures like IUIs done and stuff. I try to tell them that no news is bad news, but they are still antsy to find stuff out. At least they care, I guess.
__________________
~Jes~
& Rowan!

Born 12/30/11 and absolutely perfect!

Reply With Quote
  #16  
April 27th, 2011, 08:17 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,621
They "know' but they don't really understand, and I haven't been keeping them updated. They know nothing of this last pregnancy and loss. I used to tell them everything, but they don't get it, and I can't take their insensitive remarks, especially since I know they don't mean to insensitive, they just don't understand. My sister and I were both unplanned (I think it was more NTNP), and my mother never had a loss.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #17  
April 27th, 2011, 10:16 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
My mom knows, but I don't know if she shared with my dad. DH's parents don't know any of it.
__________________



Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #18  
April 27th, 2011, 10:21 AM
Oriyan's Avatar Platinum Superdupermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,467
Yep most everyone knows in my family as do my friends. I never hid the fact that we did IVF.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
April 27th, 2011, 05:50 PM
aogilvie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 601
Pretty much everyone knows for us as well. I'm also really open and it helps me to talk about it and not hide anything. Doing that is very normalizing for me in an otherwise very overwhelming situation. My mom and I are really close, as well as my dad, and I tell them both everything. I also am really open with my mother-in-law although not quite in the same way. I even talk to my father-in-law about it all when I talk to him. There all in for it when they talk to me!!!
__________________
Ana-31 DH-32
TTC #1 with Endometriosis & Antiphospholipid Syndrome since December 2008
Dec 2008 - April 2010 #17 Natural cycles
May 2010 - IUI + clomid 50mg BFN
June 2010 - IUI + clomid 50mg BFN
July 2010 - IUI + clomid 100mg BFN
Sept/OC 2010 - IVF #1 (1 embryo transfered; none to freeze) BFP!!!
Oct 25 2010 - First ultrasound at 6.5 weeks TWO HEARTBEATS!!! The embryo split; we're having identical twins!!!
Nov 30 2010 - Ultrasound at 11 weeks; no heartbeats & no growth past 9 weeks
Dec 2 - D&C#1
Dec 7 2010 - D&C#2
Dec 22 2010 through current - Weekly acupuncture treatment
May/June 2011 - IVF#2 with acupuncture (1 embryo transferred; 4 embies on ice!!!) BFP!!!
June 29 2011 - First ultrasound at 7.0 weeks. Everything looks great so far!

July 18, 2011 - Second ultrasound at 9.5 weeks. Baby is doing great!

Feb 10 2012 - Molly Eileen arrived at 7lbs 11oz and 19inches!!!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
April 29th, 2011, 12:49 AM
TTC #1 with PCOS
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Urbana, OH
Posts: 47
All of our immediate family knows but my mom is the only one that knows ALL the details, but she still gives me the relax it'll happen speech everytime I get upset. I tried talking to DH mom about it but she kept telling me to relax and all the bull.It gets old because she never had an problems with all 4 of her children so she has no idea. They do know I am on Clomid but they haven't asked any details because DH's brother and his wife are expecting so all the attention is directed toward their pregnancy.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:04 PM.