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I have to take a break, I wish you all much luck.

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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May 14th, 2011, 11:51 PM
Joliving4Jesus's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 4,337
I've pretty much had it with infertility....I allowed myself to get my hopes up once again this month, I normally spot 1-2 days before af is due and she is due today and I didn't have any spotting, I was going to test in the morning but I never made it until morning, I started spotting right before bed, I had a mini break down and am completely fed up with infertilty, I have to separate myself from anything infertility related right now. I am sad, depressed, irritable, and just not being the mommy I should be to my wonderful blessing of a son, I am picking fights with my husband and please forgive me for saying this but I think I somehow in the back of my mind resent him because the infertility is coming from his side, I know its not his fault and I feel like a terrible person to even think that.....all he talks about is that we cannot afford much treatment and how we'll put ourselves under financially if we even consider something like IVF...he is right, it will destroy us. Why can't I just be happy with my son? I still feel an empty void where I want another child, my family isn't complete, I just know it...I love my son to death but I want sibling so bad for him...and I thought I would never get to this point again when I got pregnant with him but I honestly have to say it is no easier the second time around, not in the least...I am going into 18 months of TTC # 2 now and it took 26 months to conceive my son, am I heading that way again? Will it be longer? The uncertainity kills me....I don't know how to handle the pain anymore. I really do wish you all luck and much success with blessings of miracles, maybe I'll still be blessed with mine, but for now I have to get my mind on the things that I have right now.....

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May 15th, 2011, 05:04 AM
Posts: n/a
I can honestly say I know exactly how you feel and it is an awful thing to go through If you remember we are going through secondary infertility too due to MFI (18 months and counting, one varicocele surgery, one m/c after miraculously conceiving naturally, one failed IUI). We are seriously considering adoption right now and we really,really just can't afford it...we might do it anyway but we aren't typically the type of people who do things we can't afford.

Infertility is one of THE hardest things a couple can go through.

I hope taking a break helps you. Feel free to PM me anytime. I truly hope you are blessed soon.
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May 15th, 2011, 05:11 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can identify, because I've been getting this feeling a lot lately. I hope that a break helps.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

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May 15th, 2011, 08:26 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
I can feel you. We knew that the infertility is coming from my husband. Our RE seems to think the same. We have been TTC for 3 years with only one natural pregnancy (which ended in loss). I do have 2 children from a previous marriage (which was extremely abusive and just not a good thing from the start). My hubby adopted them after we married. Seeing how my exhusband never paid child support and owed a TON, he quickly signed away all his rights. Good for us.

Anway, I have longed for a planned pregnancy in a loving relationship for the longest time. I want a pregnancy that is calm, relaxed, and loving. I finally am in a beautiful and loving relationship (something I always thought was out of reach). My ex told me right before he left me that I would NEVER find anyone who wanted me with my "ugly" body (stretch marks) and that no one would ever love my children. Boy was he wrong.

Finally after 2 years with my hubby, I got a strong urge for another baby. Fast forward 3 years--no baby, one miscarriage. I desperately want his baby. I doubt I could consider adoption for this reason, but I hurt so bad that it has not happened yet. So I feel you.

I am sorry for the novel, I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. Don't ever let yourself think that you should be happy with just one if you really want another one. I can understand the break though. TTC is stressful and not getting pregnant hurts. It has caused me a lot of pain over the years. Know that I am here for you if you need to talk.

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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May 15th, 2011, 08:28 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NY Baby!
Posts: 639
I dont know what to say.....

I just wanted to acknowledge how sad you are feeling and let you know that I , too, have been there.

Relaxing can only be good for your body; we all need to take breaks, especially when we put so many hormones into our body.

I hope you feel better.
acgka; ALI

Married May 2010
TTC since August 2010, almost a year
IUI in December 2010 - BFP - chemical
IUI on 3/13/11 - BFN
April natural cycle - BFP on 4/22 - chemical confirmed 4/28
IUI done on 5/12 - BFN

IUI #4 done 6/6 - BFN
so sick of getting BFNs

total of 4 failed IUIs
IVF in July

using acupuncture 1x week, Royal Jelly, pre natals, organic Spirulina, Maca Root and Red Raspberry tea
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May 15th, 2011, 11:30 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,949
I am so sorry hun. I am praying for you. You're rigjt though ttc #2 isn't. Any easier
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May 15th, 2011, 12:38 PM
mcmarlena's Avatar Pregnant Again!!
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,179
I know how you feel. I often feel hurt, sad, and just plain want to give up. It feels like you're fighting against something that isn't ever going to happen and I feel resentment too at times towards my DH, and I know he didn't ask for this. Sometimes it's just so hard.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Mitch and Marlena, proud parents to Devin, Liam, and Micah.

Team BLUE!! Two precious boys born on October 28th, 2013.
Liam - 6lbs 7oz
Micah - 6lbs 10oz

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