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Sensitive question - previous loss mentioned

Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance


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  • 1 Post By Lash

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June 27th, 2013, 07:25 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,884
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I'm not sure where to put this.
And I know you guys here understand sensitive subjects. I hope this doesn't upset anyone.

When I was pregnant in February and March, I started a notebook, with appts and heartbeat rates and names we were thinking of. I have the three ultrasound pics in there.

I can't decide what to do with it. It seems wrong to throw it away like the little guy didn't exist. But I don't really need it.

What do you ladies think?
Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (15), ds Marcus (13), Our together miracle, baby Dean, 17 months

Crazy enough to try all over again for a second together baby! Hoping for a much less wild ride this time!

TTC with PCOS for 5 very long years. Annovulatory cycles. Multiple doctors. Different meds. One horrible loss. And then one wonderful success, born 2/18/14.

I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
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June 27th, 2013, 07:46 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,794
I think it's part of your journey and He did exist and you should keep it.

Someday this baby will want to hear about it.

I will support you regardless of what you decide though!
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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June 27th, 2013, 08:15 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,852
I still have my journals with all of my pregnancies. I tuck them into a box in my cedar chest, along with the positive HPT's and such. I still sometimes write notes in them to the babies i have lost.

My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

IVF referral in= 7/2017
RE Appt #1- 8/22/2017- doctor swears I don't have PCOS or RPL, go VEGAN to cure all
RE Appt #2- 8/24/2017- sono shows clear cysts, high afc, all bloodwork comes back PCOS typical

PAUSED UNTIL JANUARY 2018 to find a new IVF clinic

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June 27th, 2013, 08:45 AM
melissaleigh's Avatar Unashamed POASer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,221
I agree that the baby was part of your journey so maybe it is something you should tuck away - might be something special to share with this baby when he/she grows up
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June 27th, 2013, 09:42 AM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,716
We have a memory box with all the stuff we got from the hospital. You might go to craft place like Michael's or Hobby lobby and get a wooden box and decorated. We dried the flowers from all of Rhiannon's funeral arrangements and one day I will glue those to a box and that's where I will put all of her stuff

Of course we still have the nursery and so on so I can't really pack that but I can close the door on days when it's too hard. Having all of her stuff in a box means I can pull out when I want to and also put it away for a while when I need to do that as well
*Leah* likes this.
"I will make it through this because it is for her and for her, I will do anything. I am not brave, I am not strong, I am just Rhiannon’s mom". Our TTC/Adoption/Pregnancy Blog: Jump Over The Rainbow

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June 27th, 2013, 09:51 AM
Marieke's Avatar Mama to 3 angels
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,491
I kept everything from my little Miracle baby. I still have my + HPT on my fridge and I don't plan on moving it. I have an album just for him on my facebook, with his picture as a healthy 5-day embryo. I wouldn't be able to get rid of everything. My baby existed and I loved him with all my heart. Maybe other people would feel different, but I can't get rid of anything.

When I'm ready, I'll make a special memory box too. I didn't have a journal but I posted a lot on Facebook. I'll make a journal with all of that and put it in that memory box.

TTC since August 2008

6w (may '13)
4w (dec '14)
7w/ectopic (nov '15)

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June 27th, 2013, 10:13 AM
Gamer_Princess's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,032
I would def keep it as a way to look back at your journey. Thinking of you
TTC since 2010


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June 27th, 2013, 01:55 PM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,604
I have everything from mine as well, and I had a pregnancy journal...I've written in it with every pregnancy, different color pens for each. Sometimes it makes me sad, but I'm glad I have it. I think you should keep it.

Then when you want, you can pull it out. ((HUGS)).
TTC#1 since 10/2006, 5 failed IUI's, 1st IVF successful BFP!! Baby Girl 2/2011
TTC#2 BFP 9/2011, Natural Pregnancy! 3/30/12 M/C'd on 5/15/12 (9 weeks)
IVF#2 BFP 4/2013 M/C 6/2/13 (8 weeks)
FET #1 BFP 8/2013 - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #3 - Rtrval 10/31/13 2embryos on 5d - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #4 - Rtrval 4/4/14 (4 eggs) Txferred 3 embryos 4/7/14..BFN.

Check out my NEWBORN Hats and Baby Items
@ http://www.facebook.com/ThePaisleyPerle

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June 27th, 2013, 03:46 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,042
Ditto the other ladies.
My first loss I had a journal and I still have it. Its in my hope chest. The other losses I didn;t save anything but they didn't last past 5 weeks or I would have kept a journal or what not.
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog

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June 28th, 2013, 05:13 AM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Kentucky... again
Posts: 1,748
I agree with the girls, keep it. I have kept mine.
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June 28th, 2013, 06:53 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,329
If you are thinking you don't need it then I suggest at least storing it away somewhere. It's something you can never get back if you decide to throw it away. I kick myself often for not having anything from my 16 w loss. I wish so badly I had something, anything really.

Maybe in a few years if you still feel like you don't need it then maybe rethink keeping it.
DD1 (7) DD2 (6) DS (2)

16 weeks
4 weeks
8 weeks
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July 1st, 2013, 06:37 AM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,635
I agree with all the other ladies and would keep it as well.

Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
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July 1st, 2013, 03:33 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
i'm late seeing this, but i'd hold onto them unless having them is upsetting to you. One of my biggest regrets with my first loss was the nurse taking the u/s pictures from us, after the Dr told us the hb was slow and that we should prepare for a m/c, telling us we probably didn't want it now & me not grabbing it from her but I was so shocked by the news I didn't think about it until it was too late...it felt really wrong not to have something to remember that baby, and now almost 5 years later I still feel that way. ((((HUGS))))

Savannah Stylin!

Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
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