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Ladybird's journal


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
December 28th, 2006, 10:37 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
Well here is my 1st entry to get started!
I enjoyed a family Christmas, all the while hoping that this time next year i will either be a Mum
or a Mum-to-be.
It was hard seeing my friend's 16 yr old dd pg and my friends with their babies but the thought
that hopefully it will be my turn soon helped me through the day

I am just getting soooo excited about the new year now!
I think 2007 will be our lucky year.
I am very excited about our 1st IVF clinic appt on the 5th Jan and can't wait to have ICSI.
I pray with all my heart that it brings us the joy we long for.
We have been ttc#1 since May 04 and we are sooo ready to be Mummy and Daddy now!

I have started this journal to be a help for other women going through infertility/IVF etc.
I will be as honest as i can about each aspect of my treatments and our journey
which will hopefully start Down regging in March

Wishing all you girls a fantastic new year in 2007!
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  #2  
December 28th, 2006, 11:54 AM
Daniellea22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 9,076
aw good luck sarah! i know 2007 will be fabulous for you and i hope the IVF works on the first shot! Im here cheering you on!
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  #3  
December 30th, 2006, 03:04 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
Well it is almost farewell to 2006 and welcome to 2007.
I feel full of excitement, nerves and anticipation.
I have a lucky feeling 2007 will be the year we get blessed with our BFP.
I start my new job on the 2nd and i am going to hit the gym!
I will lose the weight i need to before march when we hopefully start D/R.
In my mind, i wish to be pg by my 26th birthday on 19th may.
That would be the greatest gift EVER and would make me happy beyond belief.
I feel like there is a garage sale going on inside my head and that people are rummaging
through my mind. That is the only way i can describe how mixed my emotions are about my life
changing soooo much in 2007
I am enjoying a glass of cider and tomorrow night will enjoy the new years party at the pub
with my loved ones. We have a lot to look to in the new year.
I will enjoy champagne and wine and a few cigars and then from Jan 1st all that stops completely.
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  #4  
January 5th, 2007, 10:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
New year, new start!

Today was our 1st IVF clinic appt. It went really well, considering me and mart
were arguing non stop beforehand!
When we were waiting for out turn, i was looking at the boards full of other peoples miracle
baby pics, and for the 1st time in a long time i could imagne being a Mum myself
It was so lovely to see these beautiful much longed for babies. All conceived at our clinic.
I have to lose 2 1/2 stones and then we are going ahead and il start D/R.
Hopefully end of March. I am very focused on this and know il lose the weight
I am being super healthy and havent even had wine with my meals since last year(new years eve)
I am getting plenty of exercise and eating lots of fruit and veg. I am determined to get in good
shape and health before i put such a strain on my body.

It is strange for me to think that this time next year i will be heavily pg if the ICSI works.
Please god let it work 1st time. Let us be the lucky statistics
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  #5  
March 24th, 2007, 02:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
Well i have not written here for a long time as things have gone so wrong.

I started my new job at LVG on Jan 29th and i LOVED it. I was good at it and it gave me
a sense of purpose and stopped my brain focusing 100% every second on ttc.

Well Jan and Feb were such good mths, full of hope and antacipation of our forthcoming IVF...
Then March hits and shatters our dream of being parents at long last.
I got fired from my Job for having a bad reference from a previous job and was even escorted
out the building. I had done NOTHING wrong wotsover...
The pigs sacked me the day before Kym's baby's funeral too.
I actually almost lost complete grip on reality and could feel my mental health going into decline.
I needed to just 'run away and hide' for a little while to recover, so straight after baby Robert's
funeral, my Mum came with me to Spain for a wk.
I had fun and drank and ate lots, had late nights and big sleep in's and i forgot my problems
to my best ability. It felt so,so good to be just 'me' again.
Me with no issues and no probs just for that 1 magical wk.

I am now back to reality and trying to sort my life out once again.
We cannot start our IVF now next mth like we had planned,due to financial issues now im
out of work again.
I am so heartbroken at this and i feel lost, sad,angry and confused all at once.
I am pursuing the person who wrote the Ref and i may even take legal action.
I am sick of letting life drag me down and i am no longer going to allow it.
I have been for my appt to get benefit, which i hated, as i thought that part of my life
was left behind...But i need cash so that is that.
I have also decided to go back to my diet on Monday and take regular exercise again.
I have took up nervous smoking again, although just 3-4 per day.
At the moment i need that crutch. I am not proud to admit that, but i am honest.
I will not let this chain of events break me. I am going to get pregnant this year.
I am going to go all out to make sure of that.
I have paid my dues and waited long enough.
There are some things in this life, outside of my control, but luckily some things are in my control.

I have bad and good days and i feel very sad for my situation and also DB who finally
was showing a real intrest in the IVF process.
I got so, so near and now we are so far. I am determined this year will turn around again
for us and that we get the joyful news, we so deserve and yearn for.
I am planning on having a few wks of sorting this mess out and enjoying some day trips
and relaxing, and then i will go job hunting again and be upfront over what has happened
and then hopefully someone should like my honesty and give me a chance somewhere along the line.

Watch this space!

Sarah
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  #6  
April 5th, 2007, 12:50 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
Well today i had my HSG.
I was terrified of this procedure, but although painful in parts(when they put the catherter in my womb)
It was not as 'Horrific' as i led myself to believe
It took 15 mins and the longest part was trying to get my cervix open
I watched on the screen as the dye, flowed freely through my tubes and into my pelvic area.
The nurses said i have the clearest tubes they had seen this wk!!

I am soooo over the moon that i am ok!
Martin needs to have his hormonal blood test next fri to check his FSH and LH
and then we get to have a appt with RE again and get Mart some clomid or similar
If he responds to the drugs, our next step is IUI!!!

I am soooo excited. I see my BFP getting closer and closer to me
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  #7  
May 13th, 2007, 01:44 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 5,158
Have been very down for wks and not really wanted to post here after the news we got...
It turned out that following a blood test and our Cons looking over DB's notes again, that IUI
was not a option afterall as DB would not respond to the clomid
So i was very, very down and felt that the tiny bit of hope that we had was gone and that this yr
had no chance of giving us a pregnancy.
Well...All that has changed!! My Mum and Dad are giving us the rest of the money so we can afford
to 'self fund' our ICSI cycle!!!

I am sooo happy! I will start D/R the end of July hopefully and have E/C In August please god.
I am feeling very optimistic and also scared! I have just over 2 stones to lose before we can start.
I will make sure i do that. I have always failed at diets, but never before have i had such a amazing
reason to diet...To carry our much longed for baby

I will update here on my weight loss when i lose that 1st stone and keep up to date with appts
and meds etc.

Sarah
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