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"Are you a mom yet??"


Forum: Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance

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  #1  
January 18th, 2007, 10:46 PM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,949
ugggg , is anyone else sick of people that have no idea what's going on with your life asking "So, are you a mom yet?" Or, "When are you guys gonna start having babies??"
I just want to scream that I'M TRYING!!!! However... I politley smile and say, "well, we are enjoying our time as a married couple, but are waiting on God's timing"
Blech, makes me wanna cry everytime... maybe it's just me though
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  #2  
January 19th, 2007, 05:59 AM
Daniellea22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 9,076
im sorry, i can kind of relate to how you feel. I do have a son already but these past 2 years of ttc i would get " when you guys gonna have another baby? mikey is getting older" and stuff like that..meanwhile i had, had 2 miscarriages and we were trying SO hard to get pregnant again. It really does hurt and i can remember thinking " if they only knew how long we have been trying" they made me feel ashamed or something. Just hang in there..it will happen for you. I hope clomid does the trick!!
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  #3  
January 19th, 2007, 08:21 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 18,680
Those words always stab at my heart! I find I get that question asked mainly at church too! I've often had to catch myself from blurting out "we're stuggling with infertility/recurrent m/c". I'm sure the looks on their faces would speak volumes. You would think in this day and age that things like that shouldn't be asked since it's none of their business!

When people started to ask us that at church I would say "For God to know and us to find out" or "When the seed is planted". DH of course had his little patt answer when asked, "No, not yet, we're just practicing!"

I think it's a common feeling to feel hurt by those kind of questions. They're not fair and really put you on the spot. I ued to be very quiet and polite, but now I'm starting to be a bit more open with people. It's been neat to see he response when you share with a few people what you're going through. I think God opens up doors when we least expect it.

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  #4  
January 19th, 2007, 10:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,781
I don't mind people asking as much as I hate these words:

"It will happen when you are least expecting it"

or

"Don't stress and I'm sure it will happen"

or

"Are you trying too hard?"

I just want to scream, "OH YES! That's it! That's the answer to my problems. I've been trying TOO hard - what would I have done without your divine guidance??" UGH

I feel your pain. It sucks going through infertility because everything is a sore spot when the pregnancy talk comes up.
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  #5  
January 19th, 2007, 10:17 AM
*Melissa*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,949
Thanks for all your responses!!! It means so much
It always is a touchy subject when people bring up the topic of pregnancy around me, but i try really hard to just be kind and let any resentment go. I just reallllly hate that question, that intrution of privacy that makes me get nervous and ashamed wondering what to say back.
On the other hand, i love it when people say to me "I just know it will happen for you" even if they have no idea at all lol it just feels nice.
but NOT when people say "maybe your just trying too hard" .... Well I have rambled enough, thanks for writing back guys!!!
<>< Melissa
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  #6  
January 20th, 2007, 10:56 AM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 23
Quote:
Thanks for all your responses!!! It means so much
It always is a touchy subject when people bring up the topic of pregnancy around me, but i try really hard to just be kind and let any resentment go. I just reallllly hate that question, that intrution of privacy that makes me get nervous and ashamed wondering what to say back.
On the other hand, i love it when people say to me "I just know it will happen for you" even if they have no idea at all lol it just feels nice.
but NOT when people say "maybe your just trying too hard" .... Well I have rambled enough, thanks for writing back guys!!!
<>< Melissa[/b]


I actually had someone say to me " You do know how to make a baby right?". My response was "YEAH but some people can't just have sex and get pregnant." Plus we had to wait because I had chemo and that put us on hold. But people just have a lot of nerve!!!
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