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Is anyone else completely overwhelmed?


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  #1  
September 15th, 2008, 09:03 AM
4boys
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I only have four kids, so not that large in comparison with a lot of the families on this board. And maybe it is just because I have a baby right now. But I am often feeling completely overwhelmed by everything I need to be doing on a daily basis. My oldest is 6 so he can help with some things but not really major things (like I couldn't get him to cook a meal if I didn't have the energy) and I am in the middle of potty training my 2 year old which is very hands-on. Plus everyone is sick right now, which doesn't help at all.

I feel like I have far too much to do every day and sometimes just the thought of my to-do list makes me want to crawl back into bed. But if I don't do it, no one else will. Every day I am trying to get school done in the mornings for the oldest two (not a huge deal because we are doing pre-K and Gr. 1 but still needs to get done), do some laundry because Reid spits up a lot and goes through clothes, blankets and spit rags like crazy, make two meals from scratch, take Ben to the toilet every hour or so to keep him dry (still waiting for him to tell me consistently when he needs to go), keep track of Reid's schedule so that he naps and eats at the right times, change diapers, keep up with exercise 3 times a week, keep the house clean (doesn't get done very often), wash bottles as needed, I also have a garden and some flower beds that need attention....

Am I trying to accomplish an abnormal amount in one day? Somehow I doubt that.... Is this just a phase in my life that will pass once Reid is older and more independent and Ben is potty trained?

How do you handle all your responsibilities every day? Just do what you can and do the rest tomorrow? Am I missing something?

Does anyone feel like a nut job trying to get everything done in a day? DH keeps saying we have too many kids....not that we regret having any of them of course, but I am finding the work load that goes along with four kids is a lot harder than three was. Also, DH farms and is outside the house all day and usually comes inside tired at the end of the day, so I don't get any help from him (not trying to complain, just stating facts).

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  #2  
September 15th, 2008, 09:23 AM
kassia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 12,631
HUGS!!! I think it's normal to have those moments of being overwhelmed. I know as my kids have gotten older it's gotten easier to deal with the day to day things. I am sure as your boys get older it will get easier too.
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  #3  
September 15th, 2008, 09:25 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
Oh man...I'm so going to be in your shoes any day now. I have a 6, 4, and 2 year old...and am due this week. HUGS.....

Know that EVERY mom when they first have a baby 1,2,3,4 etc is overwhelmed at first....there is a period of a few months that are a blur....eventually you'll wonder how you ever thought life with three was hard when life with four is so easy .....And if anyone asks you how hard it is with four you'll think..."not at all" and so on....I know when I had my third I was crazy overwhelmed....But soon we got into our nitch and it was smooth sailing from there. You'll find your groove and all will be well.

Dont try to tackle it all at once. Know that with Homeschool you can get it done in the morning or afternoon...or both...a little here a little there. You dont have to get it done while everyone is awake...wait until nap time for the youngers and try to get it in then.

As for the baby's schedule....I'm a firm believer in making their schedule revolve around mine. Not the other way around. If I want them to nap in the morning while I school the olders....I will eventually (after trial and error I'm sure) figure out how that will work best...and then the nap later in the day will be at the same time as the older ones who nap...etc. Feeding...I always did on demand. Now, that being said...I"m not a schedule type person...I dont thrive on schedules and so on...so I've always been child led on timing for naps and feeding....when they got tired I laid them down...etc.

HUGS....You can do it....and you'll be great at it!!!!!!
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #4  
September 15th, 2008, 11:59 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
Yep, you are going through a phase. Try to relax. I homeschool, too, and I can promise you if you let that slide a little right now, you will be able to pick up again in a year and they will have matured, learned, and grown, all without you. I might even put the 2yo back in diapers until he is ready or the baby is over 6 mos.

Also, each year that goes by they all get older and more mature. They are amazing. It does get easier, you will get through it. You need a nap. I really think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself right now.

Praying for you!
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  #5  
September 15th, 2008, 02:34 PM
4boys
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Posts: n/a
Thank you.
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  #6  
September 15th, 2008, 03:18 PM
Sammybaby's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: GEORGIA
Posts: 52
I just wanted to add something.I went through that real bad this year. to the point that I thought I was going crazy. I learned a lesson that I believe that is really important to know.Your kids,house , and husband are all really important but you can't take care of them if you don't have time to think or relax. You have to learn to say o.k. I need time to sit down and weigh pro and con on everything in my life and see what needs to come first get rid of the things you really don't need. and so what if the clothes are not folded or the dishes have not been put up
sit in it if you have to for a hour to breath you can always go back to it in a while but take time for yourself to calculate what you can do. Also find a way to enjoy things better like if I am tired and don't want to do dishes (and watch kids) I will put on some music and dance while I am doing them and keeps the kids busy. Some times I had the stress of thinking someone was going to come over and see my house and I don't have everything done.You don't have to open the door just remember that and you have to right to tell someone you do not want company.Just remember to enjoy your life you only get 1 It will be alright. and I don't have any stories I'm not telling I have tricks of the trade to keep things up sometimes but I might not answer the door.
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  #7  
September 15th, 2008, 04:59 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
I totally agree
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #8  
September 15th, 2008, 05:30 PM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,287
Oh sweetie I know how you feel! And God forbid I complain, then I hear "well, you had to have so many kids!" UGH! I have no kids in school yet, so I have 4 at home, also, I just put my oldest in 2 day a week school group to get her some time to socialize without her siblings, and it's going well. I also just went back to college, so trying to keep up with studying (which I should be doing right now) AND keeping up with 4 kids, my house (which I'm starting to think we did NOT need such a large house for us), my DH, and everything else that comes along with life, I'm going to LOSE it! I hired a babysitter to help me, she comes once a week so I can go out and do whatever I want/need. I usually gfo study, b/c that is my life right now, studying constantly. A mother's helper can always help too. And another thing that is helping me a little, GET RID of all unnecessary stuff!!!! Anything that adds work in my house needs to go! I'm also learning to say NO. Playdate on Friday? Sorry, I need to use Friday for laundry. Soccer practice Tuesday night? I'll drive this week and another mom drives next week. Network with other moms! And most importantly, RELAX and ENJOY yourself. I agree to put stuff aside and read, do a craft, sleep, find time for YOU! It WILL get better! Being sick doesn't help, we're all sick here too. Keep your chin up, you're a GREAT MOM!
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  #9  
September 16th, 2008, 06:54 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Andrews AFB, MD
Posts: 15,496
((Hugs)) Hang in there Erin. I definitely have days like that as well - and I only have three kids and don't Homeschool. I know that the work involved just to keep the every day things going can seem overwhelming at times..the cooking, cleaning, laundry, plus child care. And I feel like both of our kids at the age where we are training them to be helpers and contribute to the household. So bottom line is that their "help" is not always that helpful. I do feel that our work in that area now will pay off as they get older though.

I'm a little lazy in the potty training department I think. I just wait until they are completely ready and then put them in underwear...they train in like one day that way. I'm totally fine with them wearing diapers until three if that's what it takes though, and I know not everyone feels the same way.
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  #10  
September 16th, 2008, 07:36 AM
mommablogger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 4,588
I have days like that too, and every time I look back I wonder how I could have felt overwhelmed with "only" 4 kids, or 2 kids, or even 1 kid. It seems to be a matter of learning how to deal with things (especially when they're constantly changing).

I've made a point of trying to get done what has to get done each day, and going from there. Things that have to get done are dishes, a little straightening here and there, a few loads of laundry (that eventually get put away, but I'm getting better about that), and things like that. My oldest two do a lot of work in the kitchen area (dishes/dishwasher, wipe table, sweep floor, etc.). Then I try to have them pick up at random times during the day when it gets messy, and go from there. Today I noticed I need to mop. Soon. It will probably not get done for a day or two.

I have found a lot of helpful information through FlyLady and Managers Of Their Homes. Both systems say to break things up into shorter segments, and they also both say that you can't get everything done all at once, and not to let yourself get overwhelmed. FlyLady makes a point of breaking things into 15 minute segments where you do as much as you can in a flurry of activity for 15 minutes, and then stop. Come back again a little later. FlyLady also works on decluttering areas in stages, which also helps. It has helped me to organize a lot more than I ever thought possible.

As for the potty training, that will add stress to anything. I hate it. Passionately. My two oldest boys were a nightmare, and my 4yo sort of is getting the idea but it's taking a while. I don't like potty training boys at all. My daughter took a week. Enough said

It will get better. Just try to do what you can do, and don't let yourself get too worried about the rest. There will always be work to do, and you can only do so much at once.

Perhaps there is someone who can help you occasionally? Once in a while dh will take the kids off my hands for a little bit so I can put things away in our room (I am a major clutterbug), or just long enough for me to make dinner if they're really in a mood. He is a major neat freak, so we've had trouble with that, but he's gotten more understanding about it as of late, since he's been home a lot more.

Hopefully some of that information was helpful. Just don't worry about it too much. It will get better. The older kids will get older and be able to do more (you'd be surprised what they can do at age 5), and things will get easier.
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  #11  
September 16th, 2008, 07:39 AM
Kristina's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hugs I have so been there, I'm with Claire on the potty training I wait until they can tell me they need to go pee, call me lazy but it helps me sanity, My kids have all been trained before they were 3 though. Is there any way your oldest can go help daddy for a little bit during the day after you homeschool him, My dh will take one or 2 of the kiddos with him when he is mowing lawns just to give me a break and to spend some time with them. It probably will be more difficult for your dh to get his job done but you are doing a job too.

The first 6 months are the most difficult it usually takes me 6 months after I have a baby to get my house back in order. Chant this mantra "this too shall pass" hugs I hope things are better today.
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  #12  
September 16th, 2008, 01:10 PM
4boys
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Posts: n/a
Thanks ladies. Today is a better day. It does not help that I am sick this week. So I am trying to take it easy. Seems like half the time I am doing fine and then suddenly one day I just can't do it anymore! But I think maybe those days are getting less now as Reid gets older. He has just learned to hold his own bottle and feed himself so that helps free me up when he's hungry while I'm cooking dinner. And once Ben is fully potty trained that will help a lot too I'm sure. It's just a crazy time of life I guess!
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  #13  
September 16th, 2008, 02:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
It will get better - at least that's what I keep telling myself. You have a lot going on right now. Baby, potty training, homeschooling. Wait, that sounds like me too! I was getting ready to pack my bags for the crazy house last week. Not kidding. Then my husband took a few days off and is helping me get caught up on housework. That is helping a bit. I am not pushing the potty training. I want her to train, but it's not gonna hurt anything if it takes a little longer. I am taking walks at night to get alone time. That helps. Hang in there. Try to get a little break if you can- just to regroup. Or take a day off from school and just do something fun away from the house with the kids- a fieldtrip of some kind. That almost always helps me feel better.

Hugs!
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  #14  
September 18th, 2008, 05:11 AM
mommablogger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Seems like half the time I am doing fine and then suddenly one day I just can't do it anymore![/b]
I know that feeling. It seems like I can get a few days where things are going good, the kids are mostly listening, and then I get a few days where the crazy bug bites them and they're all nuts. They fight constantly and they can't seem to listen to a thing I say, and then I wonder how on earth I could ever do it. But, it does get better in it's own crazy way.
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