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How much respect would you lose for me

Forum: Large Families


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September 13th, 2009, 10:32 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
if I give up trying to breast feed this baby? It takes so long to force her to try to nurse, then pump out what she doesn't eat (which is everything) and then feed it to her with a bottle. It is kind of stupid. And then meanwhile, all the other kids are tearing up the house, not doing their chores, not doing their schoolwork, hitting each other with bats, remote controls, and toys (this is mostly the 2 yo), and so on and so on. They need parenting and I need time. I just want someone to say "go ahead and quit the pumping nonsense and just give her a bottle."

But the thought of feeding her nothing but formula doesn't really appeal to me, either. It stinks, it is sticky, her poop is nasty. It is expensive (but not so much that we can't do it for the next 8 mos). But I really think the time and convenience will make it worth it in the long run. Plus, I could get pregnant again faster and have a normal baby who will nurse!

So, LF friends, what do you think?
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September 13th, 2009, 11:01 AM
kassia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 12,631
Give her the bottle. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding. If it will make life run smoother then I say go for it
Mom of
Sam 13, Hannah 11, Gabriel 7, Emma 6 and Brayden 2

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September 13th, 2009, 01:51 PM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,680
I agree farmerswife! There is nothing to stress about. She is happy, and everything else is falling down around you. Get your sanity back and make you feel better.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy!!!

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September 13th, 2009, 01:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,572
Oh my, have I btdt!!! With my last baby, I decided I would only pump 3 times a day - before anyone woke up, naptime, and after they all went to bed. It just so turned out that I pumped enough to feed her BM fulltime until about 8 months or so and then she had formula/bm until 1 year.

I have done the EPing 6'x a day with 7 other kids running around and IT. IS. HARD. That is why I limited myself to 3 times a day with her. This time, I have no idea what I will do but I just can't fathom doing it full time like I have in the past.

I am just like you and not wanting them to have just formula. I obviously have problems with breastfeeding. My 1st two and my 7th were formula babies and they are just as healthy and smart (even healthier than some of the ones I pumped for) so I know formula is awesome. I just don't know why it tears me apart so much to choose to go that route. 17.5 years ago I was laughed at for pumping by Drs and nurses and told just to give formula. Now they seem to do everything they can to push "at least" pumping. Drives me crazy and adds so much guilt.

No one will lose any respect for you AT ALL! And if they do, would you really care?

Like I said, I understand the whole bm/formula dilema. That's why I wanted to let you know how I did it last time and will probably end up doing it this time. Even if I have to supplement with formula, it will still be the best of both worlds. Good luck!!
DS-19, DD-16, DD-13, DD-11, DS-9, DD-6, DS-6, DD-5, and DD-2,
and DD-1

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September 13th, 2009, 02:20 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
OK, Mamatolots, you might be on to something here. I feel like I am pumping all day every day. Let's see how much I can make doing it like that and be done with it. I know my struggle comes from never having to do this before. Glad there are BTDT folks out there to put my mind at ease and give me some perspective!
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September 13th, 2009, 03:42 PM
Indymommy7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,033
If someone would lose respect for you because of how you choose to feed your child, they are not worth your friendship!

You need to do what is best suited for the sanity of you and your family and if you have to go a route other than bf, or pumping, so be it!

It's kinda of like me in a way; I was intent on trying to clothe diaper my baby who is due in Jan and I bought a small collection. Then I gave it alot more thought and was thinking, would it really be feasiable and worth it for me to add that much more to our already large loads of laundry which stress me out as it is? Not to put down mothers who cd (if you can do it, you're a saint in my book), but it simply is not for me.

I had to put Korinne on the bottle pretty early because she would latch on for a few seconds and push off and feeding sessions got to be so stressful and once I put her on the bottle, feeding time was a very relaxing time. I hope that this next one is a good breast feeder though.

Good luck to you whatever you decide to do!!!
Wendy, wife to Tony

Mother to Chad 19, Alexa 18, Jeremiah 16, Madelyn 13, Korinne 6, Sky 3, and introducing baby Linden 1/17/12

Thanks for the beautiful siggy
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September 13th, 2009, 03:54 PM
Doodle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Orlando-ish Florida
Posts: 10,919
every child needs different things. You've given it a fighting chance and if it's not working, causing more stress, and creating a situation then it's time to salvage your sanity and just do what you think you and Tessia need.
Visit my photography page
Erin, Mama to 6 little birds

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September 13th, 2009, 08:49 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
You do what you gotta do...as long as you are feeding your baby...it's none of anyone's business. HUGS!!!
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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September 13th, 2009, 08:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,217
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First of all I want to say NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE YOU WOULDN'T LOSE MY RESPECT. I love reading your posts, I find you to have a lot of insight and wit.

That being said, the seemingly endless breastfeeding hassles don't last forever and in the beginning it seems so hard but by about 2 1/2 months everything starts to fall into place and it isn't so hard IMO.

That being said I also love the advice to pump 3x a day. That way you can keep your options open and you seem somewhat on the fence about giving Tessia 100% formula anyway. It may just be the best of both worlds solution for you....

If you go to 100% formula if you sign up on the company websites you should get a lot of coupons and samples. Freecycle is also a great place to get formula, as is craigslist (sometimes)

Good luck with whatever you choose.

Mom x 5

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September 14th, 2009, 01:30 AM
Mommy to Many
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 205
I'm adopted so I know I was formula fed and I'm the smartest person I know! Seriously, all jokes aside, do what you have to do. Only one of my children was exclusively breast-fed; the others were supplemented in some form or fashion and they are all healthy, happy, and smart. They all hit their respective milestones early. You are an awesome, amazing super-mommy whether you breastfeed/express exclusively or not. YOU ROCK!!!
Gabby, bio-mom to 4 under 11, step-mom to 3 adult children, (step)grandmom to 8 under 8. Therapeutic foster parent with 2-3 open beds, but not for long!
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September 14th, 2009, 08:03 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
Thanks you all. I feel a lot better now. I am trying the 3-4 times of pumping today. Last night, I had my husband feed her the bottle and I went to bed! I don't even remember him putting her down (her bassinette is right beside me) and him coming to bed. She woke at 5:30 and I fed her the bottle I had pumped, then pumped 2 more feedings for her, and went back to bed! Then we got up at 9 and I fed her another bottle. Now I am waiting til lunch to pump again and I am out here able to yell at everyone while they are tearing up the house instead of later!
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September 14th, 2009, 04:55 PM
momoftwinsand1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 3,010
I wouldnt lose respect at all. I bottlefed all my babies and they are all healthy and smart!! You have to do what is best for you, the baby and your family.
Lisa Mommy to
Madison Yvonne and Hailey Yvonne 1-12-00 identical twins, c section 32 weekers
Jenna Noelle 4-17-02, VBAC 6 pounds 15 ounces, 19 inches
John Allen 4-4-06, VBAC 6 pounds 2 ounces 19 inches long
Paige Belle 5-21-07, VBAC 5 pounds 9 ounces 17 inches
Ava Marie 2-28-09, VBAC 5 pounds 10 ounces,16 1/2 inches
Jackson Douglas 2-13-13, VBAC 6 pounds 5 ounces, 19 inches
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September 14th, 2009, 06:27 PM
MotherFrog's Avatar lost in la la land
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: lost in Iowa
Posts: 6,537
You have to do what's best for baby, you, and the demolishing crew. A few of my kids were that way and the house was pretty much destroyed by the time I gave into formula. I didn't like the formula for the same reasons as you but it was either that or I was going to the insane asylum!

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September 14th, 2009, 08:14 PM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,287
hey, whatever works! But it does get easier around 2-3 months, so if you can keep some milk supply up then go back to nursing more often when things calm down at least it's an option. That's what I did, I went ot nursing only at night, formula during the day, now that school is started up and he's older and quicker and better at nursing we're back to some day time feedings too. Whatever you need to do is what you do!

Ashley,doula and busy mom to:
Brianne 11
Colin 10
Kylie 9
Bryson 7
Noah 5

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September 20th, 2009, 02:10 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
No one is going to lose respect for you! How are things going?

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