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BedTime Woes

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September 14th, 2009, 07:18 PM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,287
My 4 year old son is a NIGHTMARE at bedtime. He cries, whines, screams, annoys, and just bothers the hec out of me. He takes a very long time to wind down, everyone else falls asleep and he's whining for a good half hour after that. He bugs for food, drinks, for me, and just asking random nonsense questions about our plans for the next day. I can't stand it any more. He makes bedtime a nightmare. He wakes his brother up every night doing this. No matter how many warnings he just doesn't shut his mouth. He's told to be quiet, and he just goes on and on and on. Please someone shed some light on how to keep him quiet. There is no where else for him to sleep so I can't remove him from his room, plus that's what he wants anyway. Advice???

Ashley,doula and busy mom to:
Brianne 11
Colin 10
Kylie 9
Bryson 7
Noah 5

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September 15th, 2009, 05:54 AM
huckleberry312's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,196
We have the same problem with one of ours. The boys starting sharing about 5 yrs ago and we never could get him to quiet down and go to bed. He would just keep talking and coming out. The best compromise we had was putting him to be before the other child. Once he was asleep we would let the other kids go in. It didn't always work though. We just moved and have an extra room so we finally separated them. Luckily now everyone goes to sleep and it works out. I wish I had some advice. We tried for 5 yrs and never found a solution. If it wasn't the whining one it was the older one arguing with him. Good luck. If you find a way let me know.


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September 15th, 2009, 08:09 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
Spank him.

You put him to bed, pray for him (if you are like that), and say good night. Tell him once if he gets up, he will be spanked. Then, when he does (and he will) spank him. Do it every time. Crack the door and look in on him, even if he doesn't come out, but gets up, spank him. It will take a good 3 nights of this.

There is no compromise.
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September 15th, 2009, 08:13 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
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I haven't ever had the issue, but you could try SuperNanny's way (LOL, I have been watching repeats on tv the last week) she suggests not speaking or interacting with the child and just leading them back to bed, put them in bed and walk away...repeat until you are utterly exhausted and child finally falls asleep. Takes a few days, I think.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
Welcome to the world lil' man!!
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September 15th, 2009, 09:25 AM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: oklahoma
Posts: 102
We really don't have this problem. Autumn is the only one that does it on occasions depending on what time she woke up in the morning. I found with her if she is not tired an hr before bedtime to just wear her out playing, warm bath, then reading a whole bunch of books. I think she wants the extra attention before bed sometimes.
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September 15th, 2009, 10:48 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
What about quiet reading time? Have you tried laying in the bed with him (or even seated on the floor) reading a bedtime story?
My 3rd & 4th share a room and winding down is important or bedtime is hell. Things I follow are:
  • Playtime ends at least 1 hour before bed
  • No juice or items with a sugar content at least 1 hour before bed
  • IF there is any sort of playtime, it MUST be a quiet activity
  • Warm bath or shower at least 30 minutes before bed

Basically you need to cut off anything that is a stimulant before bed that leaves enough time to wind them down. If you are trying to get housework or things done in that time, then stop and do it later if you must - but you need an expected routine.
The child knows what to expect when it's bed time, and since it's a continued issue, you have to 'plan' things around breaking the habits.
I'm not saying this is definitely going to work for you, but bringing in an expected routine, being firm and sticking to it might be the best way to get a handle on things.

I refuse to agree with spanking, it's my opinion that spanking simply says "I'm frustrated with you and I've run out of options". To each their own mind you, but I am a non-spanking Mother as I do not believe it teaches a child anything. How am I supposed to teach them that it's not ok to hit people if I do it.
Also, when my 4th child was 8 yrs old, my ex-hubby's girlfriend beat my son with the hard plastic tubing from a vacuum cleaner causing terrible, horrifying bruises of which she was charged and sentenced (assault with a weapon) because my son had an accident in his pants; she had taken to spanking him prior to that problem (accidents in his pants) out of frustration, hence a new issue arose.
So as you can see, I do not believe that hitting solves problems.

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September 15th, 2009, 12:01 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,217
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I basically did what Jenifer said, I kept bringing Sapphire back to bed, and telling her it was time to go to sleep. It didn't last very long.

Mom x 5

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September 16th, 2009, 03:55 PM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 7,287
Well, sadly I have tried a lot of these things. Spanking does not work, just makes him more angry and he keeps on and on and on. Plus I would have to pretty much beat him for him to care, normal spankings have NO effect on him, we have tried. This child is what some would call "spirited" lol. More like the most persistent child I have ever met! I think it does have something to do with wanting me one on one attention, and also him having a hard time winding down. He would stay up all night long even if he had gotten up at 6am that day. Last night was terrible, he woke up his little brother twice, and didn't fall asleep until 10:45pm!!! I can't put Colin to bed first b/c it's too early since Bryson goes down at 7-7:30...Colin goes down at 8:30. Hopefully tonight will be better....

Ashley,doula and busy mom to:
Brianne 11
Colin 10
Kylie 9
Bryson 7
Noah 5

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