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toddler scraps, need advice

Forum: Large Families


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February 14th, 2010, 05:48 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
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Nolan and E are 18 months apart, she'll be 2 in April. They're both not very verbal, should I expect them to share any better than this? They fight for whatever toy the other has. Nolan shares well with older kids, but not with E, and she has no concept of sharing at all. Am I doing something wrong, or is this sadly normal? How do I "make" them get along, lol?

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February 14th, 2010, 06:32 PM
Doodle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Orlando-ish Florida
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we practice sharing and taking turns. You cant expect too much at this age but it's when they learn so modeling the behavior and playing what you preach will help. Enforce nice hands, nice words etc etc and talk about it using those kinds of words while you all are practicing
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February 14th, 2010, 06:56 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I like Doodle advice. I imagine that, for a little while, there may be conflict until everyone figures out exactly where E fits into the family. Nolan's not used to having a baby sister and E isn't used to being a baby sister and a big sister (that I'm aware of anyway). I know that wasn't much for advice, sorry.
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February 15th, 2010, 04:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Sharing is toughest between my 16 mth old and 3 yr old daughter - so pretty similar.

They share better at things like "taking turns" on the Step 2 roller coaster or sorting shapes rather than playing with the toy kitchen or blocks since Riley typically knocks down what Reagan builds.

I would think it was pretty common to have sharing issues at their ages but I also imagine that E is still trying to figure things out.

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February 15th, 2010, 07:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
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Hi Marie,
We have two that are that age spread and share pretty well. They have occasional squabbles, but we enforce sharing and no hitting. But...yours are just figuring out the order of things. Both N and E will have to adjust and it may take a little time. Hang in there, just keep at it. Maybe having a little seperate playtime with each of them would help. Do they both take naps? Ours that age don't (despite my trying), so I get some extra time individually then.
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February 15th, 2010, 11:43 AM
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My three are all really close in age. Now that they're getting older (Beth is five now) it's a bit easier. This is my advice for close in age toddlers though:

For small items just get two. Really it is soo not worth it...just make sure you have two sets of crayons, two coloring books, two magnadoodles, two balls, all that sort of thing. Everyone's happy, they'll get to engage in parallel play, and over time they will natually want to play together and share some.

For larger or more expensive toys that they do need to share they may need supervision if hitting it a problem. I know it is a pain sometimes, but if it's an item you KNOW causes trouble only let them play with it when you are around to monitor and help them share. When you're busy cooking dinner pull out one of the things you have two of.

Finally, make sure you do teach your youngest to share. I found myself falling into the habit of always making my older two give things to the baby, without making sure she also shared. Well the problem is the baby does get bigger without learning to share, and the older child starts to feel resentful. Carrie got in the habit of screaming when she wanted what the others had, even if she had never had it and it wasn't her turn. I now make sure they all share, and at 24 months she does have a basic understanding of taking turns.
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February 15th, 2010, 08:31 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
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Thank you so much ladies! I am working hard at making sure they both have to share, not just N b/c he's older. And we make sure that each of them has individual time each day, E still naps when the twins do, so N has special time with us. I know they both can share, b/c if I threaten to remove the offending toy, they figure it out quick, lol! I want to be fair to both of them, and I discourage hitting when they're frustrated, it feels like I'm doing everything right, but it doesn't always work. Just the nature of having more than one toddler?? Oh, and the scraps in the back of the minivan, lol! I'm thinking of having a toddler sit beside a twin, then there will be no touching, or toy taking, etc! How do you manage that??

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