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  #1  
March 15th, 2010, 06:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,741
find that all important alone time with your DH/SO? The only time we get alone together is that time between when the kids go to bed and we drop into bed. We don't get date nights.. the only time anyone has watched our kids for us is when I was in the hospital delivering one of them, and even then, my mom and aunt brought them to the hospital and were constantly pulling DH out of the labor room to change one of them or get one of them a snack or whatever. Now our 5 year anniversary is coming up in May... we really would like to be able to take a weekend and go to Chicago (where we first met) to celebrate it. Things for awhile were kinda rough between us.. my DH's job being the main cause behind our problems.. and when he lost his job last year and got away from there and got into a good place to work, it opened his eyes to everything that was happening around him and we were able to get our relationship back on track. So now we want our anniversary weekend to celebrate making it through all the rough patches and kinda representing a new start, but I know in order to get anyone to come stay with our kids, I'd have to beg and beg and beg. Which I could understand a little... they are our kids, our responsibility, but these same people are constantly asking me to do things for them (what is it with people thinking that just because you're a SAHM, you have time to do all kinds of things for them???) but never want to repay the favor. So... I kinda got off topic lol but how do you find that time for just you and DH... how do you find sitters for special occasions/celebrations??
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Last edited by Mama to 4 Monsters; March 15th, 2010 at 06:45 AM.
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  #2  
March 15th, 2010, 07:13 AM
tcmcmd's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 247
I am blessed to have a mother-in-law who raised 7 kids, so for her to take care of my 4 is no big deal. She loves it. The only problem is that she lives 8 hours away, so we really have to plan carefully to make it work. She babysits for us atleast once a year for us to take a couple's trip. She also will keep the kids at her house for several weeks over the summer. It gives hubby and I a chance to live like we are newlyweds again and the kids LOVE spending time at Grandma's house.

I'm not sure what I would do if I didn't have her. My parents would never be comfortable keeping my kids overnight. I have several friends that have babysitters that are middle-aged women and they will pay the to stay a weekend...but that gets very expensive. I hope you figure something out. Our last couple's trip was to Chicago We had a great time!
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  #3  
March 15th, 2010, 07:20 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
I agree, find a way to make this happen. We will either hire an older teen/college kid for a weekend or farm them out to their friends. Our families are too far and too uninvolved, so we don't count on them.

For date nights, we have been able to use our oldest as a sitter for a few years now. That has been awesome. Prior to that, we didn't go out often.

I will say the best thing to do is find some homeschooling families, invest in relationships, and you will find some middle/older teen girls who will be great.
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  #4  
March 15th, 2010, 07:26 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,174
I have one adult baby sitter who comes over every few weeks to babysit the four kids while I go to appts or for the occasional date night. I don't ask family, I pay people who are reliable, its easier.
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  #5  
March 15th, 2010, 07:38 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,741
For just a date night or something like that, I would have no problem finding a reliable teenager/neighbor, but for overnights, I'm really hesitant to go with anyone other than family due to a medical condition my son has. He chokes quite often and is often raspy sounding and really has to be watched close at times. My mom, as well as my MIL/FIL, are really cautious with him and know what to look for to prevent a problem from becoming a big issue, so really they are the only ones I'd feel comfortable keeping the kids overnight especially when we'll be this far away (Chicago is a 3 hour drive for us).
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Andrea, Mama to.. Noah (2006), Nickolas (2007), Alyzabeth (2008), and Savannah (2010)


Many Many Thanks to GraysMama (Chelsea) for my AMAZING Siggy!!!

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  #6  
March 15th, 2010, 08:17 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
Then I guess you have your answer. Just ask nicely. Even if they give you problems, just smile and nod. It will be worth the weekend trip.
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  #7  
March 15th, 2010, 09:40 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
We make due. We are very close friends with all of our neighbors, and the 3 connecting back yards are where most of our times are spent. During the summer the older kids stay out with us til dark or after, but they pretty much play with the other neighbor kids and aren't like taking care of a newborn out there if you know what I mean. During the winter we just watch tv after the kids go to bed. My mom moved after she divorced my dad, and has come once to let us go out to lunch but the time before that it was october of 08 when we went anywhere alone (Unless Sebastian's birth counts lol)
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  #8  
March 15th, 2010, 09:59 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
I don't have to worry about it, no dh/so, just me and the kiddo's.
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  #9  
March 15th, 2010, 03:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
We don't have family that will babysit either. They have volunteered, but whenever we ask, they have some excuse. We don't really have anyone else, so we make do a home. I understand 100%. I would ask the inlaws though if it's important to you. Good luck.
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  #10  
March 15th, 2010, 03:45 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,217
We haven't gone away overnight without the kids since '04, but I am fine with that honestly. Going out to dinner is nice though, I have family and friends that help with that. To be honest though I find myself thinking about the kids and enjoy my alone time with DH most when we are home and the kids are asleep. Most relaxing way to spend time with him

Hope you get to enjoy a weekend away
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  #11  
March 15th, 2010, 04:01 PM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 8,418
We have family near by that will help us out when needed. But we rarely ever do overnights. Actually, the last overnight trip we planned, I still ended up taking the baby.
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  #12  
March 15th, 2010, 05:43 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
We make due with what we get. Sometimes it will be just hanging out in the kitchen together when the kids are still awake but entertaining themselves with something or another and they have been asked (and still reminded) that sometimes we would like some time to 'adult' talk without interruptions.
Other times it will be after they are in bed, and twice a month my ex takes the kids for visitation (and absolutely refuses to see them any more than the one day 2 times a month).

We don't do date nights, it's just too tiring with our work schedules and things to do at home. We prefer to be at home being as lazy as we feel like.
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  #13  
March 15th, 2010, 07:10 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Andrews AFB, MD
Posts: 15,496
We pretty much just hang out after the kids go to bed too. It doesn't bother me too much, I figure they won't be this young forever. We rarely hire sitters because between the $10+ an hour they want, plus the cost of say dinner and a movie, I don't think it's worth it. Sometimes we will trade off sitting with a friend - I'll watch her kids one night and she'll take mine another. Lately though I'm been calling in all my babysitting favors for when I have OB appointments. We also go home to visit our relatives twice a year, and we usually get a night or two out then as well.
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