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How common is it?

Forum: Large Families


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May 2nd, 2010, 10:03 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 237
I don't know how this situation fairs in America, but the perception of a 2 child family being the "norm" seems extremely common. And slightly annoying.

More so, I feel, because it's my own in-laws that were adamant at my desire for a third child, regardless of the fact that I already had my pigeon pair (aka boy, then girl) so why should I want another child. It was very much seen that you only try for a third if you have 2 children of the same gender.

Granted #4 was/is a huge surprise that we weren't expecting at all, but welcome all the same.

When it comes to my in-laws family. All MIL's siblings (there's 3 plus 1 step sibling) have 2 children, not all were lucky to have one of each. And in FIL's... well all but one sibling has 2 kids. There's 3 siblings also. And for the cousins that are old enough, all have only 2 children. We are the sole exception, moreso now that #4 is on the way.

To be honest, it bugs me. My own mum was the youngest of 5, and my Dad the oldest of 3, as well as having twin sisters that died shortly after birth. (so 5 in total)

I don't know exactly what my parents stance on our family size was. My mum seemed happy with the prospect of three grandkids, sadly she passed away before #3 was born. My dad was definitely shocked by #4 but in his words "Oh well, not like I can do anything".

Part of me just wishes that society in general would steer away a little from the 2 children norm. Anyone else?
Mummy to,
Alexander Drake b. 3rd January 2006
Lilia Fae b. 15th October 2007
Caleb Orion b. 10th October 2008
Quinn Gilead b. 19th August 2010

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May 3rd, 2010, 04:19 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,680
Well, I do think that people tend to be shocked when you go for more than two children. After three then you must just be CRAZY to want more. Honestly, I would think that anything after four - people would just begin to shut their mouths. After four, they just simply have no idea how many you are planning and probably decide to keep quiet. They just know you are crazy rather than say it out loud.

Although, I only have four, so I can't be sure of this.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy!!!

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May 3rd, 2010, 06:59 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
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Well c'mon, two kids, one boy, one girl is ideal. If you can wrap that pretty package with a lil house with a white picket fence and a dog then you are just perfect!

I was never "perfect", never wanted to fit in someone pretty picture. I just do what I want, and if no one likes it.....screw 'em.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
Welcome to the world lil' man!!
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May 3rd, 2010, 07:03 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Andrews AFB, MD
Posts: 15,496
Yeah it's like that here too. Although I didn't get TOO many comments when my third was born. Now that I am hugely pregnant with #4 everyone seems shocked, lol.
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May 3rd, 2010, 08:24 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
My grandma on my dad's side had 2 sons, then my dad had 2 and his brother also had 2. Before she passed away she made a comment about if I was going to get fixed or something, but I didn't really take it to heart.
I personally know a lot of people who have more than 2 kids, esp in my neighborhood. There's a lot of 3's but then there are some 1's too. My parents have never said anything about the number of kids we have.

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May 3rd, 2010, 08:46 AM
kassia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 12,631
My MIL had two kids and honestly never expected her two kids to have more then two each. She was shocked at us having five
Mom of
Sam 13, Hannah 11, Gabriel 7, Emma 6 and Brayden 2

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May 3rd, 2010, 09:44 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
We come from 2 kids on each side all the way down. It's just what our families do. Than comes us. I think our families are a little embarrassed by us honestly, like no one has ever told us about birth control before
Jesus loving, homeschooling, gardening lover, devoted wife to a wonderful hubby and 10 kids, ages 13 down to 12.5 months . We are expecting number 11 due January 1st, 2015.

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May 3rd, 2010, 09:05 PM
SnowAngel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 1,308
My mom didn't want me to have anymore kids after I had my first two. but that stems from the fact she really doesn't like kids. (mostly the germs, snot etc. not the kids themselves)
I know she is not going to be happy when she finds out we are TTC our last child. She comes from a family of four kids and my grandma from a family of 7 kids. I know that my grandfather on her side was 4+. My fathers side, I don't know how many siblings he has, I just know its more than 4-5.

Big families shouldn't be a surprise for my family. It just that my mom's generation didn't have that many kids. my mom had 3, my aunt had 1 and my uncle had 2 and my other uncle none.
Me~42 Dh~43
DD~17 yrs, DS~16yrs, DD~8yrs

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May 5th, 2010, 01:01 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,385
no one seemed to be all that surprised by us having a bunch, but I think mostly they just thought that we would keep going untill we had THE boy.
That ticks me off too, it's like our girls are only good enough as long as there's a boy in the mix too.
I am the only person I know of my age that had 5 on purpose lol.
mom of 5 girls
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