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December 20th, 2010, 04:44 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,385
I heard someone say the other day that the first kid is the experiment, because parents are figuring out what works and what doesn't.

I'm not crazy about the term, and I think it was maybe true a little as babies (who cares if you're supposed to roll over at 4 months and you're not doing it 'till 6 months) but for me my kids are SO different that what one needed another totally didn't.

What do you think?
mom of 5 girls
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December 20th, 2010, 06:02 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
I think our first suffered the most, since we had NO CLUE what we were doing. I was told to feed the baby every 3 hours. Even if he was hungry at 2 hours as a nb. Not pretty.
I was also very rigid about starting solids etc exactly on time, though I see that people are still starting their 4 month old on toast, and seem to be doing just fine.

#5 is gonna be lucky if it gets solids before it has all its teeth

I use instinct and common sense more and more. Feed it if its hungry. Starting solids is super messy. Lessons learned

Lucky mother to five!

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December 20th, 2010, 06:29 PM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,672
I think this is somewhat true. Of course every baby is different I just think as we have more children our knowledge base grows. Of course since every baby is different we tweak certain things that worked but at least we have a little more confidence when we do it.
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December 20th, 2010, 06:45 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 5,217
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I joke to people that Sapphire was my practice baby. I don't REALLY think of her existence as a trial run for my other babies, but in a lot of ways I had more trial and error efforts with her than the others, so she did break me into parenting.

Mom x 5

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December 20th, 2010, 08:14 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,298
I would say the first is a very controlled experiment...too controlled LOL

I had about 6 baby expert books and I could quote from them. I was totally freaked over every milestone. And I shake my head over remembering how disappointed I was over his potty training and lack of speech. It breaks my heart to think of the pressure I probably put on him.

I am waaaaaay more relaxed now. Last summer my mom visited and made mention of how lucky Martin is. I really feel like he's the luckiest of the 4. Not only does he get a totally pressure-free childhood but he has 3 older sibs who love and care for him as much as his mom and dad.
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December 22nd, 2010, 06:22 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,680
I agree with that a little. Marie - I was similar to you - I was rigid about the every three hours feeding even though my heart was telling me to feed her. I listened to my own mother and my MIL and there advice was outdated and went against my gut. By the time I had Erin I decided I was doing it my way and things went much smoother for me.

I still feel like Kelsey is my "guinea pig". I am flying by the seat of my pants - and parenting a teenager. By the time Erin gets to be a teen I will already know all the things Kelsey tried to pull on me.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy!!!

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December 22nd, 2010, 08:30 AM
ImustBeNuts06's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 12,129
Sure, the terminology is a little off...but still kind of true.

I know I went through a lot more trial and error with my daughter than any of my other kids. All I had to go by was what I read in the books......that was what I aimed for. Including trying to force her to sleep in her own crib and CIO at 3 months. I made a lot of mistakes and learned SO much from her. I feel bad, but she has taught me how to be a mom.....and let go....burn the darn books!!!

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December 22nd, 2010, 08:19 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 164
I don't like the expression much. If i was using the term i could probably say that each of my kids have been an experiment as I worked out what worked best for them individually. I definetely had to learn more of the basic care things when my first was a baby but as for managing behaviours etc I've had to learn each time what works best for each child.
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