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Raising a large family??


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
July 4th, 2011, 06:34 AM
ElizabethS's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
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For those of us that aren't rich (or don't have to worry about money anyways)...how do you do it? Do you budget? Does either yourself or DH SAH? Do you both work? How do you juggle both work and so many children?

Do you have a specific budget for clothing, food, bills, etc? What about housing? Do you rent or own? Do your children share bedrooms? How many sqft do you have (and how many children)?'

What do you think are the benefits of having a large family? The drawbacks? What do you wish you could change (i.e. more time in the day...being able to stay at home...etc?)



<<<For us, I am the primary breadwinner at this time. I'd love to be a SAHM but I have the degree and the decent paying job. DH is going to school online for computer systems analyst, and is being a SAHD right now because it would not pay for us to put the kids in daycare, even with our oldest starting kindergarten.

I budget and re-budget very very often. We allocate every dollar to a certain category, and whatever we have left over after the end of the month we set aside in savings. We do give up certain things...like we very rarely if ever go out to eat, and we buy a lot of our stuff secondhand but its usually almost if not brand new, just a 1/4 of the price. We gladly give up illusions of living with grandour in return for our children's bubbly faces and love that they return to us.
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Momma to Alex (2005), Cadence, (2008), Ethan (2010), Brayden (2012), and Adrianna Elise due September 19th 2014

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  #2  
July 4th, 2011, 08:26 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 6,406
We actually both stay home. But he works. I just kind of hang out. We have 1400 sq ft. The kids rooms are 10x11 and there are 4 in each (2 sets of bunks).

We are pretty much broke all the time because we don't work from a budget. I have been feeling a little, no a lot, of guilt here lately because we have nothing to show for years of being out of debt. We just buy what we need when we need it. No planning. We don't buy much stuff, because I hate stuff. But there always seems to be something each month that costs $200 and we are back to zero.

We spend most of our extra money on going out to eat. It is a TERRIBLE habit. I am trying to break it.

We have no savings. I am not proud. I am worried something will happen that we can't pay for.

But in the end it is my poor discipline, not the number of children, that is too blame. If we had fewer or none, we would just spend more and I would be fatter.
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  #3  
July 4th, 2011, 08:41 AM
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I am sahm for now. We have talked about me going back to work, but that is on hold until the kids get a little bigger. Things are tight on one income. We drive two older cars with no payments, we very rarely eat out, and I buy most of the kids' clothes and toys used. DH and I pretty much don't buy clothes. We splurge on sending the kids to some day camps, letting them play sports, and going on date nights like every two months. Babysitters are expensive! We also have four pets, and vet bills can be high. Vacations pretty much mean camping...we do that on the cheap too. We have a very nice comfortable life, but yeah, I do have to think about our budget pretty much all the time.
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  #4  
July 4th, 2011, 08:56 AM
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We live on one income. I stay home and homeschool. So really our food bills are higher than they would be if we sent our kids to schools...but anyway...this works for us. We dont get a lot of extras...we dont buy a bunch of name brand clothes...but our children are fed well and clothed and happy....that is all that really matters.

We rent our home (in fact we are moving to a new rental this weekend)....until dh is done with school and has whatever job he wants and we find our "forever home". We both drive older vehicles that are paid off....we bought both of them outright with income returns. We have no debt really...just a couple little things we are using to build our credit with.

Anyway...it works for us. I wouldn't trade places with anyone...yeah...it'd nice to have more money and such but money doesn't equal happiness....we make do....sometimes it's harder than others. Sometimes making do takes a lot of stretching and stressing and sometimes it comes easy....it's easier now than it has been for years and we have more kids now obviously
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Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #5  
July 4th, 2011, 09:42 AM
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Posts: 8,386
For those of us that aren't rich (or don't have to worry about money anyways)...how do you do it? Do you budget? Does either yourself or DH SAH? Do you both work? How do you juggle both work and so many children?

I am a SAHM, and do the financial aspect of our farm and do milk the occasional cow, dh is the farmer. Dh has to work really long days sometimes, but is really good at leaving things be and taking time for the kids. Bless his heart, I'm not like that, but I am so glad for it, in the end more money isn't going to make up for lost time with the kids.

Do you have a specific budget for clothing, food, bills, etc? What about housing? Do you rent or own? Do your children share bedrooms? How many sqft do you have (and how many children)?' We own our house, we have 3500 square feet, and each of our kids have their own bedroom. I do not have a specific budget, but since I am the one in charge of the money I know how to spend and not spend it. The drawback of this is that there's really never any "extra" but the joy of this is that I can buy all the neccesities. We don't really eat out, go to the movies that kind of stuff. Our kids do go to a private Christian school, but this is an absolute priority to us, but it does cost $550 a month.

What do you think are the benefits of having a large family? The drawbacks? What do you wish you could change (i.e. more time in the day...being able to stay at home...etc?)
I love having a large family, I guess the only drawback I can really think of is that I have to spend too much time on the domestic aspect of things. As far as finacially, I think we would spend the same amount of money, but spend it differently, my kids would have more and nicer clothes, we'd eat out more and actually go to the movies and stuff, but in the end those things really don't matter.
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  #6  
July 5th, 2011, 04:26 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
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We got ourselves well established with careers, homes, vehicles and worldly trips before we had kids, so I know that was a big plus. This is our third owned house in the 11 years we've been together, I work from home online full time, dh has one full time job and two other casual jobs; this allows us additional family/couple vacations. We drive three old vehicles with currently no payments, and we don't have alot of toys compared to everyone else who lives around us. This is our biggest house right now, the market has been very, very good to us here, so we are really fortunate to live up here with this economy-our jobs are not economy driven, more like stupid-driven.
Our priorities right now are to keep me wah, saving for kids' educations and our retirements, working at paying down the house, and learning to live with needs not wants. We're both starting our Masters in Education this Sept which is being offered locally, and I'm not sure what opportunities that will provide us in the future, but it can only help. We've very fortunate we got our lives figured out before we had five in five
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  #7  
July 5th, 2011, 07:40 PM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmers-wife View Post
We actually both stay home. But he works. I just kind of hang out. We have 1400 sq ft. The kids rooms are 10x11 and there are 4 in each (2 sets of bunks).

We are pretty much broke all the time because we don't work from a budget. I have been feeling a little, no a lot, of guilt here lately because we have nothing to show for years of being out of debt. We just buy what we need when we need it. No planning. We don't buy much stuff, because I hate stuff. But there always seems to be something each month that costs $200 and we are back to zero.

We spend most of our extra money on going out to eat. It is a TERRIBLE habit. I am trying to break it.

We have no savings. I am not proud. I am worried something will happen that we can't pay for.

But in the end it is my poor discipline, not the number of children, that is too blame. If we had fewer or none, we would just spend more and I would be fatter.

FW - you sell yourself short. You don't just "hang out". You are homeschooling and raising wonderful kids!

I tell dh all the time. There are more important things than money. We are happy, the kids are happy, and we spend a lot of time together. They aren't going to remember your savings, only your time together. It would be wonderful to have a large amount in savings, but for us not realistic. We get by, and no one does without. We accepted a long time ago that we would not be rich.

And to the OP. It's lifestyles that are expensive - not kids. We have modified ours accordingly.
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  #8  
July 8th, 2011, 09:44 AM
luvHim's Avatar Expecting #6
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: where love grows
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This is interesting! I love seeing tips on how to do it better than we have been. We have 5 kids and I am a SAHM, although I'm starting a small home business. Dh is gone 5 days a week working. Every penny is pinched around here. I feel like a chipmunk on payday......just love to stick a little in savings before Dh even sees his direct deposit hit the checking account.

Clothes are hand-me-downs from other large families, or thrift store. Last year, I did buy some one pair of brand-new jeans for my two oldest boys. Yay Sears Kidvantage! I think that is the first new ones they've had since they were in diapers. LOL But they were just as happy in thrift store jeans!

The one thing that really gets us during school months is the gas bill. Ugh. What do you all do? We drive our kids to and from school everyday, 22 miles roundtrip. I'd really like to sell our house and move closer, but housing market is really bad here right now. We could homeschool, but our children love our private church school we send them to. And dh and I both want them to go. So we cut back in other areas to make that happen.

Oh, and Costco is my best friend! LOL Anybody else have one close? I think I make up for the membership fee just in my laundry soap per year alone. Great place, but you have to shop there a while to find out what you really like, otherwise you end up buying big bags of stuff and not really using it.
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  #9  
July 8th, 2011, 10:16 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,174
I've gotten pretty frugal (cheap!) with certain things, esp with things that literally get washed down the drain: I figure out how much I spend on laundry soap and buy accordingly, one of our local No Frills had brand name soap for half the price per load than the onsale Costco brand--I stocked up and bought 14 bottles. Food costs alot up here, as do clothes so I don't mind working at keeping those cheap. Wish I could do extreme couponing, but Canada's not very good with coupon-offerings. I'd be one of those extreme coupon hoarder people with a garage full of free toothpaste!
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  #10  
July 8th, 2011, 11:25 AM
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Posts: 2,797
I guess we budget. We have a set amount we save each month and a certain amount we spend each month. That's it. We have a 1300 sq ft house for the soon to be 11 of us, but we have lots of barns and storage buildings outside. I am a sahm and a homeschooling mom as well. This is a priority for us. My DH works FT and we also farm PT. The Lord has always provided for our needs, not our wants. So we keep that in mind, pray, and carry on!
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  #11  
July 8th, 2011, 04:07 PM
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We don't budget at all right now. There have been times when we've really needed to and we have. We have a small business and sometimes times are good and sometimes they're bad. Right now, times are great. Dh does the main work, I push papers. We don't have debt, besides our house (own). And soon to be hospital bills for this baby, but we'll be able to pay those off pretty quick. We buy clothes on sale, usually at outlets where everything is already cheaper. I rarely pay full price. So, yeah. We do what we can when we can, and skimp when we have to. We also have savings that can last us a few months when needed.
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