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What in the world is going on????


Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
August 18th, 2011, 06:00 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
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In the spring I learned that my aunt and uncle were separating after 26 years of marriage. He just decided that he didn't want to be married and moved out.

Yesterday I found out that another aunt and uncle - who celebrated 28 years in June - separated in July. She packed up and moved out. I don't know any details about that.

It's hard to imagine that after 20+ years of marriage it is that easy to walk away from. Dh says that after 20+ years it's easier - because the wife is entitled to more money. (At least here)

I used to think if you made it to 20 - it could only get easier. Way to shatter my perception.
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  #2  
August 18th, 2011, 07:10 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My parents got divorced when I was 24. They were married for 22 years. I still haven't gotten over it, they are both re-married, my mom (who left) got remarried 1st. I have a harder time accepting her husband than my dad's wife. It's more because it's not her 'fault'. Ya know?
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  #3  
August 19th, 2011, 05:15 AM
HippyMomOf4's Avatar Hippy Mom Extraordinaire
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Location: Tulare, CA
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Wow! I worry about my parents divorcing sometimes and they have been married 30+ years
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  #4  
August 19th, 2011, 06:13 AM
babydahl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've seen it happen with people I know too and it always takes me by such surprise. For the couples that I know, generally they've waited until all their kids are out of the house to pull the plug.
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  #5  
August 19th, 2011, 06:19 AM
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Let me blow your mind.

My neighbors got divorced last year. They were married over 45 years. SERIOUSLY?!?! They sold the beautiful house they raised their 5 children in and he still drives by slowly and looks at the house I told Rich that when we are senior citizens if we decided we didn't want to be married, I would get a hobby not divorce him. Could you imagine being married for all those years and then getting divorced when you are almost 70?
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  #6  
August 19th, 2011, 09:48 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow Jess. I could not imagine at all. That's so sad.
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  #7  
August 21st, 2011, 05:14 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've also recently seen quite a few couples who end it once the kids are gone, some people tolerate alot in their marriages
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  #8  
August 21st, 2011, 06:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Michigan
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Sad
I sometimes wonder why people wait for 20+ years if things were bad.
Is it really better for the kids that way?
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  #9  
August 22nd, 2011, 07:27 AM
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My SIL and BFF both went through their parents divorcing as soon as they moved out. They both had to go through a lot of parental fighting and then when they moved out they could never go "home" beause it dissolved when tey left. That's heavy stuff when you are starting out in the world, kwim? If I ever talked to someone that was "doing it for the kids" I'd have to ask them how that is helpful??
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  #10  
August 22nd, 2011, 01:30 PM
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Years ago when I told my pastor that I didn't have a marital crisis at the 7 year mark, he said wait for 12 or then 25. Things can fall apart at any years, but from experience that's what he's seen. I guess it's a "now or never" thing when the kids leave. One of my BFF's parents also divorced after she moved out, and like the others said, it's still really tough.
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  #11  
August 22nd, 2011, 05:40 PM
ElizabethS's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That's so sad to hear
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  #12  
August 22nd, 2011, 07:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommySiobhan View Post
Sad
I sometimes wonder why people wait for 20+ years if things were bad.
Is it really better for the kids that way?
My parents divorced after my younger brother graduated high school. My mom saw a lawyer two days after my brother graduated. Things at home were AWFUL throughout our entire childhood and my brother and I had been encouraging my mom to divorce my dad for years before she actually did. When I asked my mom why she waited so long and she told me "It was better for you kids that I waited," I asked her how she thought it was better because we went through so much with them fighting and my dad's alcoholism and abuse. She told me it was better for us because as long as they were married she'd be able to be right there the entire time he was around us. If she divorced him, we could have been court ordered to see him unsupervised and then she'd have no idea what situations we were in and powerless to protect us if she wasn't there. I think that's how they rationalize it being "better for the kids" to stay together.
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