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Forum: Large Families

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  #1  
October 23rd, 2011, 10:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,142
I only have two kiddos. A three year old daughter and a three month old daughter. Having my second daughter has just made me want even more kids! I always wanted a "big" family (first three, now I want four). I don't know if my husband will want more when this one's a little older but hopefully. Don't know if we'll be blessed with more even if we do try as I am what the medical community horribly terms a "habitual aborter" (recurrent miscarriages). So hopefully we'll try in a year or two and will be blessed with a sticky baby. I don't know how we'll manage though-two kids feel so overwhelming to me right now. My husband is working 80-90 hour weeks though, with only one day off or none at all. How do you know you are the "right" person to have more kids? I feel like I'm being to hard on my three year old (we never had the terrible two's but the three's have hit with a vengeance!) but she's a very rough and tumble child and I'm afraid she's going to accidentally hurt her baby sister. The question you ladies always get, how do you manage? Not the financial aspect but just...manage having many children, the home/emotions of many people/husband/pets/etc all that part of it? Waiting till your in the perfect financial spot to have kids means you'll never have kids period, it's the rest of it. I only have two and I can barely get out of the house unless we're going to Grandma's but for Grandma's I don't even need to bring a diaper bag, she keeps diapers there (the girls have their own room there). I do have a huge blessing in that Grandma and Grandpa would be thrilled with a couple more grandkids I think-they had four kids themselves. Nola only stopped because she had a miscarriage ): then her next baby was born blue due to his cord being wrapped around his neck so he had to be rushed away and resuscitated. Between that scare with David and the miscarriage, they decided to stop. So I would have family support. There's a lot of family nearby. My family's reaction to another baby would be more like "what are you thinking?". My mom only had two kids, neither one of us planned and she made sure there'd be no more oops after me (she is a great mom who loves us very much). Most of the moms I'm friends with have one or two and a couple have three. My baby's only three months old, I shouldn't be so obsessed with having more already!
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  #2  
October 24th, 2011, 05:00 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,492
Welcome and congrats on your new baby girl!

I know a lot of people say that going from 1 kids to 2 kids can be a tough transition but anything after that everything seems to fall into place a bit faster.

As far as how I do it? Just like anyone else with 1 or 2 kids. I wake up and do what needs to be done.

It would be fantastic to have support from grandparents! We have support from some of them but they live pretty far away (5hrs and 10+ hrs).

I think most people today think you are a little nutty if you have more than 2 or 3 kids. I think all of us have gotten comments from strangers, friends and even close family that have been less than positive. You just learn to ignore those hurtful comments and focus on the positive ones you get (and you will get some Wonderful comments!)

I tend to get baby fever right after having a baby too. That's would be why my kids are so close together so just know you are certainly not alone in that department.
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  #3  
October 25th, 2011, 07:42 AM
Momof4Boyz's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 8,355
I actually never thought we'd have a "big" family, we always said 2 kids and 4 later.. lol. We don't have a lot of family support though, but I think having our family kind of big makes up for it. We do get a lot of comments, probably more because we have 4 boys than just the fact we have 4 kids. But as far as having a large famliy - I agree w/ the PP that you just get up and do what needs to be done. It's really no different than having 1 or 2 kids... you just do everything X4 instead of 2 lol.
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  #4  
October 25th, 2011, 07:49 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
My parents live near, but it's not like they volunteer to come over and just randomly spend time with the kids or anything.. DH's parents have never and will never meet the kids.

You usually get really awesome comments from old people who grew up on a farm and had 15 siblings them self

Like the other ladies, you just do it! I think it's harder to go from 2-3 than 1-2. Not just everyone can handle a lot of kids, but if you just take it a day at a time it can be done
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  #5  
October 25th, 2011, 09:20 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
Yeah, I wouldn't go back to 2 for love or money. Those were hard days! Now I have a little army of minions to do my bidding. I don't do dishes, give baths, fold laundry, or clean bathrooms, take out garbage, feed animals, or much of anything besides cook and drive. I like cooking and driving.

We have always just taken it one baby, one day at a time. If you are in agreement, just ignore what the world says about birth control or limiting family size and just live your life happily as married people and see what happens. I do believe, though, that if one of you wants to say "no" that needs to be respected.

Congrats on the new baby!
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