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The Duggars and Bates families

Forum: Large Families


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June 5th, 2012, 10:14 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 223
What's your opinion of them? I LOVE them! I aspire to be like them. I think Michelle gets a bad rap.
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June 6th, 2012, 05:13 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Australia
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Dont know who the Bates family are.

The Duggars are too full on for my liking. I assume most of it is for the show, but the gender inequality, the passive-ness of the parents, Jim Bob's general way he goes about things in the most indirect manner, the fact that most of the kids dont really seem to have social lives, it all just bothers me.

And I honestly do think that given the outcome of the past two pregnancies, the things that poor little Josie went through, Michelle's health problems, and then the miscarriage, its probably time to give sex a bit of a break. I really do think that if you are against contraception, thats fine, but there are a LOT of kids in that family who need their mother, and I honestly thing that needs to be taken into higher consideration.

I also have a theory (and this is 100% just my brain talking here, no proof whatsoever) that Michelle is much more intelligent than she lets on, when she speaks you see these little glimpses of a very intelligent woman, but then they just show her saying a lot of silly things, the one that stands out in my mind is the episode where Josie was in the NICU and Michelle was yammering on to the doctor about her 'diet' breast milk, and the doctor was pulling this strange face because she wasnt making any sense. I just get this sad feeling that she is edited / encouraged by producers to seem really passive and dense, because of the target audience and the religious setting they are in, the idea of this helpless, sweet mother of a massive family is more endearing than a strong, intelligent, witty mother of a massive family.
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June 6th, 2012, 05:18 AM
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We have zero in common, but they seem like nice people and loving parents. My only issue is that I think it is really odd how their girls have gone nowhere and done nothing. Several of them are in theri twenties now...shouldn't they be off to college or something? I guess they are just waiting to get married and start a family, but not everyone marries. And not every marriage lasts. I don't know, I just think it's nice to have a back-up plan. What would it hurt for them to go to school and work a few years before marriage?
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June 6th, 2012, 07:07 AM
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I read one of their books, and I can certainly appreciate them, and I share a lot of their beliefs. Where we differ is that they seem to live in a coccoon and I always think that if you believe that God is as strong and mighty as He is, they shouldn't be afraid of the world, they should have confidence in their faith to navigate the world around them.
But I always think that if you're going to be extreme, I'd rather have everyone be at the Duggar end of it rather than the opposite.
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June 6th, 2012, 08:31 AM
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I don't really have the time to care what the Duggars do, they seem okay, a little to "perfect" for my taste, but whatever. Have no clue who the Bates are.
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June 6th, 2012, 09:02 AM
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I don't know much about the Bates except for the few times they were on the show. I love the Duggars, not their belief system, but they do crack me up. They have one little boy who is so full of it. I just love that kid lol
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June 6th, 2012, 03:03 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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OH I know which episode youre talking about, ive seen that one and yes, that didnt sit right with me either.

The one that REALLY bothers me was the one where he took the girls to donate blood, even though some of them didnt want to and one wasnt of legal age yet, as opposed to taking all the kids of legal age. Then straight after they gave blood the girls had to go and do the grocery shopping for the entire family and they were wobbly and not thinking right and saying how tired and sick they felt. It just really upset me because whilst giving blood is amazing, it is a personal choice to do it or not, only one of the girls actually wanted to do it, the others had to be coaxed into it (which was prolonged because king doofus didnt click that they would need ID to prove their ages and identities) after he just sprung it on them "GUESS WHAT WERE DOING IN AN HOUR!" then after doing something good, he sent them out to do something they werent feeling up to yet. It was like they were punished for doing something good.
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June 6th, 2012, 04:24 PM
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
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about the dugger girls: the kids are not allowed to go to college or higher education. they promote a 'college' online program but it is not accepted by any other school as it is not accredited.

the girls are not allowed to marry unless the dad basically picks out the husband for them. he can say no to someone of their choice and in fact it is rumored among those who watch the show and have inside knowledge supposedly, that he declined a husband for the oldest daughter jana. they are destined to live at home and raise the kids till most if not all of them are adult, again the opinion of this particular forum i frequent. in quiverful, it is not uncommon for this to happen.

also as for the boys, they are expected to find jobs working for themselves so that they are never under leadership of a woman (women are not meant to hold jobs -- they are meant to run homes and have babies) as well as they are able to be home to influence their families as much as they feel they need. with a career or regular job, they would not have that freedom.

before you think i am anti this stuff let me say that i am a Christian, believe in the headship of the husband to a degree and have no issues with the Duggers per se. i just don't agree with their Gothard theology AT ALL. that said, i enjoy watching their show but i do find myself criticizing how things are handled in their family. michelle is probably quite smart in some areas but does play to the inferior role quite a bit. Jim Bob, well he just plain and simply bugs me.

that is WAAAAY to much dugger info for this forum, right? : )
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June 6th, 2012, 04:27 PM
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From what I've seen on the show, I think they are good people and obviously know how to raise large families. I would never want to live my life like that, but if they are happy then good for them!
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June 6th, 2012, 05:07 PM
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Posts: 223
I don't believe in the Gothard ethos. Eric and I are equals, our kids will have their own lives. We just love the idea of raising a large family.

Last edited by dannimom; June 6th, 2012 at 05:08 PM. Reason: fix run-on sentence
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June 6th, 2012, 05:15 PM
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I think they seem to be a great family and seem to be doing a wonderful job. I have huge respect for families that hold strong values and beliefs, actually live them, and pass them on to their children. (If the girls are in their 20's - and they didn't agree with the way things were, they could leave!)

I have read one of their books - (only watched one or two episodes of their show.) The only thing that I have a hard time with is that they can make it seem like in order to have a large family you have to have, say, a bus, industrial kitchen, 6 laundry machines, etc... I know a few families personally, with 17+ kids and they live with very modest means.
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June 7th, 2012, 01:48 AM
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Wow, I never knew all that stuff MIL2lissy8.

I will be 100% honest here, I am a very proud feminist. I would be nothing but disappointed in my children, both female and male, if they did not identify as feminists either, so reading all that was pretty hard for me, and comprehending it just does not compute in my mind.

On the topic of "if they didnt like it, they would leave" well, not exactly. My parents are VERY religious, and I disagree on a moral level with a lot of what they stand for, I was in my late 30's before I stood up to them and severed ties, and they pushed me very far for that. It is HARD to leave all you know, and even if you are unhappy, if you have nothing to run to, then you dont leave. I had everything and I still took that much time to assert myself and stand up for my morals. Just food for thought.

(For reference, I have nothing against religious people, it just happens that my parents are both religious and horrible, the religious ties in to the Duggars, I dont believe the horrible does, so not making those links there)
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June 7th, 2012, 06:02 AM
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Leave and do what? They have no job skills and a very limited education.
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June 7th, 2012, 07:05 AM
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I really like what cybelle has to say about them. That pretty much sums up how I feel too.

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June 7th, 2012, 07:19 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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Edit to remove post

Last edited by KrazE; July 10th, 2012 at 07:07 AM.
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June 7th, 2012, 08:13 AM
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I don't see JimBob as a tyrant at all, I understand what is being said about the kids not having freedoms etc. but there are far far far worse ways to be.

LOL, I'll have to get back to you all, but in another 5-10 years the dad picking out the husband thing might sound pretty good to me
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June 7th, 2012, 10:07 AM
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I really don'tmind them, while I don't believe in all that they do they seem pretty harmless, the kiddos seem happy, to me that's what matters most. I like watching their shows it does seem like Michelle dumbs it down a bit but I still think she has some admirable traits. Jim Bob does bother me sometimes but that could just be editing too. I know that my family wouldn't look as good as it does on the outside if I had film crews video my daily life. We make mistakes too but my oopses aren't broadcast to the viewing public def some safety in that.

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June 7th, 2012, 12:48 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's a nice TV show. Never heard of the Bates family.

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June 10th, 2012, 03:25 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have seen a few shows with the Duggars. I don't think anyone can really judge them by what you see on TV.

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