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Forum: Large Families


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September 30th, 2012, 11:58 PM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 314
My sister says I am not allowing the kids to live in REALITY as reality is kids having their faces stuck to a screen of some sort and that is how the NEW social is and I better get with the plan!

This started because as I was talking to her on the phone I asked what the kids 11 and 8 yrs old were up to? Online gaming she said I asked oh what Game she said I don't know. I said ask them. She paused as if that was a bizarre concept then asked them. To make a long story short they were chatting with some on line gamer both boys together to some mystery guy who was talking about his wife in ways I can not repeat on here!

It gets better then she used one of their PC and said I don't think that appropriate to the 20 yr old. (If that really what he is)Eventually he told her off THEN she decided it was not a good thing and told the boys to get off. BY now I was speechless horrified and blown away that the boys were allowed to do this DAILY! It's normal and OK for kids to play games online with strangers who are any age she stated matter of factly that is the way it is now and I am a delusional to think otherwise!

If it was not for me asking about the boys and showing a interest in what they were doing at that moment she would have NEVER known this is what goes on! She is upset that the boys are now robbed to play online gaming unsupervised because of him(or whatever he claimed to be) how unfair to the boys they just loved that Violent shoot/hack them rated Teen and up game!

Am I nuts or can our kids still play and cummunicate with each other face to face? Is it harmful for for kids ages 18 to 2 to play baseball in the back yard? I still make the kids use a Phone book to find numbers and addresses sure it takes longer but your useing your Brian,

Only my 18 yr old and us have cell phones But we do use at home due to no signal The poor kids have to actually dial a number by hand and use a phone attached to the house to talk to friends lol

I have time limits on Internet/ x box/DS/Wii. We have I Pads/Pods ,lap tops ect but that stuff we use to ADD to our lives not BE our lives. Yes I do supervise ALL online activty when kids online. I trust them 100% I DO NOT trust the internet 100%.
Yes they can link together on their ds and stuff and play games with each other I am not that anti fun LOLOL I even play the kinect xBox with them lol The point is we play TOGETHER.

The TV is on after supper and we watch stuff together. We Talk to each other face to face LOL We even play board games like Nintendo edition Mario Monopoly ( I am not completely in the Stone Age) I even have the kids do chores daily!! Shame on me!

Sorry that just bugs me that she think I am hurting them by restricting and in some cases as online gaming I do NOT allow them to be involved in. I am hurting them socially by depriving Facebook accounts or twittering. Yeah..my kids don't have accounts These are kids almost 12 and under.

Ohh and on Friday we got a PostCard in the real Mail from ds who is in Kindie. They all wrote their family on a real postcard with a real pencil and walked to the post office from school and used a real stamp and mailed it LOL

My gosh what has this world come to allowing a child to use a sharp pointy object to write on something as fragile as paper?!?

Thanks for making it this far in my rant!!
Irene Mom to 9 and ttcing #10
Married to my best friend 23 yrs!
5 Girls and 4 Boys

9 First Trimester Angels
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Angel 17w Angel

DS 22(Mar12) DD 20(Jan3) DD 18(July6) DD 11(Oct18) DS 10(May18) DD 8(Jan9)
DS 7(Sept27) DS 5(Sept20) DD 2(June2)
TTCing #10 with unexplained infertility and 1 tube.

My Ovulation Chart

Last edited by 10thtimearound; October 1st, 2012 at 12:01 AM.
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October 1st, 2012, 03:43 AM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,249
We've been told our kids aren't the norm for this day and age, either. Mine don't have cell phone or ipods, etc. We do have an xBox but we almost never ever turn it on to play. My kids have Nintendo DS's and they get 30 minutes of play time each after their chores and homework are done for the day.

I do not give any of my children internet access, period. They can connect with eachother to play the DS but that's it. I do not give them free reign to play online with strangers.

My kids only get t.v. a couple times a week, and again, only if they've done their chores.

My kids go outside and get dirty. They play football, soccer, my DD runs cross country, and we have a small hobby farm with chickens, geese, ducks, a pot belly pig, 2 goats, and a calf plus 3 dogs and a bunch of cats. (I think we're adding a mini horse here soon).

I think everyone pretty much just decides what works for their family. I would say your sister is not the norm, because most parents I know DO pay attention to what and with whom their kids are playing, even online. The horror stories you hear about are the few cases that a parent didn't or that the kid snuck behind their parents backs. The news media is not going to tell you about the hundreds and thousands of parents/families who know exactly what their child is doing, because that is not news worthy to them.

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October 1st, 2012, 08:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,549
i totally agree with this whole thread. its a shame the way things are going in our lives -- technology should be an enhancement, not our whole existence.
what goes around, comes around.....
speak with kindness....

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October 1st, 2012, 08:15 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
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no ipads or pods, only two oldest have cell phones. oldest son has xbox, but he isnt even here much to play it. The other kids have a wii but it doesnt hold there attention much. we have one desktop pc, but the kids aren't on much and dh has a laptop but more to play music on...lol

I hate that kids dont go outside and play anymore. Our neighborhood is a ghost town. Mine go outside, but the neighbors complain about the kids stepping on their grass and balls going over their fence. ughhhh.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
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October 1st, 2012, 08:33 AM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,672
Well we are the opposite and are a very techy family. My kids have complete control to the internet. We have xbox and wii, we have iphones/ipods or an equal for the older kids. There are 5 computers in my house, three of the older have their own, plus mine and the one for the kids school. We even do online schooling We have tv's in almost every room. We like our technology.

My son's chats online (11) I do screen everyone though. he currently has a friend in Germany who is helping him with his German lessons. He chats on xbox and plays all of those violent games. Mainly with family, including his almost 50 year old uncle. Now having said that, they do go outside and play, they do interact with one another and other people. We only have cell phones, no landlines, but they are capable of using both. A phone book? Never owned them, before a computer I called 411, they've seen them though.

It's just a matter of perspective and balance really.
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October 2nd, 2012, 07:12 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
We are gadgetty too. I have a love/hate relationship with it, but since we live out in the country and can go for days without seeing other people, I guess I have to love it more than hate it. The big girls (16,13,11) all have their own laptops. The two oldest have Facebook, they all have email. I am particular about certain rules, they have to actually know a person to be friends with him/her or communicate. I dont allow them to post things about where we live, phone numbers, etc. But I am probably the worst offender. Anyone could find me easily if they wanted to. But we are home almost all the time, the kids are homeschooled, and I know pretty much where they are, all their friends, all the time, I am not too worried. I know they can start sneaking, but at some point they have to own their actions. Also, our computers have a dns filter that is pretty tight. From here they cant get any porn, you tube, or other stuff we have black listed. We cant even read legitimate health articles sometimes because it is flagged by the filter.
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October 2nd, 2012, 07:18 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
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My oldest three have facebook. I don't have an issue with them being on fb.

We might have more if I had money, I'd love an ipod. Ahhhhh...someday.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
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October 2nd, 2012, 08:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,740
people give me a hard time as well. The children have a computer attached to the internet but it is on the main floor so I can see it at all times from the kitchen and livingroom. There time is limited and its not daily. They have there own TV downstairs in the playroom but there is no cable attached they can only watch their movies and all the movies have been picked out by me so I know what options they have. There are a few options for the older kids but they are only allowed to watch it when the other kids are not there.
We have a wii, X-box, DS, and leap pads but the kids don't use these even on a weekly basis.
MOM of 6!

Mom to Premies, IVF mom,
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October 2nd, 2012, 11:37 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 66
I totally agree with OP and it is sad that it is considered 'normal' to sit with faces glued to phones, ipods, ipads, wii, television, laptop, etc. instead of having face time with family and siblings. Kids are losing the ability to communicate - it's sad but unfortunately the way the world is going. Who knows where we will end up, but hopefully I will not be around to see it!

We own 2 laptops, one is mine and only I touch it, the other one is for the kids to access free games on the internet. They each get half an hour if they have done their homework and chores. I monitor this closely to make sure they are only accessing the free game websites. I refuse to let my kids have facebook accounts as there is a huge amount of bullying and other stupid behaviour that goes on that is unnecessary. I know they will have to learn to cope with people and their b.s. but they are still a little young (9 is the oldest). None of them have cell phones as they are not necessary at a young age if mom drops them at school and collects them after, which I do. We have satellite television now (got it hooked up a few weeks ago) and that's it really.

As they get older and are able to show us that they are responsible enough we will think about adding to the technology we have in the house. But we can't keep replacing broken laptops and cell phones so it will have to wait until they are somewhat older!

Right now it's school holidays and the kids are outside on the giant trampoline!
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October 3rd, 2012, 08:00 AM
Momtothe6thpower's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Smalltown, USA
Posts: 8,418
I agree with the OP too. We are not living in the stone age we have a few things, Wii, Xbox, Ds, smartphones, #1 has a cell and netbook (sometimes). Yet, we don't rely on these items that much. We used to but I started limiting things because I didn't like what we were becoming. The kids probably haven't touched the Wii or Xbox in months. Not because they can't but because we got them involved in other things. We have a garage full of bikes, scooters, skateboards, powerwheels, toy kitchen, balls....lots of stuff, really. I'd much rather see my children put that stuff to use on a daily basis.

I'm also alarmed that the sister wasn't aware of who her kids were talking to online. That's just scary!
Cortney...mom to A, C, E, L, I, and R

When I'm Due...

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October 3rd, 2012, 11:30 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
Noah plays roblox at the neighbor's house a lot. My mom even got him a $$ card so he could buy some 'accessories' on roblox.

RJ has an addiction to the Kindle. He doesn't play games on it, he watches youtube videos of people playing mario... We have to hide them at night otherwise he'll get up at 2 am or something ridiculous and track one of them down.

The girls have no interest in games at all. It irritates me that their same age peers have cell phones though, and they'll call friends that are just around the block instead of walking their lazy ***** over there to see if they can play. My kids wont have cell phones until they are adults. Or maybe when they drive they can share one.

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October 3rd, 2012, 04:38 PM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,672
Originally Posted by Repti.Mom View Post
Noah plays roblox at the neighbor's house a lot. My mom even got him a $$ card so he could buy some 'accessories' on roblox.
Cole and Vanna have subscriptions to Roblox, it was a Christmas present and Aiden plays the free version. They are pretty strict to so I have no worries there. One time Vanna used the word boyfriend, not about a particular person, but someone on tv or something and she got banned for 24 hours. They only saw that one word and didn't look at the conversation as a whole...kinda irritated me, but not enough to make a stink lol

One I would suggest is Minecraft, it isn't free but I like it cause they have to use their imagination and a bit of science. In the simplest terms, they create a world, house, animals, fire etc,.. to do this they have to mine, and they need to create certain combinations in order to create the items they need. It's pretty cool, there is a free version only I don't think you can save on it and of course not all of the functions work.
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October 3rd, 2012, 05:10 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
oh 10th time I love you!! We are a TV free home and internet is filtered highly.
My oldest who is working went out and bought a smart phone and came home so happy, until Dad sent him back to store for refund. It was a $50 lesson, we filter internet for a reason and he is still 16 and in our home.
He got it, it took overnight, but he says he understands now. Unlimited internet? oh no!!!

WE do an one hour on computers here, with leniency if school and chores are done. I also apply that to me for playing...like leaving posts on forums. lol
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October 4th, 2012, 04:16 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,692
We have lots of technology here. We have an Xbox and PS3. The boys play those shooting games online with their cousins and other relatives. They are not violent kids and I feel that they know the difference between video games and real life so I am okay with it. My oldest has a laptop and an IPOD. We also have a household laptop and hubby and I share a laptop.

With that said we do monitor usage. We know what they are playing and who they are talking to. We check internet history as well. We do put time limits on them all. Screen time is only a small fraction of their day.

When monitoring usage we found that my 15 year old sd was talking to strangers on some website Omegle, that a friend showed her. We had a serious conversation with her about the dangers of that. When she did it again she lost all electronics for a month and a half. We also took away her privacy...she is no longer allowed to use any electronics unless she is in the familyroom where we can see it. She hasn't done it again.

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October 4th, 2012, 06:19 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,385
No one gets to chat with strangers online. They're not banned off the internet or anything, I strive to teach them to make wise choices, because eventually I won't be there looking over their shoulder, so I'd like them to know how to navigate the internet safely because of their own good decision making.

As far as time on screens, we have no screens (other than homework) monday to thursday. On saturdays I often say no screens from 10 am to 5 pm. It depends on the weather too, if it's gloomy and cold out and everyone is tired I let them have at it sometimes.
mom of 5 girls
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