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Kids walking in on "Adult time" : o what do i do??

Forum: Large Families


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October 24th, 2012, 05:24 AM
marlz_04's Avatar Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 40
OK.. so my oldest daughter 6 turning 7 walked in tonight on me and dh watching a porn : o . I jumped out of bed to shut door before she opened it tripped smashed my head.. dh jumps up from under the blanket naked.. I scream at her to get out... it was just a mess.

anyway so i talk to her.. and she was upset about me being angry at her.. which i wasnt, im more angry at myself for not locking the door. i thought i did but no... anywho.. i asked her what she seen and she said she only seen the part a boy wees out of and dad naked. and asked why i was watching it.

I feel like the worst person in the world right about now.. i feel like its wreck her innocence. like my kids see me and dh kiss but never nothing else.. they dont even see anything on tv really.. nothing bad.. next minute she sees im watchin a naked guy holdin his penis.

atm i feel sex is a bad thing.. porn is... I feel grossed by it.. like i cant even look at dh in that way.

I want to crawl in a hole...

anyone ever had anything happen?? if so what did you do, how where your kids?

I know this might not be the right place to post this but i dont know where else to..
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October 24th, 2012, 06:35 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
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IMO, it was blown out of proportion. I would have simply but firmly asked her to leave the room and I will be right there, I may have clicked the tv off with the remote.

Jumping out of bed, yelling, makes it seem like you and dh were doing something wrong, which of course, you weren't.

I would have put something on and gone to speak to her, explaining that she should knock for permission to come in before entering your room. (Dh and I have that rule with the kids, so even if our door isn't locked, they MUST knock).

I would have just explained that mommy and daddy were having "personal" time.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
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October 24th, 2012, 07:48 AM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,672
I'm going to assume this was the first time you have been caught. Usually the first time is the worst, yes it may happen again, it's just one of those things.

You are not the worst person in the world cause you got caught. If that's the case over half the population should be walking around with with a Scarlet "C" for getting caught.

If she brings it up again, answer as honestly as you can for a 6 year olds brain. The odd's are though that she will just move on from it and that will be the end of it.
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October 24th, 2012, 11:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
Honestly you are probably more tramaized than she is

I agree with the other ladies. Despite locks, or thinking we locked it, best intentions, it happens.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoying your hubby is a great thing.
Jesus loving, homeschooling, gardening lover, devoted wife to a wonderful hubby and 10 kids, ages 13 down to 12.5 months . We are expecting number 11 due January 1st, 2015.

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October 24th, 2012, 08:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,740
It happens. I think if you don't make a big deal neither will they. Mine have walked in on DH and me just starting to fool around, they have once saw an item DH forgot to put away. I just explained that its mommy and daddy time.

My oldest is starting to understand what that means and he once asked me if sex was fun, and some other personal questions. I answered some and some I told him were private between two people. He really wasn't traumatized he just kinda said OH.

Its nothing to be ashamed of. Its not like you are purposely trying to expose them to things they are too young for. a little accident here and there won't scar them for life.
MOM of 6!

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October 29th, 2012, 07:25 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 66
To put your mind at rest, I and my brother and sister quite often heard our parents 'going for it' on a Saturday afternoon. I was quite young if I recall, around 6 years of age too and although it 'grossed me out' it hasn't had any permanent effect on me. I have no hangups about sex, quite enjoy it in fact

As PP has stated, it probably traumatised you more than your DD!
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October 29th, 2012, 07:34 AM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,249
It is just one of those things that happens. I think our oldest was like 4 or so, and we were "into it" and it was like 5 am or so....I hear this "mommy, I had a bad dream...." I just thank God we were UNDER the covers lol

If you think your 6 year old walking in on it is bad, wait until it's your father in law.....
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October 29th, 2012, 08:52 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 6,194
We haven't been busted yet. But our room is also in the attic, so we can hear the kids coming up the stairs before they get to our room. If we were ever busted, it probably wouldn't surprise our kids too much. We are very open about sex and our kids know that mom and dad have sex and that's how babies are made- it's no secret around here. We hope that our kids know that sex is a great thing in the context of marriage and the fact that mommies and daddies do it should make them feel secure that we love one another. But generally, our room is a no-go zone. We have the baby in our room for the first year, but whenever they move out, we go to them and sleep in their room if they are having a hard time. We try to keep our bedroom as a sacred space so the kids don't even try to come to us very often, they just call out from their beds (we have monitors everywhere) and we go to them.
Previously known as ~~Que~~

Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
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