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How to deal with relatives

Forum: Large Families


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  • 2 Post By Farmers-wife
  • 1 Post By AmiraX4

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January 6th, 2013, 07:56 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,692
Hubby and I are a blended family. We are thinking of adding one more. We have a 1 year old together, the rest of our children we do have full-time and are from our previous marriages. We have gone back and forth on having another and are really excited about our decision to try for another.

The problem is our family...well mostly mine. I get comments all the time abut how our family is complete and we have our hands full. The other day a relative told me if I had another I would probably be in the looney bin. Honestly, I don't feel like my hands are too full. I don't feel overwhelmed. I feel busy, but I am going to be this busy whether I add another child to it or not. Plus my oldest two will be off to college in a few years (hopefully) anyways. We are not telling anyone we are thinking of having another. If it happens then obviously we will share when the time is right.

How do you deal with telling people you know are going to be negative?

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January 6th, 2013, 08:11 AM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
We don't. We just don't anymore. They eventually see it on Facebook or at thanksgiving. We don't care either.
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January 6th, 2013, 03:45 PM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 36,142
We don't go out of our way to tell people either, by the time they know, their comments don't matter.
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January 6th, 2013, 04:55 PM
HalfDozen's Avatar Formerly Number5OnTheWay
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,596
That's part of why I waited until when we went home for Christmas to tell anyone, and I was already 5 1/2 months along. I only got rude comments from 1 aunt, though so it was better than expected. Most people have enough sense not to say hurtful things.
Mommy to Jasmine (18), Kirsten (14), Ana (13), Katie (3), Xavier (1), and Gunnar (born 10-15-14)

New picture in progress......
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January 6th, 2013, 09:03 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,692
I live near some of my family, so they would know fairly early into a pregnancy.

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January 6th, 2013, 09:19 PM
Farmers-wife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,406
Still you don't have to tell them. I always tell people first who I know will be supportive and kind and gracious even if they don't want more. Then it will leak out over time. I haven't directly told my parents, inlaws or our sibs about the last three. They read it on fb whether I see them regularly or not. I know they don't approve. I know they don't like it. I don't care. It is not their penis, vagina, uterus, house, money, or time. They don't get a vote. Nor will I allow their negativity a place in my heart.
sarahlorrain and mom2more like this.
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January 6th, 2013, 09:24 PM
4 Boys & 4 Girls !
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,729
Just embrace your happiness with it and let everyone around feel your joy regardless of comments.....they will come around..... I hope you get your soon!!!
mom2more likes this.
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January 7th, 2013, 07:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
Agree with FW. We don't really get approval and just wait to tell everyone. My inlaws are "pretty good" with it, so we stick with that.
Jesus loving, homeschooling, gardening lover, devoted wife to a wonderful hubby and 10 kids, ages 13 down to 12.5 months . We are expecting number 11 due January 1st, 2015.

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