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really need some advice...not sure what to do at this point?

Forum: Large Families


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  • 3 Post By UrbanMomma
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May 16th, 2013, 11:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,749
So my husband did a really stupid and dangerous thing with our daughter. She is fine and it was a stupid mistake but I was furious. Long story short we fought about it for days, he walked out for hours, which just made me angry because he was the one at fault and running away won't solve what he did.

Anyway I kept trying to get him to sit and talk about things, as these days of fighting made us start fighting about other things too. He kept putting off talking, not really paying attention or just kept telling me to talk.

In a moment of frustration I ended up telling him that I can't trust him with the baby, and that if he refuses to talk about things then we are better off as friends and that I was done fighting but I was also done with us being a couple and we would just live together as co-parents.

Once I stopped trying to work on things all the fighting stopped and things were just calm and nice. He told me a few times over the next day that he still wanted us to be together and that he loves me but I kept shutting him down because honestly I liked that we were not fighting and just wanted the peace to stay.

I did go see someone and so did he. I do realize that it was a mistake that he made and he loves us. I do love him and I want us to be together or really just break up this situation of living together but not being a couple doesnt work.

So now I don't know how to get things back. He doesnt want to talk about anything, he is so polite and helpful but there is no hugging kissing or anything between us...what can I do from here to try and get us back to being a couple but making sure he realizes what I need from him?
MOM of 6!

Mom to Premies, IVF mom,
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May 16th, 2013, 12:04 PM
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,672
This is hard for me to answer without know what he did. You don't have to say, but my answer would very depending on that info. You can PM so it doesn't go public and I promise it will stay with me.

For know, how were things up to this point? Is most of the hurt anger because of this one thing?

I will say counseling for sure.
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May 16th, 2013, 12:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,749
He has done a few really foolish things that irratate me because I want him to be more responsible. I know that he loves her so much. This one thing he did was awful. We have seen a councellor, but at this point I don't even know how to get him to go back because he doesn't think we are together anymore.
MOM of 6!

Mom to Premies, IVF mom,
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May 16th, 2013, 02:26 PM
<3 Proud Mommy <3
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 163
Oh hun, I can't offer any advice because I honestly don't know what to say, but I am thinking of you & sending so many hugs your way.
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May 16th, 2013, 03:51 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewhere near Detroit, MI
Posts: 8,975
I guess all you can really do is see a counselor or if you have a church speak with your Pastor. I would say it needs to be a couple thing, not individual counseling. It has to be something you both work on together.
Jenifer....The Queen Bee
Nehemiaah Franklin 11/10/14 4:16am 9lbs 9oz
Welcome to the world lil' man!!
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May 17th, 2013, 04:32 AM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Down Under
Posts: 21,233
I'm sorry I don't know you, or your situation but I hope all works out for the best.

♥ Isla Rae Due August 28th

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