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I went ahead and told my mom

Forum: Large Families


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August 16th, 2006, 09:05 AM
Mommyx12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 7,031
that we were expecting again. I probably should have waited but I'm just not a good secret keeper. I feel like I'm kind of lying, plus if I go ahead and tell her she'll spread the news back home and by the time I talk to most everyone they have most of their negititve comments out of the way. So I tell her and get the "why would you want another one?" I basically said why wouldn't I? I told her again how we felt and we thought we would regret it if we did something to stop. That we had considered Eli being or last, but just didn't feel right about it. I told her if we had stopped when everyone else wanted us to then look who we wouldn't have and named the grandchilden she wouldn't have now. Then she went to her second argument which is my health and the toll that having all these babies will take on me. I'm fine and never had any kind of complications except for having really big babies and some having shoulder dystocia, I'm great. My pregnancy with Eli was great, the best I've had! No doctor has ever told me that I was putting myself in danger or at risk. I'm going to talk to my doc though, and then I can say the topic has been addressed. So at least that's over with. I know that as this pregnancy progresses she will get excited. And then after the baby is born she's going to be itching to meet him or her. It's always like that with her, so I wonder why she has to be so negative in the beginning. Since we live away from them, I really should have just not said anything at all and then be like oh here's your grandbaby, course all my other kids would spill the beans long before, because they get excited when we have another baby. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent a little. I know you all know how it is and understand!
Tammy, mommy to:
Jessica(18), Daniel(17), Anna(14), Kaylee(12), Emily(10), Alyssa(9), Eli(8), Nathan(6), Natalie(5), Bethany(3), and Ainsley(1)
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August 16th, 2006, 10:44 AM
Bakin8th's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 3,734
Hi Tammy, No I am not stalking you LOl Congrats once again on your pg!!.

I am in the same boat I didnt tell my mom about the last 2 m/c becase after our 7th was born she made it very very clear that I am not to have any more kids as I am putting the baby and myself at great risk. I was very offened.

My pg and birth history is impecable.... All Vags, All with no complications, All medication/epi free, Not one birth early ( except last that was induced 10 days early so we could follow birth plan to have friend deliver) my doc was leaving town the next day. Last 4 induced with membrane strip no MEDS for inductions and went 2 weeks late late 5x, Had 1 on EDD woke up in labor and of course #7 early via doc.

My uteras as far as we can tell in in perfect shape there is minimal Pelvec floor prolapse. No bladder prolapse ,no incontinance of any kind ( except when 8 mos pg and you sneeze or power puke lol) My cervix is still very high (no Prolapsing in vag canal) and hard for doc to reach so from a medical/ physical point my body is in tip top shape can and handle many more pg's with low risk with the excepetion of random genticaly flawed m/c's we have a 1 in 3 chance of haveing( says doc who is by the way a large family advocate) Sorry for TMI but those are the things they look for when your uteras is getting tired lol

So with that said my mom has NOTHING to base her medically uneducated ideas on but she wont listen when I try to explain that there are low risks ect..To be honest I think it really about her issue not being allowed by my dad to have no more then 3 kids( this is my foster parents the pple I know to be my parents)

So Basicly if I keep in mind its other pples issues within themselves is where the negitivity comes from I can deal with it its not personal even though it feels like it.

MY dh mom ( MIL) will be thrilled when we tell her she loves haveing all the grandkids!! but we will wait till after first u/s so we have all around good news for her.

ALL our friends and other family is very happy and excited for us! So that takes a bit of the sting out of the other negitive folks lol

Irene Happy mom to 7
DS 16, DD 14, DD 12, DD 5, DS 4, DD 2, DS 10 months
#8 Edd April 2nd 2007
& 3 angels in heaven
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
~IRENE~ MOM TO 8 KIDDOES! DS 18, DD 16, DD 14, DD 8, DS 6, DD 4, DS 3 and DS 1

Ttcing #9 After TWO 2nd trimester loss's and FIVE 1st trimester loss's. Missing our 8 ANGEL'S


Kyle (absent) Chelsea, Miki, Hanna, Johna, Sari, Jessiah and Isaiah.

Our 8 Greatly missed Angels
12W, 6W, 6W, 9W 1 twin, 5W
17W twins (sex unkown) and "Elijah"
17W "Angel"
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August 16th, 2006, 04:32 PM
Kristina's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 6,696
ugh I so know how you feel. When I was pg with my fourth my mother said to my brother can you believe Kristina is ##$#$ pg again. I was upset for awhile about this. But this was my dh's and my choice no one elses and I know having a large family is right for us so I will continue to do what we feel is right. hugs hon I wish it was easier on you.

Kristina SAHM of Janessa 16, Xandria 14, Thayer 13, Alorah 10, Nathalia 9, Malayna 7, Sawyer 5, Ryder 3, Kristiana 1 and edd Jan 24

Make a pregnancy ticker

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August 17th, 2006, 07:39 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
I'm sorry! I don't why people have to be so negative. Why would you want to make a pregnant woman feel bad? Doesn't make sense. My DH's family is the same way.

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August 17th, 2006, 08:34 PM
Stacey's Avatar Super Star...mom to 6 ♥
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 21,411
Im so sorry that your mom was so hard on you! Its kindof funny how we still worry what our mothers will say.

People should just learn to say CONGRATS...its not their life and its not like your having a baby and going to be leaving it on their doorsteps!....


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August 17th, 2006, 08:39 PM
Mommyx12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 7,031
It is funny how we worry about what mom says. I felt kind of silly but I was kind of nervous to tell her. But she'll be excited before too long. In a few months she'll be hoping for my to have an u/s to find out what we're having.
Tammy, mommy to:
Jessica(18), Daniel(17), Anna(14), Kaylee(12), Emily(10), Alyssa(9), Eli(8), Nathan(6), Natalie(5), Bethany(3), and Ainsley(1)
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August 19th, 2006, 12:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Rathdrum ID
Posts: 3,766
That is exactly how my Mom is. She would get down right mad each time I told her I was pg again after #3. She wasn't to up set with pg #8 because dh had a vasectomy that failed. We decided after the failure we wanted 1 more! Boy was she mad! But oh well it's my life and if i want to have 12 its none of her business.

Brenda(43)wife to Henry(48)~ Mother to Nicky(23), Bradley(21),Randy(19),Cody(17),Dusty(16),
Chrissy(12), Jeremy(10),Destiny(7),Joey(5),Kailey(3),
Zackery(2)& Due 9/1/2011 w/#12! Grandma to
Brandon(2)& Abigail born 8/12/11!

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August 20th, 2006, 01:16 PM
Willowkarr's Avatar Coupon Blogger
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Gloversville, NY
Posts: 2,995
Congrats on your pg! I am on #4 right now, and I told my mom yesterday. I had my first child at 16, she was upset, and that is understandable, had my second at 18, again upset, again a bit understandable, had my 3rd at 21, and she was happy for me, FINALLY, lol. And when I told her we were expecting #4, she was THRILLED, so I guess, I am allowed to have more and more, cause she seems to be getting happier for each one I have. To bad it wasn't that way for you, but who cares, it is YOUR family, she is a part of it, yes, but she is not the main part. Let her think what she wants and you go raise your wonderful children!!!
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August 21st, 2006, 01:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 573
I understand, trust me. I am falling apart now but even before the high risk pregnancies I got frowns. So I don't care what they say about my health, know one was happy for me before that.
When we found out we were having a girl this time everyone was happy so it felt really nice.
It helps me to know that DH and I will make wonderful grandparents. We will celebrate each new life that is born with our children. I will spoil my dd's and daughter in laws when they are pregnant too. We plan on having grandparents night at our home at least every other Friday so our kids can go out with their spouses. I hope a lot of them get to live close enough to us that we can do this. Or it my turn into grandparents week, when we have them bring all the grand kids to us. If each of our children have 3 kids........ lol It will be so fun.
Its time for me to stop having kids so I can hold up to the grand kids. lol
God Is My Strength !!!
My husband is just the BEST!!!
8 wonderful kids - 2 girls and 6 boys
5 angel babies
Our little treasure
Emerald Rosalyn Faith born Oct.17th

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