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Please tell me this gets better :(

Forum: Moms and Expectant Moms of Multiples


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November 28th, 2011, 08:41 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,676
I just feel that I am not able to enjoy Maddy and Micah like I did my other babies. Also having Kaet (2) makes it even harder. I can not get anything done. My house looks like a tornado has gone through. Most of the days I am still in my pj's. I am just having a hard time right now . I feel trapped.. I can not get out of the house. Heck I do not even know when I am going to be able to do Christmas shopping... Lately all they want to do is to be held and they have been really fussy lately and will not sleep during the day on their own unless they are in my arms.. Ok Enough of my complaining Thanks for listening .....
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November 29th, 2011, 06:34 AM
Rae-of-Sunshine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,211
I don't have any advice, but I can definitely empathize. DH is a SAHD and they are driving him crazy lately. He says he feels like he can't get up off the couch, because Noah just wants him to be within eyesight at all times. The will play in their exersaucer and jumperoo for a while, but only if he is right there, and even then Noah will get fussy and want to be held. They do better when I am home, but then those days we are usually out running errands and doing things, so there is not as much time at home for them (and when we are home there are two of us to tag team). I keep telling him that maybe it will get easier when they can really sit up on their own and start to play with each other ... or maybe the moms of older twins will tell me that is just a pipe dream?
"If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Thy hand lead me and Thy right hand shall guide me."

Psalm 139:9-10
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November 29th, 2011, 11:31 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ontario
Posts: 10,865
Oh Mary, I am right there with you! Do you have anyone who can come a day or two out of the week for some baby holding time?

For the past month my friend's mom comes 2x per week. Last week she only came Monday, and when she came yesterday, I was SO relieved. I took off as soon as she got here, I got to spend some 1 on 1 with my oldest (even if it was at Costco), but it is just a relief to get that time away.

I know my twins have become little terrors with teething, and boycotting bed time. Silas used to be amazing at bed time, and now he will just scream and scream and scream. I dread night time because I am constantly running up and down the stairs trying to figure out what to do or who to tend to first (usually who is screaming the loudest). It is very hard with twins.

if you ever need to talk or vent, you know where I am. FB comes in nicely on my phone. Thank goodness for free data!
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November 29th, 2011, 06:57 PM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: WI
Posts: 12,946
Hang in there. It does get better. I had 2 colicky babies who never wanted to sleep and wanted to be held all the time. A moby wrap saved my sanity. I was able to wear them and walk all over the house. I did so many chores while wearing them. My house was not as neat as I would have liked it, but I just had to let some stuff go for awhile.

I do think getting someone to help would be a great idea. A neighbor, relative or anyone who could even come over and let you get a shower. I used to go to my gym and leave the kids in kidcare there just so I could get a break and a shower.

Thank you peimum for my siggie

Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe

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November 29th, 2011, 09:43 PM
dalynnrmc's Avatar pronounced (day-lynn)
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: near Waco, TX
Posts: 3,305
OH sweetie, hugs to you! It IS a phase and it DOES get better!

Everyone was telling me to have help also - problem was, we had just moved to a new place, knew no one, had no family nearby, and at the time didn't even have a church yet! It was nuts!! If you have the opportunity for help, get it!

If not, try just getting a SHOWER. Looks like you have older kids too? Kids can help and hubby can too. Take your time, relax - the babies will miss you, but they will be fine. They have to learn to be with other people just like you have to learn to deal with two babies.

Try getting out of the house with just ONE baby at a time, leaving the other one with older siblings or dad or whomever. Even if it's just for an hour. This was a life-saver for me last holiday season!

Do you have a swing? Between a swing and a wrap, that is how I survived the clingy stages. And swapping out which baby was where about every 2 hours... lol!

Can you get the 2yo to help you with them? Are you nursing, pumping, bottle feeding? Can she help with that? Does she like to sing or "read" to do that with one baby? Or to make stuff FOR the babies, like cookies or some coloring pages or pipe cleaner projects or something like that?

One thing that saved my sanity with young ones while I was pregnant and *exhausted* to the point of being incapacitated was instituting a mandatory QUIET TIME. I still pull "quiet time" out of my hat now and then when I need a nap, especially if both twins go to sleep at the same time. (Happens sometimes if we all three had a rough night - if I need sleep, I need sleep! And, btw, if both babies are sleeping and you have ANYONE at all to help with the 2yo or can get her to lay down too, DO sleep when they do!)

Maybe more of the moms with twinfants-plus-a-toddler can help here. Hugs to you hun!

Much thanks to Alethia for my beautiful siggie and tags!!
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November 30th, 2011, 09:58 AM
April Flowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,700
Oh man. I feel for you. I only have the two without any older kids and I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I agree with the notion to get help wherever you may find it. Is there any family nearby? Is there a budget for a mother's helper or some sort of daycare? My aunt and uncle used to come over for an hour or two at a time and it was HEAVENLY to be able to take a shower and nap. Do you have anything available like that?

Oh--and yes, it DOES get better. Mine are eight months old now and are on a solid sleeping schedule and are generally all-around happy babies. We have good times now, not just cryfests.

Gorgeous siggy courtesy of tasha_mae!
Oct 26, 2010--Thing 1 is a BOY and Thing 2 is a GIRL

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November 30th, 2011, 03:11 PM
dalynnrmc's Avatar pronounced (day-lynn)
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: near Waco, TX
Posts: 3,305
Came to check on you! How're you feeling today? Hope you're having some good days this week!

Much thanks to Alethia for my beautiful siggie and tags!!
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December 2nd, 2011, 10:34 AM
tundrababy's Avatar Mega Super Twin Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,923
It gets better....a whole lot better!!!! You learn to let go of some things....in 2 years will it really matter if your house was clean when the twins were babies?? not really but you will miss playing will the babies and playing with your toddler. Ditto to taking a shower daily, sounds kind of silly but for whatever reason a shower before noon made an huge different to my day even if I just put sweats back on. And even if it meant putting everyone in the bathroom with me and it was a quick pass under the water with some soap.
Hang in there though....it does get better!!!
Jen, mom to Danika 6, and twins Owen & Rhys 3 (how did that happen!?!)

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December 7th, 2011, 10:53 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
as above, it gets easier a tiny bit each day then all of a sudden they're running and ripping the curtains off the windows-then you have time to clean
twins are tough, you're not alone

Lucky mother to five!

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