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Twin separation anxiety?

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  • 1 Post By KMH
  • 1 Post By Rae-of-Sunshine
  • 1 Post By rushedmommy

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January 14th, 2013, 03:04 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 559

I just brought one of my girls home on Friday. Her sister is still in the NICU. Since we brought her home Sarah has been screaming almost non stop unless she's eating or sleeping (which she only does for 20 minutes at a time) She was no like this at all in the hospital. She slept great and NEVER cried unless the nurses were messing with her too much.

I'm worried that something is really wrong but my MIL and my husband think she just misses her sister and needs more time to adjust to being home. So I'm wondering what you all think. Is this normal? Do your twins get upset when they're away from each other? Did you bring them home at the same time or seperately? What was the adjustment like?
~Daughter of the Most High King
~Wife to my Best Friend
~Mother of Miracles

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January 14th, 2013, 08:23 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: right of center
Posts: 19,318
Congrats on your girls!

I might not be the best person to respond...our NICU docs let both babies stay until they could come home together. We didn't have any issues transitioning to home from the NICU, although our stay was shorter than yours (4 weeks).

How is the environment at home compared to the NICU? We tried to replicate as much as we could...the NICU was noisy, so we always had noise of some kind on all the time. Our NICU was fairly dark, so we tried to keep the lights down when we came home. We tried to keep the temp around the same, didn't overwhelm them with visitors, and tried to keep their stimulation down. Overstimulation can be a problem for NICU babies when they go home, so we tried to keep their environment calm and as much like the NICU...at least for a while until they could get used to life "on the outside."

I would go with your Mommy instinct...if something feels wrong to you, then I'd definitely call the NICU docs/nurses that you are working with. Better safe than sorry!
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Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

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January 15th, 2013, 02:51 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 559
Thank you

I did end up bringing her to the hospital this morning and of course she was totally fine there. We've been trying to keep home as calm as possible and avoid overstimualtion but I never thought about not having enough noise in the backround. I may have to play around with that idea.
~Daughter of the Most High King
~Wife to my Best Friend
~Mother of Miracles

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January 16th, 2013, 06:14 PM
Rae-of-Sunshine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,211
I am glad to hear she was fine when you took her in and it isn't anything serious! I don't have any good advice to add as mine didn't have any NICU time, and mine have never been overly attached to each other, but I think the advice above was great. Making the environment as much like the NICU should help her transition. Hopefully her sister is able to come home soon too!
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"If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Thy hand lead me and Thy right hand shall guide me."

Psalm 139:9-10
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January 21st, 2013, 04:20 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 132
I had one twin who wouldn't sleep without her twin so that wouldnt surprise me.
Angel '97 Aundrea '04 Alex '06 Ammon '08 Aleah '10 Ava '10 Adalyn '12
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February 18th, 2013, 06:52 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 555
I don't have any experience with the NICU, but I do know that anytime my twins were separated as infants, they cried. They were fine as long as they were together.
Mom to:
Quinn - 10
Gavyn & Kendric - 8
Joseph - 18 months
Step-mom to:
Kiersten - 8
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February 6th, 2014, 10:19 AM
Brandi0099's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 321
I would really recommend keeping them close to each-other. When I had my twins (6 years ago ) my DD had to say in the NICU for 5 days after me and DS were discharged. DS did not do to bad without DD, however after we left DD started having more problems. I think that separation anxiety is very real between twins especially when they are newborn babies. After the first day one of the NICU nurses told us to take DS and let him sleep with DD in the NICU and you would not believe the difference it make. Her heart rate normalized and she started sleeping and eating more often. I could tell they missed each other. And to this day I will never forget the day I brought DD home. We laid them right next to each-other on the couch and at a week old they started literally playing with each other, they were grabbing each-others hands and faces and making weird sounds to each other. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced in my life. If you can I would keep them together as much as possible. It really helps. And after we took the babies home I probably should not have done this now that I think back on it because it was probably not the safest way to have them sleep, but we put them in the same bassinet. They sleep so much better, they cried less and they stood on the same eat/sleep schedule. BUT I will warn you if you keep your babies this close.. when they get older its impossible to separate them. They refused to sleep in separate cribs.. they refused to play in separate play pens with out crying constantly and even when they got older they slept on the same bed when we had two in the room and when we split them up rooms they still slept in either DD's room or DS. I hope Sarah starts to feel better. I promise everything will be much easier when Leah comes home! Good luck.
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February 8th, 2014, 05:02 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 559
Wow. I can't believe I posted this over a year ago! Brandie, Thanks for responding anyway. Maybe this thread will be helpful to someone else.

Fwiw, my girls are 16 months old now and still very attached to eachother. Sarah Faith still cries when Leah Hope isn't with her and they still sleep most nights in the same crib. When they are in seperate cribs, they sleep all the way up at the end of the crib that's closest to their sister.
I'm hoping this closeness will come in handy as Sarah is finally just days away from walking but Leah isn't ready yet. Maybe Sarah won't stray too far.
~Daughter of the Most High King
~Wife to my Best Friend
~Mother of Miracles

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February 9th, 2014, 12:23 PM
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 44
That's sweet that your twins are so attached to each other! Best friends for life
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Working mommy and mother to Logan (11), Madeline and Emily (18-month twins), and baby #4 due November 2014.
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