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Bringing babies home at different times from NICU

Forum: Moms and Expectant Moms of Multiples


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February 7th, 2008, 09:41 PM
lilly_&_hunter's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,780
Hi Ladies! My 32 week 2 day old twins are now 12 days old (34 weeks today). Both are doing well - just working on feeding. Owen caught right on - and will have his feeding tube removed tomorrow. Molly isn't too sure about the bottle yet. She takes about half of it and then falls asleep. The night nurse told me that she thinks Owen will be discharged in 2-3 days. Molly won't be coming home at the same time. I am so sad about this. I don't know how to handle having one baby at home and one in the hospital. What do we do? How do we handle this?

My husband and I are excited to bring Owen home.... but sad to leave Molly "behind". Molly is also still getting caffeine every night at 6pm.

I start to cry just thinking of seperating the babies. I hate to imagine Molly laying in her crib all alone. Ugh. How did you handle this? We live an hour from the hospital. DH and my mom can take a few days off work - to help with Owen or sit with Molly. I just wish I could be up there with her all day and home to be with Owen at the same time.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!!
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February 7th, 2008, 10:33 PM
sonnetjie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New-Zealand
Posts: 1,706
I have never been in your situation, but I can just imagine how hard it is.

Congratulations on how great your babies are doing!

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February 8th, 2008, 04:56 AM
FoxyJennRN's Avatar Jenn's the name
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Posts: 15,710
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As crazy as this sounds, you're going to LOVE having one home first, because you can really get used to having a new one in the house, and you can ease into your new lifestyle.

It is hard to make it to the hospital with the other twin home, so don't beat yourself up if you can't get to the hospital as much as you were before. There are nurses and I'm sure volunteers at the hospital to hold and take care of your other twin. With our boy home, and a 6 year old, we were only able to go up for an hour at night to see Samantha, and there were a few days when we couldn't go at all.

The downfall? My son was home about a week and a half before my daughter. I have bonded better with him. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with him being home first or not.

Its going to be a rough next few months for you as you get used to being a mother of twins. Just don't stress about it, and let things go as they will, and you'll be just fine.

Good luck on bringing him home! It's a great adventure, this whole twin mom thing!
Jenn, mom to
Kayla, 15
Spencer and Samantha, 8
Baby due 10/26

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February 8th, 2008, 10:45 AM
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 163
Hi! Congratulations on the babies! One of my girls (Cadigan) was in the NICU for 12 days, and the other (Lainey) didn't have to be in at all. Consequently, we spent more time with Lainey at the hospital and brought her home first. In fact, Cadigan was at a whole different hospital than us. She got air lifted and my insurance wouldn't pay for me and the other baby to go. My husband video taped Cadigan a couple of times and brought me the tape to see while I was still in bed. It made me cry to not be near my baby. I did not see her for her whole first 3 days of life.
However, on the up side, it was really nice easing into the mom thing, as someone else has already mentioned. We got to go home and see how all our preparation for the babies paid off, or didn't (in some cases), and make necessary adjustments before we were big-time busy. I was really excited to have both girls at home, but it more than doubled the work. I think two babies is really 3 or 4 times as much work as one!
I do have to admit that I occasionally feel more strongly bonded with Lainey because she's always been with me. I breast fed her for a month, and couldn't do that for Cadigan. Also, Lainey is much more advanced than Cadigan (possibly a side-effect of being in the NICU), so she's more interactive. But as time goes by I know Cadigan will catch up, and we'll have many years together, so I'm not going to beat myself up over that, and neither should you. Enjoy the one child you can bring home now, and make up for lost time with the other later.

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February 8th, 2008, 10:51 AM
twingirls52905's Avatar loving my new baby boy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 20,461
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I so totally understand where you are coming from. Abigayle was only in the NICU for 3 weeks, whereas Isabelle had to stay 5.5 weeks. Abby was home 2.5 weeks before Izzy. We also were an hour away from the hospital. I didn't get back to the hospital as much as I could b/c I thought I needed to be home with Abby more. It was horrible not knowing how to divide your time with them. We did make sure that someone was at the hospital with Izzy at least once a day, no matter who it was. I feel like I did bond more with Abby at the beginning b/c of this. Now that they are 2.5 years old, I don't think it has affected them or that difference is still there. I will be honest with you, it will be hard, but hang in there. You can do it! Hopefully the second one will be home soon and you all can begin your life together. That was the greatest day was when we were all finally home together!!

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February 11th, 2008, 12:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Grand Rapids Michigan United States
Posts: 2,890
I know what you will go through since one of my girls has been home for 2 months and the other is still in the hospital. She still has a long road until she comes home. It is hard to be with one and not the other. You have to know that they are being cared for when your not their. You have to take care of the other twin. It is the most difficult thing to deal with as a mother. Stay strong and I will pray they are together asap.

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February 13th, 2008, 03:05 PM
mom2my3boyz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Land of Oz
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I hope they will both be home with you soon! I can't imagine how hard that must be!
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