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Totally O/T....help appreciated

Forum: Traveling Mommies


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April 21st, 2010, 05:36 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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It's now a couple of months since I lost my dad, Daniel's Grandad.

Today is the first day he's really spoken about it since we explained to him that Grandad had died back then.

He's said a few times "no more Grandad" or "Grandad's in hospital, find the hospital". We've had cuddles and talked to Daniel again about Grandad being with the angels and Grandad having died, which means he can't come back, and he isn't in hospital anymore. He still looks sad and like he's not really understanding. We've had a good look at the book I had made with lots of pictures of Grandad, too.

Any more suggestions? It's so hard getting a 3-year-old to understand and it breaks my heart.

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April 21st, 2010, 09:11 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Hmm...this is a toughie. For my friend's son we were able to explain that the person was with Jesus and that was enough...

Maybe tell him Grandad is taking a really long nap? Could you maybe take him to the gravesite? Also, there's probably a good non-religious (as well as religious ones) age appropriate book about losing a loved one. Maybe check a local library?

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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April 21st, 2010, 10:39 AM
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Honestly, I don't know.

It's something we're going to have to face within the next year as we just found out that DH's grandfather has cancer. It's going to be hard to explain and my older boys are 4 and 6.

Here are some books I found that look like they might help.

When Your Grandparent Dies

Where Are You?

I Miss You

What's Heaven?


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April 21st, 2010, 12:33 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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Thanks both of you. Thanks for the book suggestions Jenn. I'm going to try and get into a bookstore so I can take a look at some of these recommendations, I want to look at and read the book myself so I know whether it's right for Daniel kwim? Daniel is too young to even really understand about Jesus, and we're not Christian we are spiritual rather than religious, he does understand "angels" and we've told him Grandad is with the angels, but he seems to think that means he can still come home...it's so difficult finding the right words. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses today because I wasn't sure what else to do. Thanks for being here girls xxx

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April 21st, 2010, 01:48 PM
~Allison~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((Hugs)) I'll have to have the same sort of talk with Aaden when he gets older. My mom passed away before he was even born, but I still want him to know about her, so I'll have to explain everything. It's something I'm not looking forward to.
Allison, wife to Aaron (9.28.02), and mommy to Aaden (6.17.08)

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April 21st, 2010, 01:49 PM
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I don't have any suggestions at all that haven't already been said, but wanted to give hugs....that's such a tough topic to deal with
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April 22nd, 2010, 11:12 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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It upsets my mum too, and then I feel like I have to be strong for both of them, and I'm still missing my dad an awful lot too kwim? Thanks for all your support girls.

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