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May 20th, 2009, 02:16 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I've been trying hard to fit into TTCAL, I really have. But I just don't fit there. Everybody there has had a miscarriage, which is really different than stillbirth. They all have this bond, and I just don't. I really feel like the odd man out. I mean, check out the title - on the main page it even says it's for TTC after MISCARRIAGE. Even the title makes me feel isolated. It's such a big board, it's really overwhelming. So I'm gonna make this my home base for ttc posting. I hope that's okay with everyone.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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May 20th, 2009, 02:49 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I think that's a great idea, personally. I felt the same way in many ways. I guess I just bust my way into forums and make them let me in...lol.

There was a TTC after stillbirth subforum there for a while, but it got deleted because of lack of use.

I wonder if we could get them to change the description....
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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May 20th, 2009, 03:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
That is a narrow description since it is supposed to be ttc after loss. I tried on another site when I was pregnant again but it was the same, almost all were ttc after a miscarriage and I couldn't relate. I am sure some or most feel the same.
Brittanie -- what a cute pic of Patrick! Which board did he win pic of the month?

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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May 20th, 2009, 03:19 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
Posts: 3,554
I stick around here, too. It's the only board I feel I really -belong- in

Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
Owen Markus James born October 21st 2009 - 10lbs
Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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May 20th, 2009, 04:38 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
Yeah, I agree. It felt way too big and it seemed like there was a group of regulars who had been trying for long times or were already pregnant vut still hung around and talked with all the other regulars. It also felt weird bringing up Roald because he was stillborn at 25 weeks, not a miscarriage. So to me it was different and I felt like most of them didn't relate to my loss.

However, I will say that pretty much everyone there is very nice. It's just a much larger board than this one; it felt too overwhelming to try to keep up with all the new posts, plus try to become familiar with such a large group of regulars and always alot of newbies. Plus I think alot of short term posters as well (like me). On a temporary level, for someone who has had a miscarriage I think it's a great board. But it didn't do much for me and I felt like I didn't really add anything to it.

I like it here much better. And let's not even talk about DDCs. They are toooo big. I can't keep up and it feels very impersonal.

I think they should make 2 DDCs for each month. You know, like due Nov 1-15, due Nov 16-30. That would make it more welcoming and not so intimidatingly huge and overwhelming. I also felt weird because most women on the DDC haven't had a stillbirth and I wasn't sure if people would be weird if I talked about Roald and/or my pregnancy with him, etc.

So...you guys are stuck with me
Visit Terry & Roald's Memorial Site!

Thanks to Mommy2Belle for my Roald blinkie!
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May 20th, 2009, 04:43 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I'm afraid of DDCs because I am worried someone will give me trouble for having Ethan in my siggy (plus the new banner). Even though JM is on my side, I don't know if I could handle someone asking me to take it down. Or have someone tell me to leave because my story scares them - which is exactly what happened in my old pregnancy group.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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May 20th, 2009, 05:04 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 2,517
I was a member of TTCAL for many months. More months than I wanted to be there of course

Everyone there is really nice and I never had any problems with people being weird about Clark being stillborn and not a miscarriage.

As far as the DDC's, I have Clark in my siggy and haven't had anyone say a thing about it.


Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy Follow us on Facebook

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May 20th, 2009, 06:52 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I haven't ever had anyone here ask me to take Cora from my sig. And I have actually been complimented on our board banner a couple of times. Both times I joined a DDC, I did notice a weirdness about Cora at first. More like people avoiding the huge pink elephant that was the topic. So I just posted a thread about her and asked anyone to ask questions if they wanted and made it easier because they all realized that I won't be offended by comments or honest questions about her.

As for Patrick winning, it was the Feb. 09 PR. It's the same pic that is in my siggy. I LOVE that picture!
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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May 21st, 2009, 06:34 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
I post on the TTCAL board, not as often as I used too. There are new women there which is great, but a bunch of them just made their way over from another board and now I'm so lost. I just look now and respond to certain threads. I try not to keep up, it's impossible. It gives me something to do on my slow days around here though.

Brittanie, that's a great idea about posting your own thread about Cora in the DDC. I think when I join one, I will do the same thing.

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May 21st, 2009, 01:00 PM
Sue46's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Chesapeake, VA
Posts: 1,418
I don't post over here often, but I feel the same you do Rebecca and Stephanie. I've stopped posting over there a lot lately, its become a bit overwhelming.

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May 22nd, 2009, 12:21 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm totally the same. You are my girls (whether you like it or not! )

Sue, you should come join us here. The girls here are amazing!

I have not been on TTCAL since before we went to NY (which was early April). I have nothing against them, but right now as much as we are TTC, I'm still needing help from my s/b girls to help me through it all and I know even if I do talk about TTC with you all here, I won't be told to shut up or anything (not that they would tell me to shut up there, obviously), but I may as well discuss it here with those who *know* me best. Does that make sense!?!

Last edited by LaLaLa1; May 22nd, 2009 at 12:25 AM.
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