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Pregnancy after Loss....so hard and stressful

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July 11th, 2009, 08:26 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 789
So as you all know im pregnant...I am around 17 weeks. On the 21st is the big ultrasound I've been waiting for. My cousin will be in town so she is going to come with DH and me. I am soooo scared to get bad news and my cousin only being 15 I don't want her to be there if there is bad news. I don't want to expect bad news...but I know with any thing its always a possiblity. I am feeling pretty confident that everythings okay. The other day I felt a nice big kick...but nothing big since...just little flutters...I know this early its all about the way the baby is positioned. I just want to be positive and it be December and im bringing home a baby! Its so hard! Part of me doesn't even want my cousin to come visit us bc just in case something has gone wrong then she will be here with me at my lowest again and I don't want her to have to go through that. Am I over-reacting? I know I need to be positive but UGH its sooo hard. I hate this side of me...the expecting the worst side of me. I just wish there was a light on my belly that says...im all good, no need to worry. Wouldn't that be easy?! Ugh..okay thanks for my vent

Last edited by SimplyJenalee; July 11th, 2009 at 08:27 PM. Reason: can't spell! :)
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July 12th, 2009, 01:20 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
oh it's just so tough. I am so jealous of those who are so naive and never even think that anything could possibly go wrong. I would much rather be a naive person than a worrying person at this point.

As for the kicks, 17 weeks is still pretty early and even though it is your 2nd baby, you've probably got a few more weeks until you can actually really feel the kicks.

I don't think you're over-reacting, because unfortunately this is how all of us in this situation will deal with our subsequent pregnancies. We're always going to have that "what if" and worrying feeling looming over us.

Hope all goes well with the u/s. Many
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July 12th, 2009, 08:42 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I think this is our new 'normal'. Worry and stress are just going to be a part of future pregnancies for us. I was just going to post my own thread about my mental issues (I still will - I don't want to hijack your thread), so please know you aren't alone in this. I hate the people that tell me to relax and enjoy my pregnancy. They have no idea what this is like for me, so they should just shut-up. Are they monitoring you more closely? So far, I've had many more appointments, lab tests and one more u/s than usual. It is kind of a relief to know that I am never far from a doctor's appointment. Hopefully it gets less stressful for you, but in case that isn't possible, I hope this pregnancy flies by.

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July 12th, 2009, 09:16 AM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 789
They have been monitoring me more which is nice. and I have swung by the hospital a couple times just to hear the heartbeat (the nurses are so nice). I know starting at 30 weeks I will be going in twice a week for monitoring and appts but at this point 30 weeks seems so far away.
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July 12th, 2009, 02:21 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
I am feeling so much anxiety, worry, pain, etc. with this pregnancy. I was fine until 16 weeks. I also worry about not having that set pattern of fetal movement yet and I know I won't for another few weeks. It drives me nuts. Everytime they put that doppler on my belly I hold my breath and my heart races so fast when they find the baby's heartbeat I think it's my own. I am scared to death of my ultrasound on Tuesday. I am so afraid of hearing air when they put the wand on my belly and not seeing a kicking baby on the screen.

My "extra" monitoring doesn't begin until 28 weeks and the OB I saw said one of the OBs even suggest they wait until 32 weeks (but judging by what this doctor said they will not be waiting that long). Just going 3 weeks in between standard OB visits really feels to us like 6 weeks. Sometimes this pregnancy seems to be going so slow I cry and cry. I just want the baby to be home with us already.

I don't know what I would do as far as letting someone else come into the ultrasound with us. I'm not letting my mother (because of the things she says, etc) and she has given me serious attitude about it. I
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July 12th, 2009, 09:01 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I agree with Laurie, it's the new normal. It's so unfair that we got that innocence and joy stolen from us!

I always just had to force myself to expect the positive, shove the "what-ifs" out of my mind. It wasn't perfect, but most of the time it helped.

There were stretches for me that seemed to take ages, and then stretches that went forever. But my pregnancy with Erin was SO hard! Take it minute by minute if you have to.
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July 14th, 2009, 10:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
I agree with Brittanie, take it minute by minute if that helps. I don't think you are over reacting at all but normal given what you have been through. It sucks that none of us can have a normal carefree pregnancy.
I still felt flutters and such until I was 19 weeks with my 2nd. But it's hard when you feel that strong kick because all you want is to feel it all the time.
That's great the nurses are so nice.

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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