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Me and my never ending anxiety!

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October 12th, 2009, 01:45 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 789
Okay Ladies - I need a vent about how I have been feeling. I apologize if this seems all over the place!

So I am 31 weeks, fantastic, had an ultrasound Tessa is fantastic. I should be reassured but im totally not. Alyssa was fantastic 3 days before her due date...which scares me sooo much. I am so scared to get to the end and something happen again. I have another doc appt next week and I am going to talk to them about all the different options I have at the end of this pregnancy. I know im going to be a mess, I am not, can't imagine how crazy my anxiety will be then. I am sooo excited for Tessa to be here, and im pretty confident nothing will happen BUT I was also confident nothing would happen to Alyssa and then look what happened. Right now as most of you know Docs are saying I will not go past 39 weeks. Great, Awesome to know...BUT if a baby is full term at 37 weeks why can't I have her then? I am so scared that something is going to happen at the end. I just can't help it...my mind always goes there. I am almost confident at the end of this pregnancy I will not be able to hold it together, im so scared. I understand the risks of the baby not being able to breath as welll as she would a week later but what if a week later she isn't breathing at all?! I just want her in my arms safe before anything can happen to her. With Alyssa I went to my doc appt at 39W3D and she was great, 39W6D she was gone...I just can't risk that again.

I honestly think at the end of this pregnancy my BP will be sky high because of my anxiety and they might just induce me early because of that...I am just a mess now...I don't know how Im going to keep myself together at the end. Thankfully the beginning of November my mom is coming down - she will be staying with us for a couple of months which I can't wait for (Super close to my mom). She stayed with us last year for about 2 months also.

Is it crazy that I want to have this baby between 37 and 38 weeks? Is that selfish of me? I know it will be better for Tessa to stay in there as long as she can, BUT look what happened to Alyssa...I don't want to risk something happening again.

Ugh...sorry this post was all over the place but I know you ladies will understand.
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October 12th, 2009, 02:36 PM
Posts: n/a
I'm sorry you are so stressed but it is understandable. Definitely talk to your doctor and let him know all of your concerns and how stressed out you are about this. For Tessa's health, it is better for her the longer she can stay in there but at the same time I totally understand you wanting her to come as early as is healthy for her. HUGS.
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October 12th, 2009, 04:00 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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hun i really cant help u feel better cause i was the exact same no matter what anyone said it just went in one ear and out the next cause i was too scared to even think i was that scared i didnt dare think past that second, i didnt want to tempt fate as i thought

all i can offer is my love and prayers

many many hugs.

i had keeley at 36+6 with diabetes and she breathed fine i was the same i wanted her out at 37 weeks i dont think its selfish i thought that i was a desperate mum who has gone throu a stillbirth who is beyond scared who needed the baby to be born.

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October 12th, 2009, 06:37 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
Oh, believe me Jen --- your anxieties are definitely shared by me. I keep trying to NOT focus on "Week 32", as that was the week the doc couldn't find Noah's heartbeat. And I keep thinking if I can just make it past 32 weeks, it will be smooth sailing. But it won't because I'll keep breathing a sigh of relief at 32 weeks 1 day; 32 weeks 2 days; 32 weeks 3 days and so on and so forth.

The only thing I can tell you --- and I am TRYING hard to take this advice --- is to hang tight. Tessa will be here, safe and sound. As Steph's (Katrina's Mom) words echo through my mind --- different pregnancy, different baby

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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October 14th, 2009, 08:57 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
Why don't you ask a doctor about delivering at 37 weeks?
Eric died at almost 39 weeks. So I was told by my OB if I will get pregnant again they won't let me go past 37 weeks because of that. I know that I would've wanted him/her stay in there longer but I would probably feel that the baby would be safer here then inside.

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October 14th, 2009, 12:54 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
Totally understandable where you're coming from, Jen. Once our babies are safe and healthy born in our arms, we will obviously still have so many other worries...but at least we'll feel as if we have more control. We have absolutely no idea what's going on inside right now and that is what tends to scares me the most.

This is definitely something you have to discuss with your Dr. because it is true that the longer Tessa stays in there, the healthier she will be. But you have to weigh the options of bringing her into this world earlier as opposed to later. Maybe Tessa will just naturally come on her own at around the 38 week mark!

I'm obviously most afraid about my big u/s next Wed. because in July 2008 at the big u/s is when we first got the horrible news that something was horribly wrong with Katrina. But seriously, I am SO afraid about after that too. I have a great feeling Sweet Pea is doing well, but there are just so many other things out there that really scare me when it comes to pregnancy. I know I'll probably be talking to my Dr. about bringing Sweet Pea into this world a bit earlier as well...I don't think they'll go for it, but it's worth a try.

And I'm so glad my words are echoing through your mind, Barb...in order for me to stay sane, I have to tell myself that over and over and over again until it's etched into my brain.

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October 14th, 2009, 10:32 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
We induced Erin at 38 weeks on the dot. I lost Cora at 38w1d. The only reason we didn't deliver earlier was because the nearest NICU that could handle the problems she could "possibly" have was 250 miles away. If there had been a better NICU closer, he would have done it.

So you're not crazy. You've been through the worst thing any mother could ever endure. You have firsthand experience that sometimes the womb ISN'T a safe place (I had to explain that to so many people...)

I went to 39w3d with Patrick before I was induced, and my stress reflecting in my blood pressure was part of it. Definitely be VERY honest with your doctor about how you are feeling. As much stress as it is is NOT healthy for either of you! You may find your doctor more willing to talk about the possibility the closer you get to that point.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 15th, 2009, 04:55 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 789
Thanks Everyone! Wednesday I have an appointment with the OB that I LOVE. I am really looking forward to seeing him again and I am going to discuss what options I have. Thankfully I am delivering at the University of Michigan Hospital and I know they have a great NICU if for any reason something happens. I just can't imagine carrying this baby any longer than I have to...when she is safe to come out I just want her in my arms. I do not feel inside me is safe because of waht happened last time. I will update after my talk with my doctor and see where he is at as well. Thanks again ladies. Big hugs.
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October 18th, 2009, 10:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
My ob wanted to induce me 4 days early with Owen and I thougt I would be fine with that until I was 37 weeks and had a breakdown. The high risk ob ended up doing an amnio and Owen was born at 37 + weeks since his lungs were mature. I hope your talk with your ob goes well. That's great your mom is coming down.

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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