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Those who have had 2 babies since their loss

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October 16th, 2009, 06:29 PM
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Were your 2 pregnancies after your loss very different?

I am feeling very different this time.

With Bella I worried and worried about m/c from day one, I was in having ultrasounds and tests from the very start and it took a few months for even a small amount of that fear to subside, of course it all came back 10fold around the time we lost Sebastian.

This time, this is going to sound horrible but I just don't feel much emotion at all. I am happy I am pregnant and blessed but I just don't feel scared of a loss at this point. I haven't really worried about m/c and haven't obsessed oover cramping or lack of symptoms. I avoided even telling my OB until 8 weeks and when I went in I turned down an U/S and said I'd wait until the 12 week screening to get one. I think because I don't feel pregnant at all my mind is avoiding everything. Once I see the baby maybe it's going to sink in that I am really pregnant and the worry will begin.

It's just very different, I am happy that I am not stressed but I feel guilty about it too.
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October 16th, 2009, 08:26 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I was less stressed at the beginning with Patrick. It wasn't until I suddenly stopped throwing up at 13 weeks that I worried for a bit. And then it wasn't until the very end that I started getting really paranoid (since I lost Cora at 38 weeks). But I was more relaxed up until 30 or so weeks.

Don't feel guilty honey. Each pregnancy is its own rocky emotional journey.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 18th, 2009, 10:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
With Owen I was much more stressed about everything. I got pregnant with Avery when Owen was almost 6 months so I think the distraction of looking after Owen helped. I did stress a lot in the 3rd trimester though.
Easy for me to say but try not to feel guilty.

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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October 20th, 2009, 03:16 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
I have only had one subsequent pregnancy and I am currently 35 weeks. I don't know how I will feel next time but I think what you are feeling is probabaly totally normal. I think for some people they will continue to worry just as much with each pregnancy while some will worry less like you and some may even worry more. I think it just goes by the inidividual.

I do know that once I passed my loss mark of 25 weeks I worried a little bit less. And ever since 32 weeks when I became highly distracted my marital problems I can't believe how the pregnancy is flying by. I think being "distracted" by something, whether it is a positive or a negative, affects our level of conscious worry. Yes...I still have scared moments. But sometimes I swear I forget I am pregnant when I am so worried thinking about other non-pregnancy problems.

Emotions! They're so confusing!
Visit Terry & Roald's Memorial Site!

Thanks to Mommy2Belle for my Roald blinkie!
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