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Questions for ladies with rainbow babies after late loss

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August 9th, 2010, 10:13 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
What kept you from going insane the last few weeks? I have about 3-4 weeks from now until possible inducement, and I'm trying to stay positive, but it's so so hard. As bad as it sounds, I don't fully beleive I'm bringing him home this time around. Am I weird/bad/awful for not being able to stay positive? Also I'm starting to get scared of the inducement process as I've never been induced before. Is it really that bad? I really feel like I need someone to hold my hand from now until he's born.

Last edited by helen123; August 9th, 2010 at 10:16 AM. Reason: gram error
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August 9th, 2010, 11:49 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
I didn't have a late loss, I had my latest loss at 16 weeks. But I do remember being terrified my entire pregnancy, even well after I passed the 16 week mark. I'd had 3 losses in total, and was sure with every single pregnancy that I would lose each baby.

With Grace, my rainbow baby, I finally realized that it would work out how it was supposed to whether I stressed or not. I always say now that you can be 100% sure that you will lose your baby (as I was) and that does NOT mean it will work out that way. I'm wishing you the very best!!!

*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*

Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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August 9th, 2010, 03:02 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I did go just about insane with both of my rainbow babies. Sort of along the lines of Amber, I had to just force myself to try to give up control. I had to realize that just because it happened once, didn't mean that it would automatically happen again, and that no amount of stressing about it would change it one way or another.

I've been induced three times, so I can't directly compare, but it really wasn't all that bad. I've heard horror stories, and for me at least, nothing like that happened. The worst was Patrick, but he was posterior, so it was his position and not the fact that I was induced that made it hard.

My pregnancy mantra is "Everything is okay right now." I can't let myself look very far into the future.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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August 10th, 2010, 01:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,710
I did not have a late loss, I was only 20 weeks with Lucy, but I was induced with her. The induction was not bad at all, in fact it went very very smoothly.

I am only 11 weeks into this pregnancy, and I'm not saying I know exactly how you feel, but I don't think it's weird or awful that you have a hard time believing that you'll bring your baby home. I don't really truly believe that I'll be bringing this little one home either. I have an extremely difficult time being positive about this pregnancy because I keep feeling like I'm going to go through all the discomforts of another pregnancy, and it's all going to be for nothing. It's probably not the best way to go about it, but I deal with my negative feelings by just keeping my mind off the pregnancy as much as possible. If I stay distracted I don't worry as much.

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August 13th, 2010, 04:59 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 696
I lost Robert at 35 weeks. With Mady, I did not have a single moment during the pregnancy that I actually thought she would make it here alive. It was not til I saw them pull her out and she started screaming that I actually felt relieved and finally believed that I could connect with her. I think it is totally normal to not be positive after a loss. The one thing that I cannot get over is how happy and excited pregnant people get to be. Ppl who have had losses get robbed of that. I did not feel any excitement until the moment I got to hear her cry. I can't give you anything on the induction part of it, as I had an induction with Robert, and due to me being only 35 weeks, it was a horror story. With Mady I chose a c-section cause I will never get over what I went through with Robert, and I elected to have her at 37.5 weeks, after an amnio showed her lungs were mature. I know you don't believe it, but you will get through these last few weeks and will be holding your rainbow baby in no time!!!
*A HUGE thank you to Maitri for my beautiful siggy!
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August 17th, 2010, 12:37 PM
Aeterna's Avatar Super Speshil
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: the edge of reason
Posts: 1,721
I was a ball of emotions and panic throughout most of my pregnancy with Henry. Throughout my entire pregnancy I was never confident that he'd be born alive. I kept say if, not when. I had to keep reminding myself that every baby and pregnancy is different and that it was important to be optimistic.

Even after getting passed 35 weeks I was still unsure and anxious. It wasn't until after he was placed on my chest and I saw him pink and alive did I feel that sense of relief. Sweet joy and relief.

My midwife and I talked about inducing labor earlier in my pregnancy. She came over to my house to induce the day after my husband came home on R&R leave (military). He arrived Xmas morning and Henry was born the next day. I was 39.2 weeks.
G 12.04 | E 11.06 | D 11.08 | H 12.09 | R 11.14 | Expecting #6 2.17.18.

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