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June 11th, 2015, 08:51 AM
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 4
As much as I love being a mommy, I sometimes (sometimes often) wonder what I got myself into. I aged out of fostercare at 18 and was desperate to start a family. I call this the young and dumb period of my life.
I have been through an abusive relationship, single motherhood, and the blended family thing. Each had their own challenges. Through it all my kids were always my top priority. I now have three boys: Cody (20), Sean (16), and Mikey (8), and a stepdaughter Cate (15). I love them all so much.
Cody is headstrong (very very headstrong) extremely bright and is becoming more grounded the older he gets. He tends to have these unrealistic ideological ideas on life. He is learning the hard way that I am not nearly as controlling as he thought I was, but the hard way is the only way he seems to want to learn.
Sean I worry about. He had always been a very easy go lucky type of kid until middle school. He dealt with bullying issues and I think that combined with teenage hormones really overwhelmed him. He’s very intelligent and could easily be doing well for himself but he is heading down the wrong path. Him being a teenager with a father who agrees that he should have unlimited freedom makes it downright impossible to get him back on the right path.
Cate is a beautiful, sassy (rolling the eyes J) teenage girl. Really she is awesome in-between the “who is this child” moments. I have raised her since she was 5. She is very shy and I wish she would break out of her shell some, but at the same time I worry about it. She is very pretty, easy going, fun, and boy crazy…….. so yeah…. I wish she wasn’t shy (because I don’t like the way it makes her feel) but secretly am grateful for it too!
Mikey is like raising Cody all over again. He is so bullheaded. I thought being a young mother was the reason me and Cody butted heads all the time, but now I wonder. I have definitely learned how to pick my battles and how to avoid engaging in power struggles, but the child is still bull headed through and through. I’m having a very difficult time teaching him how to have positive relationships. He has several friends that he plays with, but I need to step in and “send them to their neutral corners” often. I don’t get into the petty arguments, which is always how they start, but I tell Mikey that he is not allowed to speak meanly to his friends. “I hate you, ,I never want to play with you again…….” He just runs his mouth and doesn’t stop. I get that kids argue but Mikey really gets upset and needs help calming down. He has struggle getting along with the kids on any of the sports teams to the point that he doesn’t want to play anymore. He feels excluded often (at school, on the bus, ect) and I so desperately want to help him. I had him in counseling for awhile but his counselor left and there was a waiting list for a new one. She did help him with his temper, which I know will help some with his peer struggles.
I’m writing on this board is hopes of making connections with other mothers that maybe have face similar situations, or every to gain some outside opinions and insights. A venting buddy (s)would work too. It’s sad to say but I don’t have much of a life outside of work and kids. When I do get grown up time I tend to talk about my kids. I’m thinking that having another outlet would allow me to be able to separate my worlds a little more and get a much needed escape when I do find time to myself.
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June 11th, 2015, 12:16 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 21
Hi Jen~Welcome! I just read through your post and you sound like a great mom. And, you're so right, each kid is so different and we're always learning as we go. But you definitely seem like you're doing your best to address your kids individually. As far as with Mikey, I'm sure that was wise getting some counseling. So, I hope that will continue to give you some guidance. But I'm glad you're here and I hope you're able to find a lot of support on these forums. Thanks for sharing!

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