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Feeling frustrated and discouraged.... (x-posted)

Forum: TTC with Male Infertility


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January 12th, 2011, 10:30 AM
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So I'm 99% sure AF is going to show up tomorrow, and then we are moving on to IUI for the next cycle.

I'm just feeling sooo apprehensive and discouraged about everything. We were excited after DH's last SA that IUI is even an option for us now. Back in June he only had 4 million motile sperm and now he has 24 million motile. But I was looking at the information packet from our clinic and it says the success rate of IUI is only 8-10% per cycle . Now, I'm honestly wondering if we should really go through with IUI. It's not covered by our insurance (actually, as soon as we do IUI we lose our fertility insurance altogether, nothing more will be covered). Is it really worth it to lose our fertility insurance coverage and pay $500 a month for a 90-92% chance of NOT getting pregnant?

I just don't get how a "normal, healthy" couple has a 25% chance of conceiving per cycle (which BTW I don't really believe, most couples I know get pregnant within 1-2 months max) and even now that my DH's total number are normal and he has normal motility, we still only have an 8-10% chance of getting pregnant even if we give the sperm a major head start!?!? I'm wondering what our chances are on our own now? I know that when he only had 4 million motile we had like a 1% chance. What is it now, 5%? Is it really worth it to have an extra 3% chance? I'm soooo tired of stupid numbers and statistics.

I have a second opinion doctor appointment tomorrow. I have alot of questions for this new doctor, so I hope he is prepared.
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January 12th, 2011, 11:15 AM
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I would check out where the stats that say 8-10% come from... my clinic was the same way, but then I noticed that the stats were from women with unexplained infertility. I would recommend asking your doctor what the chances of a successful IUI are in your specific situation, they can give you a lot more accurate odds of it working.

Why do you lose infertility coverage if you do an IUI? Would you lose it with any infertility treatment or just IUI? That seems kind of silly to me, infertility coverage isn't necessary if you're not dealing with infertility and if you're dealing with infertility you're most likely going to need treatment! If you haven't already call your insurance and find out more about that and if there's any way around it.

Good luck with the new doctor, I hope you can get a plan that will work for you with insurance and give you the best odds of getting a BFP!
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January 12th, 2011, 11:34 AM
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My insurance will cover basically everything (testing, drugs, my DH's varicocele surgery) up until you try IUI or IVF. I can understand not covering the IUI, but I don't understand why once you try that you lose all of your coverage. I've called my insurance company twice about this and they were very blunt that this is the way it is set up and there is no way around it. I have thought about asking my doctor not to bill my IUI to my insurance company, though. How can they punish me for doing IUI if they don't even know we did it? I don't want to be dishonest, but I don't see why it is any of their business that we are doing IUI if we don't ask them to pay for it...
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January 12th, 2011, 11:44 AM
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Wanted to add...my RE did sound like doing IUI for MFI makes more sense than for any other reasons. I mean, if there are plenty of sperm and they are getting up there anyway, why would IUI make a difference. She said it is more likely to help in the case of low sperm count, where giving the sperm a head start could make all the difference....

I'm still not feeling very positive aobout it, but I suppose we have to try..
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January 12th, 2011, 11:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
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I was also very shocked at finding out the stats for IUI working when I first met with my RE about a year ago. I initially hoped me having a polyp removed would be the golden ticket but after a year passed & still nothing, I opted to give it a try. I also have zero coverage towards it which really sucks. Last night I was thinking about all the people who I as a taxpaxer, pay for, get all the kids in the world and then depend on me to pay for them. When a hardworking person who tries to do everything right, almost is penalized.l Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, that really tears me up bad! But anyways, I wish you & your DH luck if you move forward with doing IUI. Its hard not to think of the stats when you dump that much $$ into something that's not even guaranteed to work, but we are trying twice & then will be done.
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January 12th, 2011, 03:34 PM
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I don't think it'd be wrong to tell your dr. you're going to pay for IUI out of pocket not to bill insurance. I don't think because you have insurance you HAVE to use it. I've never done it with medical, but I know I haven't submitted house or car stuff b/c of how it would affect my insurance so I don't see why medical should be any different. I wouldn't want to lose that coverage either and it's crappy your insurance puts you in that situation. I mean it's not a big deal if it works the first time and you never need to use it again, but even IVF is not 100% guaranteed!

If it makes you feel any better about the IUI odds, we had 1.5 million sperm and I got pg with twins. They told me the day of the IUI not to expect anything our chances were that low, so sometimes you DO end up being that 1% in a good way.

Jennifer, I work in a school district and see the kids who my taxes are helping pay for on a daily basis and watch their parents have kid after kid and be so excited b/c that means more money for them and it is really hard to bite my tongue after everything we've been through and it's so easy for the people who seem to deserve it the least. I wish the hard working people who try to do things the "right" way could catch a break once in awhile! But I could go on about that all day, just ask my DH LOL
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January 12th, 2011, 11:09 PM
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I'm sorry your feeling down, I know the odds don't seem good but I know so many that had success with IUI, I just think those statistics are bull. I believe I have also heard of the most success from MFI and IUI...if its the woman with ovulation issues or unexplained, those have a lower success rate.

Insurance companies are for the birds, they cover less and less each year and charge you more and more, my brother is living like a king off food stamps (he gets a ton of money for that) and unemployment money and he and his wife havent worked in 2 years, well 4 for my brother and 2 for her...its pathetic...we work so hard and struggle and he is taking a big trip to disney world next month.

I hope your wrong about af coming but if you do have to do IUI, I pray it works on the first shot, its so hard to stay optimistic when you think about putting hard earned money into something that may not work, I am struggling with the very same thing.

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