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stopping hormone treatment, looking to go donor route-q's for donor users

Forum: TTC with Male Infertility


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September 20th, 2011, 08:42 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 470

So after nearly a year of my DH on Hormone Replacement Therapy Drugs ( he had to inject himself with two different meds , 3 x week ) and not seeing any results ( my DH's body doesn't produce enough testosterone to make semen/sperm) we have decided to stop treatment- mainly because we hit our insurance max and to even get through the rest of the year would be 6000$. We have talked about using a donor and IUI and we're both okay w/ this idea- however we recently discussed the idea of using a family member as the donor, my DH was hoping using his dad and or brother. While I can understand where he's coming from, the idea of using a family member as a donor sort of worries me, my concern is - what if the baby looks just like his BROTHER or his DAD, can I handle that? Can my sister in law handle that? Can my brother in law or father in law handle that? Can I get past the idea that my child's grandfather could actually be their father... ? Has ANYONE who used donor sperm used family sperm and what was it like for you?

I hope everyone is doing well and getting to their mommy dreams. Let's keep our heads up ladies!
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September 22nd, 2011, 02:17 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 135
I will be using donor sperm also. I can see his point of using family members but totally see yours to. I honestly feel there are sooo many donors out there that if you take the time and really look you will find someone who is perfect for you. It took me a few months to narrow it down and now feel very happy with my choice. I myself would not be ok using a family member, just because of legal matters, looks, feelings. I just couldnt. But totally your decision
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September 27th, 2011, 09:07 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 470
Hi Jessica

I appreciate your opinion and obviously my DH and I have some talking to do before we make this uber big decision. BEST to you on your adventure on getting pregnant! I have been to some of the sperm bank websites and it's almost FUN because it's like shopping in a weird way. I hope it works out for you!!
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September 27th, 2011, 01:36 PM
Sasix's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 12,034
DH & I didn't even consider a family member mainly because he has 1 brother but it's not a good relationship. Together we searched through the different banks and chose a donor. We were successful our 2nd IUI cycle and our beautiful boy is almost 17 months now. Good luck! I sometimes forget to check in here on this board since we're not currently TTC ,but I'm always willing to answer questions or assist. PM me if I forget to check in to a message.

Thanks Jaidynsmum for another perfect siggy!!
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September 28th, 2011, 07:45 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 470
Thank you Becky! I think I am def leaning towards more a donor from a bank, I think in the long run that would make it best for us all. I can appreciate anyone's decision to use a family member but I don't think I personally could get that fact out of my head or when I looked at my child. Your son is adorable by the way. Gorgeous pics

Thank you !
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